universe are you listening?

No Bueno

I’m not doing so well today. I am worn down, exhausted, and have zero motivation to do a dang thing. Mercury is in retrograde and OH WOW is it showing.

1. Web browsers are acting weird. Google Chrome is acting weird with my WordPress dashboard, so I have to use Firefox to add posts. I also need Firefox to work on the newsletter for Moksha because Namaste Light does not play nicely with Chrome these days. However, Firefox is SLOW once it gets going and it really lags on my system. Plus, it doesn’t always play nice with LiveJournal. So now I get to bounce back and forth until one of them gets their act together.

2. Monthly newsletter went out and there were some hiccups AGAIN. I asked them if they wanted me to step down and she said no, that I’m doing a great job, and it was just one of those things. I’m doing a good enough job on everything else that they’re still going to trust me with January 2012. So, I will DO DAMN BETTER. I promise.

3. I ran MacKeeper to get rid of duplicate files, but it decided that many different original files were the same, so it tried to delete all those as well. I caught them, but now it’s a disorganized mess. Fortunately, I have backups of most of the organized folders, so I can just overwrite the messed up ones.

4. My iPod crashed. It crashed and deleted all of my music and playlists. I manually sync because I don’t have the same things on my iPod that I do on my computer. Saturday evening, a Tori Amos song kept erring out, and I think that’s what did it. iPod corrupted. Hours of hard work, selecting and sequencing those playlists by hand… gone. *sigh* The Christmas 2011 mix was the best mix I’d ever made, too. And the yoga practice mix? That was freaking hard to put together and now I have to do it again. But first, I have to get the thing to mount. And also to stop crashing and locking the library. Time to restore all systems, I suppose.

5. Computer battery needs to be serviced. Which likely means replaced. Which means bye bye $130.

On top of Mercury’s retrograde screwing with all my technology (and giving me an inexplicable urge to buy an iPad when I don’t need one at all), I’ve just been feeling like a poop log lately. Worn down, nauseated, and just generally tired. And my ear is hurting again. I have so much I need to do and no motivation to do it. This weekend, I was hit with a double whammy headache, one of them being a migraine that was extremely painful. Little appetite, just not feeling myself. I don’t like it. Oh, and the tip of my tongue has been burning the past few days. Feels like I burnt it with food or bit it a million times, but instead of getting better and going away, it’s getting worse.


Just to give you an idea of how worn out I’ve been:

1. I turned down a trip to Target. Adam knows that if I say “no” to a Target run then something’s seriously wrong.

2. I haven’t watched one Christmas program/DVD/movie. Not even A CHRISTMAS STORY. I adore A CHRISTMAS STORY. What is happening?

3. The apartment’s not completely decorated for Christmas. Honestly, Adam and I put the tree up Friday, I decorated it, then I was done. I haven’t made any effort to do anything else since. THIS IS NOT LIKE ME.

To add insult to injury? My new(ish) awesome glasses? They have a chip in the lens. I dropped a plate the other day and thought it had avoided the glasses, but I guess not. So it’s back to the ugly cheap frames for me until I can get them repaired or either get a new pair. I mean, I can *somewhat* ignore the chip, but I don’t know if other people can. Suck.

I have so much to do (in no particular order, it just all needs to be done on or before December 15):

01. Christmas newsletter
02. Christmas cards
03. reestablish iPod
04. finish decorating apartment
05. major litter box cleaning
06. organize closet and clothing
07. wrap presents
08. clean living room (this may as well be a permanent on the list)
09. plan Christmas menu
10. make Christmas food shopping list
11. return library books
12. finish Christmas shopping
13. buy cat food
14. laundry
15. two newsletters for Moksha
16. use Body Shop Groupon
17. send packages

Yea, whatever is bugging me needs to GET TO STEPPIN’. I ain’t got time for this mess.

As much as I love iProcrastinate, I didn’t like that it didn’t give me reminders of when things were due. So I decided to use Producteev. It has a reminder function. Except… it doesn’t seem to be working. I should add that to the list of things screwed up by Mercury’s retrograde. *sigh* Or maybe the software just sucks.

So now I’m on the hunt for another To Do program. I might have to break down and PAY FOR ONE. *gulp* I mean, what’s the point of having a productivity program if all it does it make me panic because it doesn’t tell me when stuff’s coming up, just when it’s due RIGHT NOW?

In spite of all this bleh, I had a good time Saturday night. I hung out with a bunch of former coworkers from Schawk. It was so good to see them all again. One can be glad to escape the craziness of the workplace, but the people will always tug at me.

Silent Night...Not So Much
Brad, JT, Hayley, me, Tyrone, Duane

I’m a homebody. I don’t go out a lot. It’s nice to get out sometimes, though. Although I think Saturday night might have done me in. Maybe I’m still recovering from that.

Also, did I mention that my birthday is in 14 days? No? Well, now you know.

Anyway, I’m off for now. Time for more resting so I can get better once and for all. I WILL get better. Hear that, Universe? I WILL get better within the next 12 hours.

Please send me lots of good vibes for many various things, OK? :)

Till next time….


When I Grow Up (Pictures)

So, at the ripe age of 36 (good God, REALLY?), I’ve finally decided what I want to be when I grow up.


I want to be a happy wealthy hippy, traveling the world, doing yoga, and living off my art (writing and editing, preferably novels and/or K–12 educational materials). Basically, I want to make a lot of money, but I want enough time to enjoy it without being stressed and unhappy on top of it. I want to find that life’s work that doesn’t feel like work because I love it so much. Actually, I’ve found it. I just need it to be WAY more lucrative to support my other dreams as well.

I want to be able to spend a ton of time and money on the people (and animals) I love the most. And to also give to the causes I believe in, and those that need desperate help. I want to fill my home with incense and music and positive, loving energy. I want to throw get-togethers that are legendary and warm and that make people happy.

I want to live in a brick house with a porch and dormer windows. I want the house to look like this:


The house has to have enough room to house all my books and collections. There should be space for at least three cats, an aquarium, and maybe a reptile or two (plus me, Adam, Aidan, and up to two guests). I want soft, squashy furniture for relaxing and napping, hardwood floors with shaggy rugs strewn about, bookcases everywhere, walk-in-closets, a soaking tub, lots of storage. Not too far in the middle of nowhere, but not necessarily in the heart of a city either. I want a yard with at least one mature tree living in. Flowers would be OK, as long as they’re perennials that pretty much raise themselves. I suck at gardening, but I love when flowers are growing. Room for a dog if I ever settle down from traveling.

I want to visit places and friends all over the world. Ireland, England, Scotland to start with. Then I’ll get more adventurous. France. Italy. Australia and/or New Zealand. Japan. India. Oh God yes, India.

I want to decorate my home with dolls, books, action figures, sculptures of Ganesha and Shiva and other Eastern Asian art. Also Disney. All things Mickey Mouse. Some of the original Disney artwork they have for sell at the Parks. I’d love a retro kitchen like that 1940s one in the Carousel of Progress at Disney World. Look how COOL this is:

Carousel of Progress 1940's


Now, before you fall over with laughter, please realize that this post is my dreams. And they’ll stay dreams if I keep them in my head. I might as well put them in the universe, and let the fates do with these dreams as they will.

I mean, I already have the look, don’t I?


In the meantime, I’m going to work on creating and maintaining my happiness in the here and now, and also making more memories. I need to make more memories before winter comes and buries me again.

More soon. xo

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