reflections

End of the Year Reflections

01. Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes, I’ll have to say, for the most part, it was. It certainly was interesting.

02. Where were you, and who were you with, when 2006 began? And where will you be when it ends?
I was at Chad and Christy’s house, at a New Year’s Eve Party. Some of the people I was with included Kim, Ben, Caty, Christy, Abbie to name a few.

I will be here in my apartment, wearing my blue footie pajamas, and hanging with Aidan when it ends.

03. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
– Aidan, Aidan, Aidan, and Aidan;
– signing with a big time literary agent;
– making it through the year with no accidents or speeding tickets;
– taking huge leaps of faith in regards to my personal life;
– taking a chance with a new job;
– taking my first “road trip” all alone;
– reading more than 100 new books;

04. What was your biggest failure or regret?
– Not selling ONLY YOURS.
– CRUSH getting rejected.

05. What did you do that you’d never done before?
– saw Bob Dylan (twice!);
– saw Wicked;
– ate rattlesnake;
– visited The Grand Canyon;
– visited Philadelphia, PA;
– visited Phoenix, AZ;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– took a ghost tour (I ended up taking six!);
– cooked a Crock-Pot meal;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– started a debt management program;
– got a flu shot;
– friendship journal with Amy and Star.

06. What did you hope to do but didn’t manage to?
Save money. Visit Ivy. Sell Only Yours.

07. Are you going to try to do these things this coming year instead?
Yes.

08. Did you make any major decisions? If so, what were they?
a) I became separated.
b) I asked for a dissolution.
c) I changed jobs.
d) I decided to wean myself off of the Lexapro. I am down to 10mgs a day instead of 20mgs. So far, so good.

09. Did you explore any new ideas or concepts you had never considered before?
Yes.

10. What did you learn?
That there is a lot more to me than I ever imagined. And that I like it.

11. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My friends tell me that MY behaviour does, because I was strong and taking charge and blah blah blah, but I have to say THEIRS did, because they’ve gone above and beyond to make me feel supported, loved, taken care of. Andy, Rosa, Ivy, Star, Adam, Amy, Wanda, Helen, Ci, I love you all and I am very grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for everything.

12. Whose behaviour upset you?
No names, but the people who decided to stop talking to me because of decisions I made with regards to my personal life.

13. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveled more. Planned more. Written more.

14. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Holding back. Keeping secrets. Stressing out. Worrying.

15. What did you get really excited about?
a) Visiting Chicago all the times I did. :)
b) Seeing the Grand Canyon.
c) Bob Dylan concerts.

16. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I know of.

17. Did anyone close to you die?
Grandpa Davis. :(

18. Did you attend any weddings or funerals?
Grandpa Davis’s funeral in February.

19. Did you miss anybody?
Yes.

20. Which countries did you visit?
N/A. Dang it.

21. Which new places did you visit?
Ft. Wayne, IN., Philadelphia, PA.

22. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing unusual.

23. What was the best thing you bought?
All of my plane tickets to Chicago, and my digital SLR camera.

24. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

25. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? the same
b) thinner or fatter? fatter
c) richer or poorer? poorer, most definitely poorer

26. What was your favourite film of the year?
Clerks II.

27. What was your favourite TV programme?
N/A.

28. What was the best book you read?
The Giver by Lois Lowry.

29. What did you want and get?
A DSLR camera, an agent.

30. What did you want and not get?
A publishing contract. Constant financial security.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. Bizzy came over and we ate spaghetti and watched The Boondock Saints.

32. What was your personal fashion concept of this year?
Jeans, sweaters or tee-shirts, my cheap Champion shoes. Or peasant skirts and camis.

33. Did you make any significant changes to your appearance?
I stopped wearing makeup, except for powder to tone down the shine. I began wearing my hair shorter, although that wasn’t really my choice. BUT, I did stop straightening it so much, and started letting it air dry.

Curly Sunday New Hairdo

34. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I didn’t really fancy anyone, but I did have a raging crush on Trent Ford for about ten minutes.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Execution.

36. What world event affected you more than any other?
Too many to get into right now.

37. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 29, 2006, for reasons I want to keep private for now.

38. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing outside of the ordinary.

