reflection

2005!!

For the most part, 2005 kicked major ass for me. I pray that 2006 is equally and more amazing.

IN 2005 HAVE I:

Hugged someone? Of course!!
Gotten into a fight? Over AIM and/or email, yes.
Cried? Yes, far too much.
Smoked? A few cloves.
Drank alcohol? Yes.
Kissed someone on the cheek? Yes.
Reunited with an old friend? Um…? Kind of.
Been suspended? No.
Let something go? YES!! πŸ˜€
Been whipped? No.
Learned any important lessons? Yes.
Got a kiss on the cheek? Yes.
Kissed someone on the lips? Yes.
Considered suicide? WTF?
Gone to a funeral? No.
Fallen in love? No.
Cut/dyed your hair drastically? Drastically? Nope.
Flirted? Sure.
Been backstabbed? Yes.
Missed someone? Yes.
Hit someone? Depends on what you mean. Hit someone as in punched? No. Hit a car? Yes. :
Broken something really important to you? I don’t think so.
Cuddled with someone? Yes.
Broken somebody’s heart? Doubt it.
Done something you really regretted? Don’t even get me started.
Laughed so hard that it hurt? YES!
Cried so hard that it hurt? Yes. Too often.
Got cheated on? I hope not.
Gone on a date? No.
Got dumped? No.
Dumped someone? I think I dumped a few “friends.”
Made a new screen name? Um, I think, maybe.
Lost a friend? Yes.
Gotten any tattoos/piercing? No.
Watched porn? Hell no.
Been in a love/hate relationship? Eh?
Loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes.
Been grounded? Nope, LOL.

FRIENDS:
Lost: I’m not going to list them because it doesn’t matter anymore.
Drifted: Can’t really say because friendships are so static.
Found: Theresa, Bizzy (again!), Rob.

SERIOUS BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS:
Found: …
Lost: …

BODY:
Weight: Stayed about the same, hovered around the 105-110lb mark.
Piercing/tattoos: N/A
Height: 5’2″ ish.
Hair: Medium length.

WORK:
Careers: Nationwide (admin), left in August to be an editor at McGraw-Hill.

STUDIES:
Writing course – Chicklit 101.

BAD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– As if I’m going to admit them here. >:)

GOOD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– Queried agents.
– Disneyland.
– Disneyworld.
– Raised Aidan.
– Kept writing.
– Got a new job.
– Traveled a lot.
– Let go.

NEW EXPERIENCES:
– California.
– First solo flight.
– First speeding ticket.
– First “official” accident.

THINGS I HOPE TO DO IN 2006:
– Sell my novel.
– Finish a new novel.
– Officially sign with an agent.
– Go back to a Disney park.
– Pay off two credit cards.

———————————————

1. What did you do in 2005 that you’d never done before?
I queried agents. I traveled to LA by myself. I flew solo. I went to Disneyland. I partied in Chicago. I wore my hair straight. I wore skirts and they looked good! I got my first speeding ticket. I got in my first “official” accident. I became an aunt. I went to the Smoky Mountains. I met Aimzy verytruly, Star selfstyled, and Kelly hybridpeach. I met Vera littlepige.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more this year?
I don’t remember if I made any last year, but I did do some amazing things. I did make some this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jenny just gave birth to a little girl yesterday, and my sister-in-law gave birth in August. Both girls. πŸ™‚

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you vist?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
In 2006, I’d like to officially sign with an agent.

7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 13, 2005 – I was back at Disneyworld! HOME SWEET HOME! πŸ™‚
September 9, 2005 – my first time at Disneyland!
August 12, 2005 – my last day at Nationwide.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I finally let go!
I queried agents!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Needing to let go in the first place.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of upper respiratory infections.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new camera. πŸ™‚

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Um… I have to say Chris’s. He’s really been trying on millions of levels and his loyalty has increased ten-fold. He’s been wonderful with Aidan and amazingly supportive as I try to make a career out of writing. He’s also been trying to keep on top of the dishes and making sure the finances are straight. πŸ™‚

13. Whose behavior was bad?
Heh. I won’t mention names here.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, stuff for me, car stuff, stuff for Aidan.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
TRAVELING! Being with my friends. Meeting new friends. Writing. Becoming ultra serious about making writing my career. Aidan’s development.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
“Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier
II. thinner or fatter? Exactly the same
III. richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting my time on the wrong people.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with Chris and Aidan–Craig came over later.

22.Did you fall in love in 2005?
With photography and nature.

23.How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
I didin’t want much TV, but I enjoyed Unwrapped, and 30 Minute Meals.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not hate, but there is a general negative feeling about the person(s) and situation(s).

26. What was the best book you read?
Dreamland by Sarah Dessen and Pop Star by Rachel Cohn.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
WICKED!

28. What did you want and get?
A sweet camera. Best Buy gift cards.

29. What did you want and not get?
More Best Buy gift cards LOL.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, followed by Hitch.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 this year, and kept my birthday pretty low key. I worked like crazy that day, and when I came home, I relaxed, chatted on the phone to a few people, and Chris gave me my presents. I liked it.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More writing, selling a book. Becoming an author.

33. How do you describe your personal fashion sense in 2005?
Trendy, bohemian, casual, comfortable.

34. What kept you sane?
Lexapro, my computer, books, and my friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Pattison. HA.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Don’t get me started, please…

37. Who did you miss?

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Online, there is Rosa dwagonfry. She’s awesome!! Also, Mandy mandywriter, and Lauren laurenbarnholdt. They are such inspirations to me. :)Offline? Kristen, Nikki, Theresa. Good times.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005?
If it doesn’t feel natural or right, then it’s probably wrong. If you feel tension, or a bad feeling in your gut, move on, because it will hurt more in the end.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Working so hard every night and day and now we get the payback…” – Luxurious – Gwen Stefani
“Here comes a better version of me.” – Better Version of Me – Fiona Apple

HAPPY NEW YEAR! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Comments Off on 2005!!

