whining

Up and Down

Today, I woke up with a headache and a general feeling of BLAH. Many factors contributed to the blahness and I was cranky and irritable at work. Some of the factors were:

– I woke up with a headache and felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I was tired and knew I had a long day ahead.
– I found out that Friday, someone was mugged at gunpoint right down the street from me at 5:45pm. If I hadn’t worked late Friday, I probably would have been that victim, as I am usually in the exact spot the mugging happened at 5:45pm. The person posted a community watch and described the car, and this morning, I saw a parked car matching the description as I walked to work. That shook me up, and now I’m scared to walk that way to and from the train for work. :(
– I was kind of expecting the trains to be fairly empty as today was a holiday, but the platform was more packed than ever. Two trains had to go by before there was room for me to get on.
– I got irritated at work because someone came over and pointed out one thing I’d missed Friday. On Friday, I’d worked late and I’d proofed about 30 pages total. That’s a LOT. And to get one mistake pointed out to me was annoying because it was a first read. I wanted to say “Well, duh, that’s why we have 2nd reads.” But I bit my tongue because I knew that I was extra cranky and possibly extra sensitive.
– Last night, Helena got on my laptop keyboard and popped off the question mark key. She’d popped off the 3 a while ago. Adam took the laptop to a computer store to find out that I’ll need to get the entire keyboard replaced. Blargh.
– The weather is poopy. Cold and rainy. Ick.

The good things were that:

– I tried a Quizno’s sub for the first time in years and it was very yummy. I got roast beef and cheddar, and I enjoyed it immensely.
– I got some freelance work for Loyola to do over the weekend; I haven’t done anything for them since the summer. I like the work a lot and the extra money will be good.
– Adam came to get me from work and I showed him around the office and introduced him to a few people. We sang the Hannah Montana theme song in the empty elevator. (Did I mention that I absolutely ♥ Hannah Montana?) Then he took me to dinner to Italian Village where I had a yummy dinner and an AMAZING dessert.
– I got to see Joan Baez in concert tonight. Her voice is like a bell and she’s awesome. I cracked up when she made fun of Bob Dylan during Love Is A Four-Letter Word. I loved when she sang Scarlet Tide (one of her new songs), and she sang Imagine which was amazing. Her rendition of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot nearly had me in tears, and everyone sang Amazing Grace which was incredible. If you ever have the chance to see her in concert, DO IT.
– We rode in a taxi home–no walking in the bitter cold.
– I hooked my laptop up to the monitor and keyboard and mouse, so it’s like I’m using a desktop again. It feels weird.
– Andy extended my warranty on my laptop, so I will be able to get the keyboard replaced with hopefully very little hassle.
– I just got my pay statement notification. YAY payday!
– I’m going to bed soon. Mmm, sleep.

The Al B. Sure single I mentioned a few days ago? I found it on a Web site called metromix, and I got it for $5. I’m so excited. I now just need a turntable to play it on, and a way to convert those songs to digital form. Still, how lucky is that? $5! :)

Anyway, I need to take my medicine so I can go back to feeling happy and come away from feeling poopy. I don’t like feeling poopy. It’s not fun.

Good night!

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Can’t Get Comfy :(

Aidan is in bed. I am headed there myself with a book and something to drink. Actually, Adam came up with this really refreshing drink that I love. Just mix cranberry-raspberry juice with lemon-lime pop. It’s so yummy. So I’m going to take some of that with me.

So, my dilemma is that I am simply not comfortable. If the AC is on, I start freezing and my throat and ears hurt badly. But if the AC is off, then I get really warm. Not nicely warm, either. I don’t know if it’s because I’m obviously not 100% this weekend, or if I really do have such a narrow range of temperatures that I feel comfortable in. (FTR, it’s like 72-84 degrees F).

If I take a Psuedovent, I will be up all night. Worrying about things that I either can’t control, or things that I can’t deal with at that time anyway. We don’t want that. I put Aidan to bed at 9:15, so he’ll be up early tomorrow. (Or maybe not, he’s in his room squeaking now.) I need my rest to deal with his billion weird questions tomorrow. So what do I do? I feel like I’m kind of stuck. *sigh* Oh well.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Whatever

Ugh. Today is DRAGGING. At 9:30 this morning, it felt like it should have been lunchtime.

The city smelled extra bad this morning. Periodically, the air will just… reek, like a toilet or something. Today was one of those days, and ick.

Work is uncomfortable today. I’m too warm, which RARELY happens, and all I’ve been doing all day is checking off vocabulary words. My mind is about to melt from the boredom. My pages are due tomorrow, I REALLY hope they come in. When I have something that’s challenging, the day goes much more quickly, and I feel like I’m contributing a lot more. As of now, I cannot check off another vocabulary list.

It’s a slow email day, a slow work day, a slow, slow day. But I bet that once the clock hits 4:15pm, the time will speeeeeed up. >:(

Word of Advice: Never start reading a really good book during lunch. The afternoon will take that much longer to pass.

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Over The Moon

I’ve about had it with this apartment complex.

1. Friday night/Saturday morning, some jerk decided he needed to do his car repairs right then. Right outside my bedroom window. He revved his engine for an hour and a half. From 12:30 to 2:00am.

2. The lady across the hall asked me if she could use my phone. When I told her I was going to bed and that I needed to talk to Adam before I did so, she stood in the hall and yelled that I was a “damned liar” before going into her apartment and slamming the door.

3. The neighbor downstairs no longer has his loud sexfests because he and his girlfriend broke up, but he still blasts crappy music for 90 to 120 minutes almost every evening while he works out. His work out grunts sound like sex sounds.

