lucy

Sunday (Pictures)

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. *Gulp* Seems like, with all the changes I’ve been through in the past few years, I should be used to this, but I’m not. I haven’t worked full-time in months, so getting used to getting up early, having most of my day belong to someone else, and coming home late in the evening (on a crowded bus!) is… nervous-making (heehee, I just read EXTRAS by Scott Westerfeld). I have a Red Bull in the fridge that has my name on it for getting through tomorrow.

The hunt for work clothes is done for now. I went to Kohl’s last night, and found REALLY cute pants in the junior section…but the dang things are too long for me. I bought them anyway, because my friend Jonathon told me that I can get pants tailored at the cleaners. I never knew this. For someone who NEVER seems to fit the inexpensive nice dress pants, this is welcome news. Anyway, I got some really cute dressy clothes, and I’m excited to wear a new outfit tomorrow.

I *think* I’m starting to come to terms with Little Lucy… it’s nice not to have to worry about her anymore. I still get sad when I think about her, but I know that she’d have just gotten sicker and sicker.

Here are a couple of pictures from when I first got her in September of 2001:

She was so tiny and adorable. That first night, I took her home and gave her a bath, and we sat in the bathroom, her sitting on my chest, for hours. The next morning, she was done with the cuddling and wanted to get out and explore. She was a great little kitty. Not afraid at all of the two older cats who lived there. She often stole their food and started fights with them. But she was painfully shy, only coming out to meet people when she got a bit older. Otherwise, she was always hiding. Many guest never saw her in person. But as soon as the guest left, she’d be all over me. My very own little lap kitty.

She was a great little kitty, and she’ll always be in my heart.

Yesterday at Best Buy, I saw a cute little Sony digital camera. It’s pink, 7.3 megapixels, and great quality. See it here. It’s also just the right size to fit in my bag. I love my Canon, but it’s huge and heavy, and I’d like a smaller camera to carry with me ALL THE TIME. I’m going to be working in downtown Chicago, a mere few blocks from the lake. I would hate to miss something cool. So, I think I’ll get it when I get paid. I have obligations to take care of first.

Speaking of obligations, yesterday I took care of stuff. I opened a new bank account at the place where I’d been wanting since I moved here. Got a pair of noise-cancelling headphones in the process! :) Then I went to State Farm to talk about getting my insurance switched over. Turns out it’ll be better if I wait until July to do so because then my rate goes down. YAY for that. I’m covered anyway so there really is no rush. Adam put a new battery in my car, so my car is running again. Just in time, the street cleaners are coming tomorrow. We have to do some big grocery shopping this week. gotta stock stuff that a five-year old would love to eat.

This is a big week for me. I start my new job tomorrow, and Thursday, Chris brings Aidan to stay with me for the summer. In addition, my mom is coming along, so it’ll be her first time in Chicago. Work is already aware of this, and I have Thursday and Friday off to prepare. Adam and I have to clean out the guestroom so it looks more like a bedroom and less like a storage area, and we have to do some normal cleaning because the parentals will be here. Adam’s parents will be passing through as well. It should be an interesting day, and I’m very excited to show my mom Chicago.

There are some times, usually when I am eating with good friends, and the weather is sunny and mild, that I feel OK here. It’s still taking some getting used to. Like Richard said, it’s going to be a while before I can call Chicago home.

Still, I am excited. It’s summer in Chicago, and the only thing better than that is Disney World with Aidan. Everything is going to be OK.

‘Til next time….

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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More About Little Lucy…

Thank you all for your kind words yesterday. I feel a little better this morning, a little more accepting. Still hurting, though. I miss her. But I realize that I miss the healthy Lucy. The one who would plant her butt firmly on my keyboard when I was in the middle of typing an email or a LJ entry. The one who would stick her nose all the way into my mouth until she was satisfied that she learned what I had for dinner. The one who would wake me up at 2am because she had decided to pull my hair for whatever reason. The Little Lucy who wanted to get pet and darn it, she was GOING to get pet no matter what I was doing that I thought was so important.

I have never lost a major pet before. I always had fish and hamsters, and although I was sad that they left, it wasn’t like this. I had a dog in high school. Darby the Dog. He ran away while I was away at school, and although deep down I know that he probably didn’t survive, I like to believe that someone saw how awesome he was and took him in.

Lucy hadn’t been doing well ever since she moved here. At first, I thought it was stress from the move, that she needed a bit of space and would come out when she was ready; that was how she’d done big changes in the past. But this time she never really bounced back. Instead, she started eating less and less, drinking less and less, and then she wasn’t eating or drinking at all. She was always a little cat, but she was down to 4.5 pounds. She could barely walk without collapsing. Her liver had basically shut down, and she was dehydrated. It would have taken a week in the hospital to MAYBE get her better, and there is no way she could have handled that. She was always a delicate little thing, nervous and skittish. Even if it was just the two of us, any sudden movement would send her running to hide under the bed or behind the toilet. The stay in the hospital would have been far too traumatic for her. The vet said that given how sick she was, this was something that had going on for a while, and the stress from the move might have helped trigger it. :(

I’m slowly coming to terms with having made the decision to put her down yesterday. It was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made. But when I held her in that office for one last time, and she was looking away, I knew that she had already said good-bye.

I feel so many things right now. Heartbreak, grief, emptiness, guilt. I knew that one day I would lose her, but I honestly expected at least six more years with her. To have her gone so suddenly is a shock.

I miss my little Lucy.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Productive & Random (Pictures)

Today didn’t start off so productively, I must admit. I lolled around in bed until about 4:30pm. It felt so nice, just relaxing, reading, and drifting in and out of naps. And that yummy electric blanket. Mmm. What a great way to spend a winter Saturday.

