Day: August 22, 2005

I Love Aidan! (Pictures)


Today, I did a mini photo shoot. Aidan was eating cookies, and in a good mood, and willing to be photographed. Of course, his mommy is a scrapbooker, so he’s kind of used to it. :)

I’ve decided that I have the best little boy in the world. He is a miracle. Everyday I ask God what I did to deserve such a wonderful son.

Aidan is about 32 months old now. He’ll be three soon! He’s such a joy, and he’s so entertaining and smart.

Aidan is already a lady’s man. He can work any crowd at any party (once he gets over his initial reservations). He now speaks in FULL sentences!

“Mommy, get out here!”
“Go away, Daddy.”
“I love you, Mommy.”
“I watch Dora!”
“I need Fruity Pebbles!”
“I burped too!”
“I do it again!”
“Oh, a giant A!!”
“Here you go, Mommy.”
“That’s MaMaw’s water, Mommy.”
“I go in Daddy’s car!”
“Oh, little baby kitty.”

He has amazing curly hair, gigantic gorgeous eyes (of a color which I cannot determine), and the cutest laugh. I LOVE to hear him laugh. I love to hug him and cuddle him. He gives me infinite kisses all day. He pats my cheek when he is sleepy and cuddy.

My heart soars when I go to pick him up after work and I hear him yelling “My mommy! My mommy!” I grab him and cover him with kisses, and he puts his little hand on my cheek. I hold on to him for dear life.

Sometimes he runs from me laughing so I can chase him! And I trick him. He goes around the bend, and I catch him from the other direction. I grab him and cover him with kisses and raspberries, and he laughs and laughs and laughs.

He opens my cell phone, and notes the picture of him that I use for my wallpaper. “That’s me!” he yells, grinning. And I marvel that he knows pronouns already.

Today, I was eating dinner and there was some really weird noise outside. “What is that?” I asked. Aidan came tearing into the kitchen and peeped out the door; a nosy neighbor in the makings. “It’s an airplane,” he said. (It wasn’t, but it was cute that he guessed!)

He has the cutest little expressions and intonations in his voice. He is silly and definitely a clown. He is smiling more often than not, which makes ME smile.

He has a favorite outfit. His Elmo baseball shirt (he insists it’s a basketball shirt) and matching jean shorts. He gets it out of the dirty clothes every single evening and puts it on. “I do it!” he sings. He gets it on and puts the clothes he had been wearing into the laundry basket. “It’s dirty now, Mommy.”

He screams bloody murder when I go to rinse his hair during a bath. “NO MOMMY!!!! NOOOOO!! WAH!!!”

Sometimes he demands privacy when he’s on the potty. “Get out, Mommy.”

He often can’t make up his mind.

Aidan: I need oatmeal.
Me: You need oatmeal?
Aidan: Deh. (his way of saying “yes”).
Me: What kind? Strawberry, blueberry, banana, or peach?”
Aidan: Bawbaywe.
Me: Okay, strawberry oatmeal.
Me: But you said–
Aidan: NOOO!

Five minutes later…

Aidan: I need oatmeal.

Every morning, I try to sneak a kiss on his cheek. It’s easier if he’s in bed with us; he’s right there. It’s trickier when I try to go into his room. Sometimes the door creeks which causes him to stir. I tip-toe out, wishing I could curl up next to him and hold him and smell his curls. I go to work, turn on my computer, and there he is, the background on my screen, reminding me why I am there. To provide the best I can for my little boy.

He’s grown so much and changed so much–I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t have documentation…

Words can’t even describe how much I adore my little boy. I look at him and I’m amazed that he’s MY son. That I am his mommy and that I helped grow him in a sense. Sometimes I wonder what God was thinking, entrusting me with this precious soul. But then, I can’t imagine him with any other mommy.

He is truly a miracle. :)


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For the first time in months, I logged into the Members Only page of Romance Writers of America. I am currently checking out the agent listings. There are so many to query and I know I need to get on the ball if I want to sell my novel.

Reading their guidelines and such really gets me excited. I work in a publishing company. I read YA/Teen Chicklit by the dozens. I’m immersed in this culture, but something keeps holding me back.

I have a lot of fear. I want this so badly, but I’m scared of it too. I’m scared that I won’t be able to write another decent novel. I’m scared that everyone will think this one sucks. I’m scared that my book will be on the 1.99 table at Barnes & Noble. Yikes.

I’m scared my novel will sell millions of copies and I’ll end up on that New York Times Bestselling list. My life will CHANGE. Am I ready?

(Am I just dreaming?)

In a few weeks, I will be Boy Free again. Chris is going to Arizona and such, and Aidan is going with my mom. I’ll have plenty of time to get to work on selling this thing. And make some progress in my currents WIPs (YES, it’s plural now)!

The ideas are flooding my brain, but I get stuffed and blocked and find it hard to sit down and let them flow. I’m always concerned about the audience. The reason ONLY YOURS was done so quickly is that I was so depressed that I didn’t care what anyone else thought. That was my escape, my emotions, my heart. I finished ONLY YOURS in approxiamately seven months. I want that again–that feeling of writing because I CANNOT stop. I need to push that block away.

I need to ignore all of these feelings of being overwhelmed, and let go. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Love it.

Oh Lord. I am babbling. I’m outta here.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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