Reflections of 2004 and Looking Ahead to 2005

Notable Things of 2004:

In January, I glanced at the TV and immediately developed a crush on Adam Brody. Ha ha.

In February, I got my driver’s license, and I met Katie live4himalways, my bright shining star.

In March, I met new people who would impact my life tremendously: Tyler, Kelly, Rob, Monica, and Garth. I started working with Crosstrainers, the high school ministry at my church. It was quite the rewarding experience.

In April, I finished my novel!

In May, I met Bizzy otaku_witch, Emily yoimemily, Becky magecky413, more people who would tremondously impact my life.
I said goodbye to Tami, who went overseas to teach English for 3 months. I learned the value of true friendship, and realized that there were people who I’d barely knew who cared a great deal about me. That was incredible.

In June, I said goodbye to Garth, who went overseas for a few weeks, and in his place, took over the small group for a bit. I enjoyed the opportunity to get closer to the members of the group. I played volleyball in a pool for the first time ever and had a wonderful time doing it.

In July, I decided to learn to play guitar. I bought a Fender acoustic and enjoy strumming it when I’m agitated or just feel like showing off. πŸ˜‰ I met Chad and Christy and hit it off with them!

In September, Ivy came and stayed with me for about a week! That was such an awesome time, even though I had a kidney stone. THAT was not fun. I love Ivy and can’t wait to spend more time with her. I decided to stop Crosstrainers because the time commitment was incredible. I bought a notebook and fell in love with mobile computing.

In October, I went to Las Vegas for the first time and FELL IN LOVE with the city!!! I mean… it’s beautiful out there. I can’t wait to go back! I went through a corn maze also.

In November, I fell in love with my friends. I got to spend more time with Becky, Emily, and Bizzy and wow, those girls are all amazing. I am so blessed to know them. I got wireless internet!

In December, I had a blowout on the highway (tires, not poop). I had the best birthday ever. I had a wonderful party, go to have quality time with my friends, and did some brave things. πŸ™‚ I also enjoyed and hated the most amazing ice storm to ever hit. I scored over $500 in Best Buy gift cards and bought a new camera! πŸ™‚ I watched my son turn two years old and got to spend time with Charla!!

There were some trying times in 2004. Times when I didn’t want to endure another moment on this earth. Times that I argued like heck with God. Times that I came close to losing my faith. So many times. So many things.

What does 2005 have in store for me?

There are some definite things I want to do. Work on getting my writing out there. Hunt for a new job–one closer to my passion. Let go of some things. Reevaluate my priorities. Find my place in the world. Stop worrying so much, letting God have control.

We’ll see how much of that gets done.

Happy New Year.

Comments Off on Reflections of 2004 and Looking Ahead to 2005

So Little Time…

Time flies so quickly, and yet it seems to stand still. A paradox? Yes. Let me explain. When I am at work, the days sometimes drag on and on. Today was okay because I had lots to do. But during my down times, the days go slow, and I find myself resenting that time when I could be working on something *I* care about, like my writing (which I’ve been neglecting terribly), my website, or connecting with my friends. When I am looking forward to something, it seems that time trudges to this thing, but then before I know it, it’s here, and then it’s over. Poof. Gone.

My evenings speed by, especially the ones where I spend time with my friends. There are so many people I want to spend time with in any way–emailing, phone, IMing, or in person, and I find myself overwhelmed because there seems to be so little time. I feel like a Sim. You remember how you always wanted to build up the Sims social but they were always too tired and they were spending all day at work? That’s me. Oh yeah. I never have time to play a computer game either, and I sometimes wish I had a few hours to kill playing Roller Coaster Tycoon or The Sims or Zoo Tycoon.

Sometimes, I want to =do things creatively, or journal, and it’s so late that I can’t after I’ve spent time with friends. All because I have to get up for work the next day. And I find myself resentful of the job. (NOT of the friends!)

It’s stupid, really. I am very grateful for my job. It allows me to live as I do, to have fun, to give. I sometimes wish I could spend less time working and more time on ME. I know that won’t ever happen. I need a full time job. I need the money. And so I’ll work and work probably til I am too sick to do it anymore. Retirement? Hah. I can’t even save $100. So, there will be no retirement for me! I guess my deal is that while my job is okay, it’s not really satisfying or fulfilling. And that’s probably what many people say about their jobs, so I know I’m not alone. I’m glad it’s there–I’m grateful for the income. But I wish I could do something I’m passionate about and get paid well for it.

My dream is still to be an author. And I just need to take the time and work on my writing instead of running from it. I get so nervous at what’s out there. The rejections, the publishing world. Putting my baby out there for people to see, read, criticise. It’s scary, and I know I’m hesistating writing my synopsis because I have cold feet. But I have to get over it and do it. If I don’t, then I’ll never become a bestselling author, and I will resent being a secretary for the rest of my life. To realize my dream, I have to work for it. Dear Lord, give me strength to endure…everything on that front.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to do what Hermione did in the 3rd Harry Potter, when she did the time thing. I’d get to find ways to do all the stuff I want to do socially, personally, spiritually.

The last week of August, Chris is taking Aidan and some friends on a “guy’s trip” to the Smokey Mtns in Tennessee. This will give me plenty of time for ME. I won’t know what to do with myself, and all the free time. I hope to spend it relaxing, getting in touch with God, rejuvenating. Also connecting with my friends.

In the meantime, I need to take a shower and go to bed. So… g’night.

Comments Off on So Little Time…