Dear Columbus Drivers (especially those in mini-vans, Cadillacs, and Lexuses),

Is it really too much to ask you that when you’re on a highway where the speed limit is 65MPH, to go at least that much?? Especially if there is no traffic, the weather is clear, and there is no one in front of you? And… can I please ask you not to hit your brakes every few feet? Because see, it’s really annoying. I don’t understand why you need to slow down when you’re already going too slow. I mean, is your cell phone conversation that important that you have to hold up traffic?


Dear Jerk Ass Columbus-area Drivers of SUVs That are Way Bigger Than You’ll EVER Need In This City,

Stop acting like you can make your own damn rules on the road. When you see someone needing to merge on the freeway, don’t speed up and try to keep them from coming on, thus forcing them onto an exit they didn’t want to take. That’s just mean and being a bully, which is probably the reason you bought the stupid thing in the first place.


Dear ODOT,

Can you please come down here and do something to the entrance-exit systems on many of the Columbus roads? Because the way they’re set up is really annoying. Someone gets on a ramp, but about 500 feet ahead is an exit back on to the road one just got off of. If aforementioned SUV-drivers are doing their thing, someone can be easily forced BACK on the freeway from which he or she came, thus causing lots of frustration and agitation. Traffic is not lightening up around here. The vehicles are getting bigger and meaner. More and more people are settling in the city. Rush hour is turning into rush HOURS. More efficient entry-exit systems are needed. Desperately.

Common Sensely,

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