39. What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
“My Love” by Justin Timberlake
“Sanctus” by Philip Riley and Jane Elleson
“What Goes Around…/…Comes Around” by Justin Timberlake
“Sorry” by Madonna
“Gotta Go, Gotta Leave (Tired) by Vivian Greene
“Believe In Me” by Pleasure Center

40. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I did. With Chicago. With pretty, dramatic sunrises over the Columbus skyline. With the American Heritage dictionary. With copyediting. With photography, using filters and lenses. With my little boy, as he grows and becomes the person he is meant to be–funny, charming, affectionate, smart, amazing. With much, much more, that I want to hold inside for now.

41. How many one-night stands?
Negative.

42. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think so.

43. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I enjoyed “discovering” Bob Dylan, Josh Groban, and Justin Timberlake (again). Oh, and Jennifer Berezan. The Returning CD is ace.

44. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling a book!

45. What kept you sane?
My friends. Sometimes, I just don’t understand how they put up with me!

46. Who was the best new person you met?
Adam Selzer. He’s awesome. ?

47. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling a book!

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Getting your dreams, it’s strange, but it seems, a little well, complicated. There’s a kind of a sort of, loss, and a couple of things get lost. And there bridges to cross you didn’t know you crossed until you cross.”

49. What would you like to happen in the coming year, either personally or in a more global sense?
I want to get better with money, and MAKE MORE OF IT. I want to finally publish a book. I want to write and write and write. I want to travel more. Continue enjoying the copyediting. Pick up some freelance jobs. For Adam’s prediction to come true that 2007 will be a good year.

50. What are some of your personal goals for the new year?
Get a promotion. Publish a book.

51. What would you like to avoid?
Drama. Living paycheck-to-paycheck.

52. And finally, where do you see yourself in a year’s time?
I have no idea.

* * *

Were you in school (any time this year)?
Nope.

How did you earn your keep?
McGraw-Hill for most of the year, then I moved to Zaner-Bloser starting in September. Still in the publishing world.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope.

Did you encounter the police?
Nope.

Where did you go on vacation?
In May, I went to Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon, and Phoenix. In June, July, August, and September, I went to Chicago. In November, I went to Philadelphia.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
My digital SLR camera.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Holly & Robert. I photographed the wedding.

You know anybody who passed away?
Grandpa Davis.

Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
I talk to Andy all the time.

Did you move anywhere?
Yes, I moved out of the house on Bauer St., into my own place in Clintonville.

What sporting events did you go to?
None.

What concerts did you go to?
I saw Bob Dylan in Ft. Wayne, IN, and I saw him in Philadelphia, PA. In addition, I popped in on a Tony Lucca gig that was local.

Are you registered to vote?
Yes.

If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
It’s not a duty to me. It’s a privilege and an honor. And yes, I did vote.

Where do you live now?
Columbus, OH (Clintonville neighborhood)

What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
See Wicked!!!

What is one thing you regretted this year?
Spending too much money. Bah.

What’s something you learned about yourself?
I guess I’m a lot braver than I thought.

Any new additions to your family?
No.

What was your best month?
June, and September.

What from pop culture will you remember 2006 by?
– Justin bringing SexyBack. Oh my.
– Actually LIKING the damn Paris Hilton song (Stars Are Blind).
– Britney’s crotch. Double oh my.
– TomKat madness. Oh help.

How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (lousy) to 10 (excellent)?
I’m going to have to say a 7.85.

* * *

IN 2006 HAVE I:

Hugged someone? Of course!!
Gotten into a fight? Yes.
Cried? Yes, far too much.
Smoked? A bit.
Drank alcohol? Yes.
Kissed someone on the cheek? Yes.
Reunited with an old friend? Yes.
Been suspended? No.
Let something go? Yes.
Been whipped? No. Unfortunately. ;)
Learned any important lessons? Yes.
Got a kiss on the cheek? Yes.
Kissed someone on the lips? Yes.
Considered suicide? Not seriously.
Cut/dyed your hair drastically? No.
Flirted? Sure.
Been backstabbed? Yes.
Missed someone? Yes.
Hit someone? Oh yeah. >:)
Broken something really important to you? Yes.
Cuddled with someone? Yes.
Broken somebody’s heart? Yes.
Done something you really regretted? Don’t even get me started.
Laughed so hard that it hurt? Yes.
Cried so hard that it hurt? Yes. Too often.
Got cheated on? I hope not.
Gone on a date? No.
Got dumped? Yes, by some “friends.”
Dumped someone? No. More like stepped back for a bit.
Made a new screen name? Yes.
Lost a friend? Yes.
Gotten any tattoos/piercing? No. Dammit.
Watched porn? Hell no.
Been in a love/hate relationship? Eh?
Loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes.
Been grounded? Nope, LOL.

