Day: February 8, 2005


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Stuff and Contemplation

I can’t seem to dip below ten emails that need attention in my AOL mailbox. Everytime I clear one away, two or three more pop up in its place! So, I’m a little bit behind. Megan and Ashlee, forgive me! You’re flagged for follow-up.

I’m exhausted. Emotionally and physically. Anger is a pretty intense emotion. I’m not a fan of feeling it. I think I’m most comfortable somewhere between sad and really effing depressed, with a little anxiety/stress thrown in. And happiness. Ay yi yi. Feeling true happiness is so strange for me.

Counseling today was mostly EMDR. My thoughts go kind of crazy during EMDR. Emotions and thoughts are all over the place. It’s draining but was fun during the “think of things that make Ronni happy” part.

My throat is not happy. It’s kind of scratchy. I could go for a long sleep, but I have sort of a long evening ahead. I’m considering not even stopping at home; if I go there, I’m not leaving! And I have Grove stuff to do tonight.

Have you ever wondered…

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Boy, you still look pretty when you’re putting the damage on…

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Sore throat, sore heart

Sore heart is too poetic, actually. More like fucking pissed the hell off heart, but that’s something best not discussed here or ever, actually. ‘Cause it’s not like bringing it to that person’s attention will make any bit of difference–I doubt that person even senses I’m pissed and I am 100% sure this person doesn’t give a flying shit.

AND it’ll pass. It always does.

My throat hurts. It’s scratchy, so I’m probably getting sick. How much does that suck? LOADS.

And Rob, my brother from another mother, is going out of town and won’t be back til Thursday. How will I manage?

At least I got to see him tonight. Meet The Fockers was still cute 2nd time around–Dustin Hoffman is adorable. Who can not love his character? And who can not love going to a theater on a Monday night and having almost the whole thing to ourselves? Just me, Tyler, Rob, and Bizz. And some other random people. Didn’t know them. Heh.

Website stuff for the Grove. Should be fun. I hope, anyway. Could say more there, but won’t.

Must remember to take laptop with me tomorrow.

Starving. As usual. My body is ready to revert to night owl mode. (What do you mean revert? I’ve been in this mode for a long time now). Will have big breakfast tomorrow. Maybe McDonalds. And for lunch too. And why not? Dinner. Haha, I doubt I eat that much, but seriously. I’m giving it up for Lent. It’s Mardi fucking Gras. I need to indulge!

Dang it. Everyone’s asleep. I could use one of my privvy friends right now. But eh. Whatever. I’ll deal.

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