We interrupt this blog for a test of the dorkilicious dorkity dork system.

This is only a test.


One of the chores I hate the most is putting away my Christmas decorations. For one thing, it’s work, which sucks, but another thing, I’m packing away all my pretty things for another many months. See, I have a little secret.

I cannot decorate worth a damn.

No. Seriously. I really suck at it. Adam did most of the decorating that’s in our apartment. He did most of the painting, he hangs the art, he deals with the furniture. My contributions? Calendars and dolls, and my little corner with the desk. The only time I do halfway OK with decorating? Christmas. And that doesn’t get to stay up all year. It doesn’t matter that I play on Pinterest all the time, or that I am addicted to watching HGTV. I still have no decorating sense. Or class.

Just last night, I was watching a show on HGTV with my friend Jen. These rich people in Texas or somewhere–their entire first floor flooded while they were on vacation, so they called in this designer. Their tastes were definitely above mine. The leopard print carpet on the stairs? I totally would slide down that on my butt. The big horse statue/sculpture thingy? I’d climb on it and take a picture. I told Jen that if/when I ever became super, duper rich, my house would NOT look like that ’cause it’s just like me. I’d hope I wouldn’t be obvious “new money,” but that old, rich, dark stuff is not my favorite.

so not my style

Another thing I don’t get is people’s obsession with “outdated” this and that. I couldn’t care less if my appliances are stainless steel or not. If they’re functional (and the stove is gas), then I’m good to go. Granite countertops? Not necessary. I mean, yes, all that stuff is really pretty and it would be nice to have, but it’s not a deal breaker for me if I don’t have it. (And I don’t.)

When I watch those shows and I watch how picky people get over things, I kinda want to giggle. Adam and I have a pretty big apartment by Chicago’s standards, especially for what we’re paying. But it’s not *gigantic* or anything. It was hard for me to downsize, and we still struggle with storage space. I once lived in a 2300 square foot house, then I lived in a 450 square foot two bedroom apartment alone before moving here. I’m also a pack rat. Poor Adam. The sheer amount of STUFF that came with me overwhelmed him greatly. Poor guy. But we got it under control (sort of).

We don’t plan on moving for a while, but if we did, here are my must haves:

two bedrooms
two bathrooms
air conditioning (this is more for Adam’s sake than my sake)
gas stove
cat friendly
close to public transporation

Here are my “nice-to-haves”:

hardwood flooring
walk-in closets
porch or stoop
close to downtown

And this list is my “it’d be cool if it was there but if not, I’ll be fine, and I’m certainly not going to pursue it” stuff:

stainless steel appliances
granite countertops
master bedroom that has its own bathroom
Jacuzzi soaking tub in that master bathroom

So there you have it. I’d like to think I’m easy to please when it comes to living spaces, but I don’t know. I haven’t actually seriously looked for a place to live since 2006. And moving’s such a pain in the butt that I’m OK not looking for now. It’s when I watch endless House Hunters and House Hunters International marathons that I get like this, you know. Will I stop watching them? NOPE. THANK YOU.

this is more like it

And that was a random insight into my dorkiness. It really wasn’t a test. I just didn’t want you to panic.

You’re welcome.

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