and forward.

March, please be good to me

My last entry was a bit big downer. I’m owning it. I’d love to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but alas. I’m only human, and my humanness sometimes comes with gloom and pettiness and big old blahs.

All that stuff from my last entry, plus stuff I won’t disclose, has worn me OUT. My bones feel heavy and achy (which better not be the flu coming back), and my brain is like “muh?” Emotional, physical, and energetic exhaustion, and it’s only two months into 2018.


D O N E .

…but even when I’m tired, even when I think I’m D O N E, sometimes a little flame, a touch of spunk, rears its little head.

It’s March 1! A new month. A chance to wipe the slate clean {again}. It’s a month of renewal, of change, of new possibilities. Am I brave enough to embrace it? To dream, to hope?

There are things to look forward to. It’s my best friend’s birthday month (yay Rena!). It’s Charlotte’s birthday month. The Spring Equinox. LOVE, SIMON and A WRINKLE IN TIME hit cinemas.

The weather will start warming up (in theory). It’ll be my ten year anniversary of moving to Chicago. Aidan’s spring break comes at the end of the month.

🌷 SPRING!!!!!! 🌷

February and January were challenging, but I’m still here. I’m STILL HERE.

It’s time to make March my bitch.



Sitting in the captains chair enjoying the day. #chillin #nofilter

Last weekend, I drove out to Stonehouse Farm to have a relaxing weekend away from the city. I knew the weather would be beautiful even with some cool nights, but I was staying in a yurt (with electricity) so I knew I would be OK.

The drive out was fantastic. No traffic, and once I got out of the city, the roads were clear. My favorite kind of driving. Empty country roads and my music. It was perfect.

I got to Stonehouse about 115pm last Friday, and helped out a bit there. I cleaned the general store and then I watched the gardeners plant flowers. (I tend to avoid planting things. I am not so good with plants.) It was so pretty out there. The weather was mild, the sun was out, and the sky was bright blue. My favorite kind of day. There were wildflowers and dandelions everywhere. I think they’re pretty, but I know most people don’t care for them.







I got a chance to see honey bees being transported to their new home! I even wore a bee suit. That’s something I never thought I’d get to do. It’s not even something that even crossed my radar. But it was really cool.





Honey right off the comb is the purest, sweetest thing imaginable.

Later, we all went out to dinner, and that night, I turned in to the sounds of nature at night and stars twinkling in the sky.


Saturday was a lot of relaxing, reading, writing, napping, sunning myself, and enjoying nature, peace, and calm.





We didn’t go out to dinner this time, instead preferring to raid the fridge in the general store and share leftovers from the night before. The night was milder, so it wasn’t as much of a hardship when the middle of the night bladder call woke me up!

Sunday morning, I did a yoga practice, ate some breakfast (preserves and Nutella on toast, and fresh pineapple), and headed back to the city. I felt refreshed and rejuvenated and grateful.

I had a wonderful mini-retreat weekend and cannot wait to head back to Stonehouse Farm this summer.


Comments Off on retreat.

spring cleaning.


Well, I finally did something I’d been meaning to do for months, if not years. And that was to DECLUTTER MY CLOTHING. You do not want to see the condition my bedroom was in by the time Thursday morning rolled around. Luckily for you, I didn’t bother to take photos. Believe me, this is better for all of us.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t take all that long. First, it was all about separating the dirty clothing from the clean clothing, and that was easy. The dirty stuff was all on the floor. Then, it was all about getting rid of the stuff I didn’t want to wear anymore, that didn’t fit, or that I never plan to fit into again because it was all way too big for me now. I was so amazed at how different an XS from 2014 is from an XS from 2004. From the same store!

I managed to fill up four large bags with sweaters, pants, shirts, and more to donate. My next project is to sort out the summer clothing. I know there are a lot of embarrassingly ugly shorts and tops hiding in those two bins I have, and I just need to let them go.




Me to my past self: Oh, honey. No.

Basically, most of that trip, as fun as it was, was a fashion FAIL (for me, anyway. at least aidan looked cute).

I’m not just getting rid of the ugly stuff. There is plenty of cute stuff in those bags. They just don’t look right on me anymore, or they no longer fit. Some of the sweaters were hard to let go of.

The cool part was that in the midst of cleaning and clearing, I found a jacket, a sweater, and a top that I’d been wondering about for a long time. (Unfortunately, I did not find my Life Planner. I think it’s really gone. *sad face*) There’s a weight off my chest because I’ve accomplished something I’d wanted to for a long time. I’ll be really glad once I have the summer clothes done as well. And I will TRY to control myself with buying new stuff. Especially when I wear the same things over and over anyway.

Spring is always sort of an awakening for me. In winter, I wanted to lie around and sleep all the time. Not so much these days. Adam’s been surprised at how “early” I’ve been getting up. (Which, to be honest, isn’t all that early for normal people, but for ME, it is!) I went out for a short walk Saturday so I could take pictures of the blossoming trees down the street (and pick up the new menu from the newly relocated and expanded sushi restaurant that I always get my sushi from). I bought a bunch of books from Half Price Books and between that, the library, and ebooks, I’ve been reading like a madwoman. Oh wait, I guess that part is not new.

I’ve started taking vitamins again–calcium and vitamin D, and biotin (so my hair can grow even longer). As the days grow warmer and longer I plan to spend more time outside. And I have GOT to get back to a regular yoga practice. I haven’t neglected my practice this long since I worked at Schawk. And I remembered how unhappy with how I looked and felt back then. No bueno, Ronni. I don’t want to go back to that place.

And so I won’t.

That’s all for now. I’ve also started taking melatonin to help me sleep at night, and I think it’s starting to kick in. So… good night.

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