Wow. I’m really, really tired. By the time yoga teacher training would down today, I was like “Guh guh guh.” I don’t know if it’s the weather, my hormones (probably my hormones), or just a general feeling of “blah” creeping over the city of Chicago. All I know is that it’s icky.

I’m totally tempted to just go to bed now, but I have a long day tomorrow and I don’t want to nap now and end up wide awake in the middle of the night, then fall asleep at 545am only to be awakened too early because some IDIOT is hammering outside.

(There should be a law. No one should ever be allowed to hammer before 10am. It’s just rude!)

OK, now it’s many hours later. Aidan’s dad got an iPod touch, and Aidan’s figured out how to use Facetime to call me. He’s been calling me every night to Facetime and it’s been neat. He can show me things he’s talking about and vice versa. It’s also nice to see his face. Tonight, he called while I was writing this entry, therefore giving me something to do instead of going to bed way too early.

Here’s something really cool. Aidan is on Honor Roll, and he just got his best report card EVER. He’s getting awards left and right. He said he loves school and apparently he is thriving there. I’m excited for him and I hope he continues to love school and learning as much as he does now. Unfortunately, I peaked in third grade and things went downhill from there. I hope that’s not the case with Aidan. At any rate, now I have a bonafied excuse to give him surprises and to do something special for him! :)

Teacher training was hard for me today. I was already moody (although getting an entire train car from Chicago to Division was pretty neat). I got to the stuido later than usual and ended up way in the back when I usually sit in the front. I don’t like sitting in the back. It makes me tired and I feel less connected. I feel like I’m lost in the shuffle. I had different teaching partners which was nice, but I did miss Christine. I was fatigued and I just could NOT get on track with the teaching practice! I know I’m new and I can’t expect to be perfect (heck, even teachers with many years of experience mess up sometimes!), but today I felt like it was especially awkward.

I know what was weird for me. Today, I actually taught a small group (OK, two people) instead of just one. I got all discombobulated because:

1.) I was teaching some poses I’d never taught before. (Although that never tripped me up quite as much as it did today.)
2.) It was WEIRD telling people to do moves and having them silently do them. I got all insecure like “Oh my God, I hope they don’t think I’m dumb. Oh God, what comes next? I can’t remember! Where are my notes? AH HELP! Oh boy, I am doing terribly at this!”

How in the world do I get over that feeling? I guess I have 12 months to figure it out.

And then there is the food. We talk a LOT about food every week, and part of the curriculum is to watch Supersize Me and Food, Inc. You know who’s thrilled about that? Adam. (Not really.) He already knows I have food issues, he already knows how hard it is to keep me fed. I’m pretty sure this journey is going to be a challenge when it comes to eating. It already is in some aspects. So the thought of dealing with *that* is making me tired.

And all the racism stuff. My head aches from everything that’s been going on. Like the Hunger Games. The number of people upset that some of the characters in the movie AND book were black is sad and disturbing (because hello, can’t they read?), but not necessarily shocking for me. Yeah, it bothers me, but honestly, I’m used to being part of a world where some people think I am less than and will do everything in their power to make sure I stay that way. The attitudes of some people, and their vehement denial about life in this country for minorities don’t surprise me, but their absolute unwillingness to open their minds just the tiniest amount so they can listen and learn instead of trying to point the finger and place blame on others really bugs me. I have a lot of things to say about it, but I think I’ll save it for another post. Not in the mood to get too deep tonight.

I know what I need. I need some sun combined with warmer temps, hugs from Aidan (coming Friday YAY!), and a massage. A good sleep (without wailing cats, loud sexing neighbors, an overactive bladder, and random people pounding with hammers to wake me up) would be nice, too (but that’s not going to happen).

At least tomorrow I will see family, eat sushi, and make some $$. Oh and it’s payday. Woohoo!

OK, bedtime.

‘Til next time.

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