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I had a bumbley week, emotion-wise. For some reason over the weekend, I started feeling really down on myself in regards to the teacher training, in regards to my diet, in regards to everything! I tried to keep it on the down low, but it kept coming out in the form of random irritability and crankiness. I haven’t been to a yoga class in well over a week, and well, some days it was just not good. 🙁 I felt resentful of yoga, and the yoga lifestyle, and the…things required in my life to be a good yogi. Which you know, is just as messed up as when I was really into the evangelical church and always worried about being a good Christian. I just need to be ME, and “me” is a girl who does yoga but also likes to scarf down candy bars and eat bacon.
But I’m better now, sort of. Tonight we had a homework review and the leader, who is also our counselor, said that my feelings are normal and will come and go. It’s a roller coaster; she said to enjoy the ride!
I think part of my problem is that it’s mid-July, and that it feels like summer is practically over already, even though the Solstice happened less than a month ago. It’s been super hot outside, even uncomfortable for ME at some points (and y’all know I like the heat!), and it’s totally been feeling like summer. I’ve been craving a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a sugar cone, and I haven’t had enough cookout food. I’ve had TONS of pizza though….and I am covered in mosquito bites from hanging out outside with the neighbors from the next block Sunday night. Worth it.
I’ve been MISSING Disney World like a missing thing that misses stuff (not that I really fancy going in the middle of July, however). I want to eat loads of Iowa sweet corn. I want to visit my mommy in her new apartment. I want need a pedicure. I want to go to Half-Price Books and lose my freaking mind. I am LONGING too much and that is no good!
I’m sure I’ll snap out of this soon. In the meantime, here are some photos:
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Aidan and Mommy!
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I love summer!
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I briefly got to have a s00j last week!!!!!
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Best Curls Ever
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Adam, the birthday boy on July 13
We’re having a thundershower right now. The breeze feels nice. I was going to take a shower (just got a big ass bottle of Dr. Bronner’s baby mild soap. I don’t care too much for the way it smells WHILE I’m washing with it but love the way I smell afterwards. Weird, I know), but because of the storming, I will wait until tomorrow. Now it’s time to play around on some websites before taking a book and heading to bed. Possibly a snack first. I’m still hungry.
Till next time!
aiden looks so much like you!
i hope you get out of your funk soon.
I just need to be ME, and “me” is a girl who does yoga but also likes to scarf down candy bars and eat bacon.
Yes, yes, and YES!!!!!! *huggles*
Wow you do REALLY love summer if you are having anxiety in July. I know Chicago is COMPLETELY different from NC, however I am anticipating a breath of fresh cool air and that might not even happen until October. I know you aren’t feeling my whining about the heat lasting that long 😉