4. The lady across the hall also stands at her door and yells “SHUT THAT DAMN NOISE” for no reason. I don’t hear any sounds. There is no way she can hear me typing on my computer. But she’ll stand there and yell and yell and yell. It’s really annoying. The management won’t do anything about it. They’ve tried but now, I think they just figure we have to deal with her.

5. Let’s not forget the chronic door slammer.

6. … and the really stinky apartment (I’m pretty sure it’s the door slammer’s.). It’s so bad that the management had to put those automatic air freshener things in the hall.

Ugh.

Boo.

Blah.

How long ’til I move to Chicago?

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More Rambling (Picture)

Went to the Rose Festival yesterday.

Here’s one of the roses I took a picture of:

Burst

Tried to settle down for the free concert at the gazebo, but I guess I’m just not into barbershop-quartet-sounding stuff. And I’m pretty sure the couple I was sitting next to on the lawn were my loud sexing neighbors.

Lately, I’ve been doing this thing where if I am in a big crowd of people, especially something like a concert, I try to find other black people. There were none at the concert, except for a couple of little kids who were with white adults. There were Asians there, though. I never really noticed before just HOW MUCH of a minority I am. Suddenly, I’m hyper aware of it. I also tried to see if there were other people sitting alone. Me and some older guy were pretty much it. Everyone else was with families or in couples.

I felt that I really stuck out (plus I didn’t care for the music!), so I left.

When I was in high school, people called me an “oreo.” While they all listened to whatever hip-hop act was the biggest, I was totally into New Kids on the Block, Martika, and pop crossover acts like Paula Abdul, Milli Vanilli (yeah, I said it), and Bobby Brown. The thing is, I just listened to what I liked, not what I thought everyone felt I should like. A lot of people hated that.

I remember hearing this every single time I dressed DECKED the hell out in NKOTB gear—buttons, tee-shirts, watch, etc.:

student: You like New Kids on the Block?
me: Yes.
student: I heard they was gay.
me (thinking): Oh God, here we go again.
student: I heard one of them had to get his stomach pumped because there was sperm in it.

I realize that 1989–1993 was a different time as far as GLBT rights and stuff, but seriously, what does it matter if they *were* gay??

And… and… I don’t know about you, but how many people do you know had to go to the HOSPITAL from swallowing????

But that wasn’t all, folks. Oh no. People called me albino, they would pull me aside and ask: what color is you?. Hello? Wasn’t it obvious that I was a golden-beige? If Cover Girl can make a perfect powder match for my skin tone, then it should be clear what “color” I is.

I was an anomaly. They couldn’t understand me, couldn’t place me or label me, so they all assumed I was trying to “pass” (they were right, except that those really WERE my interests—it’s not like I was faking or anything). Some people would have this whole vendetta of “bringing me down” because in their minds I thought, with my light skin and eyes, that I was better than the darker-skinned people. They had no idea that junior high school had already destroyed my self-confidence (being called “horse nose” and “ironing board chest” and also being told to your face “you IS ugly” does that to a person), that I was a social retard, and that I was barely hanging on day-by-day in that hellhole of a high school. They also had no idea that I worked in a place where no matter what tone my skin was, I may as well have been black as the night as far as they were concerned, because those certain white people hated me that much. The irony of it was that my skin was actually lighter than theirs.

High school wasn’t all bad, mind you. But college was so much better—at least before the depression hit late 1997–early 1998.

ANYWAY….
Back to the weekend. I spent a lot of time reading Harry Potter books (out of order, just because). Getting myself primed for the new movie and new book next month. Over the weekend, I read Chamber of Secrets and I’m halfway through Goblet of Fire. Not sure if I’ll tackle Prisoner of Azkabhan or Order of the Phoenix next.

Things I’ve realized over the weekend:

1. Olive oil is NOT cheap.
2. No matter how much I try to cut writing out of my life, it keeps trying to sneak in.
3. Aidan’s obsessed with the Powerpuff Girls movie.
4. Shrek 1 really is better than Shrek 2.
5. JK Rowling is an effing genious, piss on the haters.
6. Sauteeing spinach is EASY and it tastes so yummy, thus making the purchase of olive oil definitely worth it. Yes, I’m craving it at 10am.
7. I make almost $7K below the mean of salaries in the U.S. and quite frankly, with rising costs EVERYWHERE, it feels like I make a lot less.

I’m working on slowly switching over the foods in my place with more healthy things. Part of the reason is that Kelloggs has once again decided not to sell a snack of mine in a readily available place (I’m pretty sure Wal-mart threatened all the stores again), so now I have to find other things to snack on. I bought golden delicious apples, peanut-butter/chocolate-chip rice cakes, purple grapes (Aidan’s choice) and red grades (my choice), fresh spinach (see #6 above), strawberries, and some snow peas which I will make tomorrow. I also decided to go with brown rice for now. I plan to switch to wild rice soon. Ultrametabolism is way too extreme for me, but I can work on snacking better and eating better.

Right now, my weakness is still Kool-Aid, and I crave chocolate constantly. Light chocolate snacks, like Rice Krispie Treats which no longer exist unless I buy a stupid variety pack which is mostly those stupid ORIGINAL ones. I still enjoy bacon way too much. But I’m going to finish off the bacon I have and then try not to buy anymore. It’s too expensive anyway. Or expenfis, as Aidan would say.

I’m sad because I think I’m going to have to give up publishing when I move to Chicago, and go back to being an administrative assistant. 🙁 Finding freelance work is next to impossible for a newbie with no money trying to break in.

adamselzer dyed his hair red. He told me that I was allowed to try to talk him out of it, but I didn’t because:
1. He’s a grown-ass man.
2. It’s HIS hair.
3. It’ll wash out in six weeks.

Got a roast beef sammich on wheat with mustard for lunch. Yummy.

Later.

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