I messed around on the computer for a couple hours, and then I decided that it was FINALLY time to take down the Christmas tree and decorations. To be honest, I feel kind of cheated regarding this last Christmas. It was wonderful, it truly was, but it just SPED by! Maybe because I put my tree up so late. Maybe because a lot of the holiday was spent in kind of a pain-filled haze. At any rate, it just doesn’t seem like I should have to wait another eleven months to hear holiday music and enjoy the pretty lights and decorations. It’s not fair. Time crawls all the time, but my favorite time of year comes by and it’s over in a blink. *sniffle*

Oh well. I’ll get over it. I mean, I do have a lot to look forward to this year. There’s the big move to Chicago (which makes me have more panic attacks than it should–simply because the whole thought of packing this place up, loading it into a truck, moving, unloading, unpacking, setting up is sooo overwhelming). I hate the moving process. If I could afford it, I’d have movers do the whole thing. The packing, loading, driving, etc. As it is, I MIGHT be able to swing the U-Haul and all its pieces and parts. So, that’s the part that scares me. And the job search that will take place once I’m there. That scares the hot banana out of me. I hate the job search process. I just changed my careerbuilder profile to start showing me Chicago-land jobs, but my line of work–I don’t think it’s worth trying until I’m there. I know how cheap publishing companies are. They’re not going to fly me out to interview me for a copy editing position, not where there are 49084594 copy editors already living there. Anyway, I’ll probably end up someone’s administrative assistant when I do get a permanent job.

I’m going to have to do some MAJOR de-cluttering. That means going through all my clothes again and getting rid of stuff I don’t wear now and never will again. That means getting those space bags and condensing a great deal of “fluffy” things. And I should really, really try to use up all the shower gels and things I have, because I do not want to move that stuff!

I’d like to snap my fingers and have all that stuff taken care of, so I can just enjoy setting up house with Adam.

So, the tree is down, the decorations are put away. I did a little bit of rearranging. I put the side table on the right side of my futon instead of the left. The lighting seems to work a lot better that way. I also cleaned Aidan’s room, and finally put up the Disney posters his soon-to-be Aunt Melissa gave him. I also set up a little radio in there and plan to get him storybooks on tape so he can listen to them before bed. Maybe those things will make him more inclined to sleep in his own bed without much fuss. It would be really nice.

The top of my entertainment center which used to house a clusterfuck of a mess, now has my degree, my “Ronica” name thingy, and the bananas dancing picture Jen painted for me years ago. Much nicer looking. I packed away a lot of things I’d had out as decorations before, but one giraffe is still out, and my little white elephant with its trunk up.

I had a goal of condensing my Christmas decorations into two boxes, and I did it! I was so excited. And you know how everyone amasses billions of those plastic bags from the grocery store, etc.? I finally found a use for some of mine. I wrapped ornaments in them, and my village pieces, too. When I start seriously packing for moving, I will use the rest for that. No need to get newspaper or foam things! Whee!

I got on my other computer and cleaned out my gmail accounts. I had Inbox Dollars paid emails from before Christmas to process, and a few surveys to take. I’m going to be cashing out my Inbox Dollars balance soon and put it in the Chicago account. I have a few other things to cash out too, that’ll help the move a little bit.

I need to clean out my refrigerator. This is sad. There are loads of Christmas leftovers in there, but I was in so much pain that I didn’t bother to eat them. Now that I can enjoy them, I suspect they will wreck havoc on my digestive system. So I have to throw them out. Well, I am procrastinating because throwing out leftovers means there will be dishes to wash. Ew. It’s not even *that* many, but still. Ew.

I need to get groceries, but I refuse to do it until my fridge is clean. I have half a mind to do it now and then make a late-night run to Meijer. I just printed off some coupons, and I am desperately craving bacon, which I am out of! I will need to get cat food for little Lucy soon, and I also want some ice cream. I need to make a list and get more coupons printed out, though, before I hit the store. A late-night run to Meijer sounds really good, though. I’ll be done and can relax all day tomorrow, and I will have a clean fridge. And I’ll take out the trash before I go to the store, so no stinky apartment to worry about.

This not being in pain stuff is so strange to me. The other night, my ear started to bug me so I was scared it was coming back, but by the time morning rolled around, I was okay. YAY. It’s nice, though, feeling normal. My appetite still is not full force, which I don’t mind. I do keep eating too much candy, though.

I’ve been listening to The Andrews Sisters lately. I love that kind of music, it reminds me of cartoons such as Tom & Jerry and Woody Woodpecker. It helped me get through the whole “decorations coming down” ordeal.

Aidan comes back to town tomorrow. I’ll see him on Wednesday. I have all this stuff planned for when we have a weekend together. My mom gave him two $25 gift cards to Toys R Us, and I have a $3 off birthday coupon for him! I also have a coupon for a free meal for him from Bob Evans, so we’re going to make a day of it. Plus, he has all his Christmas stuff to play with. YAY Aidan. :)

My computer is mad at me because I turned off the automatic update install. Well, when I have stuff on it overnight, I don’t like for my computer to randomly reboot and take it away. So POOP on you, Norton and HP Healthcheck!

I was playing a bit with my integrated webcam last night, and came up with a couple cute ones.

Ronni on the Webcam Again
O hai!!

Ronni on the Webcam Again
Lovin’ on Little Lucy
(yes, I know, I need to get reaquainted with a comb or a brush….)

And finally, my typing test results:

75 words

Touch Typing

I need to dust, but I can’t find my Swiffer dust thingy. Oh well. Some other time.

Off I go to clean the fridge, do the dishes, and hit the store, I think. Good night, I mean, good morning.

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