FRIENDS:
Lost: I’m not going to list them because it doesn’t matter anymore.
Drifted: Can’t really say because friendships are so static.
Found: Adam, my writing friends. Friendships with others have grown deeper, like with Rosa, and Wanda.

Me & Adam Me & Mandy Group Shot

BODY:
Weight: Went up five to ten pounds. I’m now 115-120lbs. Eep.
Piercing/tattoos: N/A
Height: 5′2″ ish.
Hair: Short.

STUDIES:
N/A

BAD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– As if I’m going to admit them here. >:)

GOOD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– Grand Canyon.
– Chicago, a lot.
– Bob Dylan.
– Raised Aidan.
– Debt management program (that means I can accumulate no more debt!)
– Taken a HUGE step.
– Got a new job.
– Traveled a lot.
– Let go.

THINGS I HOPE TO DO IN 2007:
– Sell my novel.
– Finish a new novel.
– Go back to a Disney park.

Happy New Year!!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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There are some things I expected to happen, but still hurt a bit.
People shunning me because of the choices I’ve made.
“Friends” who don’t want to speak to me or him because they’re afraid we’ll somehow “taint” them and their “perfect little Christian” relationships.

Then there are the wonderful surprises.
Unconditional love from family members, regardless of the circumstances.
Unconditional love and support from friends all over.
The ocassional feelings of peace that wash over me.

Then there are the unexpected painful things.
Crying over what should have been but will never be.
Guilt for taking charge of my own life.
Fear over what will happen.
Denial that this is my life now, and that I chose it.

This whole thing is a mixed bag of feelings. Relief, pain, hurt, shame, disappointment, fear, happiness, peace, doubt, excitement, guilt, surrealness.

But I will go on. And it’ll be okay.

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Well, just call me the journal collector, I suppose.

———–


I’ve been sitting here and shaking my right leg for at least an
hour now, I’ll bet. Yes. I am indeed antsy here.

So many things going on. Time is flying, but then again, it’s crawling. Autumn will be here soon. Before I even know it.

And I’m looking forward to it. I always do before the SAD kicks in. September is one of my favorite months. Pretty blue sky. Perfect weather. That little bite in the air. The leaves.

Today, I am wearing a fall-like outfit. Brown. Lots of brown. I just felt in the mood.

You know what’s beautiful? This:


I dare you to disagree.

———–


I don’t know why I can’t seem to remember that eating only Doritos and chocolate for lunch is a bad idea. It really sounded okay at the time, but I am certainly paying for it now. Ugh.

———–


I often wonder if I’ll be able to truly relax. There is so much on my mind right now. So many things to be anxious about, to worry about. It’s really silly, because some of the things that I get all flustered about, I can’t really DO anything about except be patient. So, while trying to be patient, I sit here and shake my right leg.

———–


Here’s the problem. I spend too much time waiting for things, rather than living in the moment. I get to work around 8am, and I spend all morning waiting for lunch, then I wait all afternoon for the workday to end. Then I get into my car, and wait at traffic lights and stop signs to get home. All week, I wait for the weekend to get here.

At this moment, I’m waiting for:
– the end of the workday;
– the weekend;
– ANYTHING from my agent on the status of the book I sent him last month;
– my trip to Chicago;
– a bunch of other stuff I dare not mention here.

When something happens that requires me to be in the moment, it’s hard for me to do it. I actually have to FORCE myself to stop and stay present. Else I’ll drift. Either to the next thing, or into my dreamworld.

———–

I am TIRED.


(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Reflections and All That Stuff

So…

I had a fun New Year’s Weekend. Lots of updates here, at my other journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/lilrongal/294169.html

Looking Back at 2005:
– I met Lauren laurenbarnholdt and Mandy mandywriter and loads of other writing people.
– I joined SCBWI.
– I started sending query letters.
– I took an online writing course called YA Chicklit 101
– I got to talk to a really great agent.
– I got the chance to work hard on my writing and improve it.
– I read two amazing books: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen and Pop Princess by Rachel Cohn.
– I became a HUGE Sarah Dessen fan.

Looking Forward to in 2006:
– I want to finish writing at least one novel.
– I want to read and read.
– I want to write, and write.
– I want to do what I can to advance my writing career. Okay, okay… make one come into fruition. ;)

And my butt hurts. So ’til next time… :)

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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