I am officially sick again. I went to the doctor today and he said that I have an upper respiratory infection, and wrote me an excuse for today and tomorrow. So I’ll be staying home again. Aidan is going with his grandmother for 1/2 day so I can get some rest. Chris hinted that it was unfair for me to engage a “sitter” when I’m not going to work. It’s not like I’m sitting here and partying, though. I’m resting so I can feel better. Aidan and I will probably sleep all afternoon anyway. At least, I hope that’s the case.
I don’t have much of an appetite at all. From time to time I get a craving for something fast-food and fried, but I squash it. I have a headache that comes and goes. Coughing fits. I feel very weak and shaky. The doctor put me on lots and lots of antibiotics and special cough medicine pills–the same stuff I had in December. Aidan and I slept for four hours this evening. He’s still very sick too. But when we give him his Tylenol with codeine, he turns into normal Aidan for all of fifteen minutes before he is cranky and crying again. Poor little booba.
The soldier that lives behind us came home from Iraq over the weekend. He’s like a year early. I was going to Bible Study on Sunday when I noticed the flags on the street and the big welcome home sign for him.
american idol spoiler
I can’t fight it. I’ve got the urge to write again. Anything. Letters, poems, fiction. Something. I need to be writing.
So here I am, writing. Again.
It doesn’t matter that it’s after 1am and I’m dead tired from lack of good sleep. The boys got in at 1:10am Tuesday morning. I had to get them from the airport. Aidan was miserable. He held on to me for dear life. We got home around 2ish and we all went to bed shortly after. Aidan fell asleep in Chris’s arms. Since Aidan was with him, Chris did not put on his machine. His snoring kept me up so I moved to the other room. At about probably 5am, Aidan woke up and started crying for me. Chris gave him to me. Aidan stayed up crying til about 7. I was up with him, and finally we fell into a fitful 2.5 hour sleep.
Tuesday was rough. I was tired. We took Aidan back to the doctor because he had yet another fever. He’d been running them on and off for days and days. I found out what the problem most likely was, and it was my fault, and I feel so guilty. The doctor told me not to worry, it happens all the time. But I didn’t want it to happen to Aidan and now he’s sick and in pain and it’s all because of me.
Aidan is sick. I’m sick. I get these coughing fits that make me want to puke because I’m coughing so much. I nearly cry because I’m so frustrated at all the coughing with nothing to do about it. I’m out of control–just like I’m out of control of so much in my life.
I’ve seen so many movies over the past few days. Tommy Boy (great reliving it), Undercover Brother (I blend in like a good weave), Hitch (GO SEE IT NOW) just to name a few.
I need to reiterate how much I love Rob and Bizzy. Seeing them at least three times a week has become a regular thing for me. I can’t imagine what I did witih all of my time before. Actually, I can, and it involves playing around on this here computer.
Uh oh. Aidan is crying now. Looks like another long night for me. Another day off if I don’t get enough rest, and another day my boss gets to be pissed off at me. I guess I can’t help it that my little one comes first and this winter has been a rough one for me.