I decided I wanted something a bit different for my LJ. It’s still one of their layouts (cause I’m lazy like that), but I like it okay.

Got my 3rd job rejection today. I’m doing really well, aren’t I? No wonder people give up on job searches. It’s not worth it when I’m not even getting INTERVIEWS. Bah. I must face it. I’m stuck. And I suck. I’ll never be good enough to anyone to move on, so I’ll be here, doing this forever. What a depressing thought.

What is it with everyone wanting to be fulfilled by their jobs anyway? I’m sure those working the same job for 50 years fashioning rivets weren’t fulfilled. They didn’t make their careers/jobs their identity. They did what they had to do to get food on the table. I hate thinking that I have to resort to that. I spend SO MUCH TIME at work, is it fair that I have to feel worthless 95% of the time? I just have to try not to be jealous of those who love their jobs and who get paid at least twice as much as I do to do something they LOVE. Why is it this way? I have a college degree, and yet, I’m being told I’m not talented enough for jobs that require only high school diplomas. How does this make sense? I have years and years of experience, but there are these jerks who have better credentials than me jumping in and pushing me out, and it’s so competitive out there. I picked the wrong dang major in college and totally screwed myself. Now, I’m no one special. I don’t stand out. So, why should I even try anymore?

It smells like old pizza on our floor because people don’t believe in picking up after themselves. I mean, for goodness sake, the pizza was here on Wednesday. Get with it folks. Gross.

Oh yeah, I forgot one more crappy thing that happened. My favorite sunglasses broke. Luckily, not the sexy glasses. No, those I just can’t find. But my driving ones are broken. I’m fortunate it’s been overcast the past few days.

I’m looking forward to Vegas. Now that it’s really close, I’m getting excited. I need to get away. I’ve been a right bitch the past few days and I’ve been taking it all out on Chris. :( I just need to… regroup or something.

Hopefully, the retreat advance tonight will get me focused on something other than my patheticness. Okay, I know those of you lovely people commented and told me that I’m NOT pathetic, and maybe I believe this deep down. But it’s those little things again. Those little fiery darts that are piercing me and burning away a little more at my confidence each day. And I’m going to say “little” a few more time to be really annoying.

little little little little little

Anyway. I think I’m going to eat McDonalds. Because I’m allowed to have it today. And it’s going to be good. Dang it.

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