does anyone even read this thing?

Once upon a time, someone said “the days are long but the years are short,” and as I grow older, that’s feeling more and more true. It’s been well over a year since I posted here, but it doesn’t feel that long. But it’s been many months, and time just keeps ticking.

(There are a lot of pictures in this post, and some of them are taking ages to load, so please bear with me and the servers. Sucks that I have to say this in the year of our Lord 2022, but what can you do?)

I’m still working, blessedly from home. I have a full-time job and various freelance gigs, and I’m still writing on top of that. I (re)started therapy in February 2021, and that’s still ongoing. My new game obsession is Disney Dreamlight Valley, which took the place of my Stardew Valley obsession from earlier this year. Playing cozy video games is definitely my self-care!

I redid my home office to match my aesthetic because pink is beautiful and it makes me happy! And because I spend so much time here, it only makes sense for my office to be a place I want to be. I have two setups and a total of three to four computers in my office. My MacBook Pro, my Razer Chroma gaming laptop, and two work laptops. Good times.

Good things and bad things happened in 2021, globally and personally. There’s been loss, but also birth. Sorrow and joy. Hope and despair. Such is the journey of life.

The Sad

My beloved Charlotte passed away in May of 2021 from cancer. She got sick super suddenly and deteriorated quickly, and my heart is still broken from missing her. She was only four years old. She should still be here.

My bio father passed away in October of 2021. We were estranged. I hadn’t spoken to him in decades. And yet, the grief is still there a bit. It’s complicated. But it’s there.

The Joy

Aidan graduated high school, got accepted to every college he applied to, and chose to go to college in Chicago and move in with me and Adam! I was and am THRILLED to have my son with me full-time. He’s just a super amazing person.

I had a blast redoing his room, and my office as well. I ended up making almost everything in my office pink or white, which meant new desks, new shelving, and new chairs. I gave Aidan my old black desk and gaming chair. We installed shelving in his room so he could display all his collectibles and LEGO, and I put together an epic snack cart. That project was SO MUCH FUN. On both accounts. I have an epic snack cart, too.

In fall 2021, my baby started COLLEGE! It’s still hard for me to believe he’s a *man* now. But he’s the very best person I know.

It’s amazing to me that our little family raised this amazing boy. With co-parenting, friendship, and our love for Aidan, I think we did a pretty good job.

I sold another book! And I’m STILL WORKING ON THAT SAME BOOK. This Night is Ours is due to come out sometime in 2024 and I think we’re in the home stretch of edits. Here’s the book deal announcement. Back when I naively thought I’d be able to write a novel in 3 months. Ha. HAHAHAHAHA. So yeah, the date in the announcement is way off!

I’m excited for you all to read it.

Several months after the loss of Charlotte, we were finally ready to open our hearts to a new kitty. Enter Priya. Because it was 2021, we had to make an appointment to see kittens at PAWS. All of the kittens that day were not very socialized, and most of them were terrified of everything. Priya could be coaxed out of her hiding place with treats, and that’s how we decided on her. Initially, she only wanted Aidan to hold her. At home, she liked Miles right away, but he had to do the hissing thing. Establish his dominance. Now they’re best of friends. I’d never had a calico before, and I adore her so much. She’s finally trusting us (although a sudden movement or loud noise will still spook her, and she’s not a fan of strangers. She does like other cats, though), and she cuddles with me at some point every night. She’s not attached to my hip like Charlotte was, but that was special. I don’t know if any other cat will love me like Charlotte did. I’ll take what I can get from little Priya!

In late summer 2021, my bestie Rena had a baby, and I love that child like my own! Auntie Ronni will do anything for that sweet baby! Not posting pictures here to respect their privacy, but just know that every time I see that kid, my heart melts clear through the floor. Just celebrating all the lovely people in my life… that’s a blessing. Such a blessing.

The Adventure

In July 2021, I took my first trip on a plane since February 2020. I’d gotten vaccinated, and mask mandates were still a thing, so I felt fairly safe flying again. I visited Jennifer and her family, and it was just what the doctor ordered. Lovely summery weather, beautiful beaches, a spa day at The Ritz, and nighttime dinners on the boat. Such a great time.

I made it to Paris!

And I am absolutely enchanted by the place. It’s beautiful, and I cried when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time. The thing is awe-inspiring and enormous. And a bitch to climb. Make sure you go in on the elevator side if you want to go to the top. Because whew! I climbed up to the 2nd floor (see the middle band around the tower?). It was not fun. But I did it. Fortunately, an elevator was available to take me all the way to the top!

Then I got to visit the gorgeous Palace of Versailles (I always spell that wrong). I can’t even describe how amazingly gorgeous it is. And people lived there. What?

And of course, there was no way I was going to Paris without visiting Disneyland Paris!

Disneyland Paris has been a pipe dream for ages, and I never thought I’d get there. But … I put it on a vision board in 2017, and a lot of the things on there have come true! Maybe it’s time for me to make a new, updated vision board and fill it with more dreams, goals, wishes…

Anyway, Disneyland Paris was really cool and quirky. Some of the rides lasted longer than the rides at Disney World, and (Hyper)space Mountain was way more intense. I really loved feeling that Disney magic even in a new place.

I went down south and spent time with dear Jennifer and her (our) family. I took Aidan and my mom. We also visited Adam’s family. It was busy but rewarding and full of love. There were boat rides and Ulta trips and golf carts and Nerf wars and cookies and mac and cheese and beach walks and just so much goodness.

The Wind Down

I look back at my pictures and I’m just awed at the amazing people in my life. It’s easy to forget when anxiety and depression rear their heads and try to take over. It’s easy to forget when I isolate myself in my office (as pretty as it is) and take on too many freelance projects. And it’s easy to forget when I let social media define my self-worth, which happens way too often.

Speaking of freelance, the 2nd half of 2021 found me buried in work. The day job was super busy, freelance was out of control. It was like the world was waking up from 2020 and trying to make up for lost time. By the time Christmas rolled around, I was sick, exhausted, and overwhelmed, and making a point not to overwork myself like that in 2022!!!

But I am happy, overall with how 2021 turned out. I learned a lot, got to open my home, and see people again. I got to venture into the world again. I wish I could say it was a nicer world overall, but the jury is still out on that. I just have to hold on to the things close to me.

Eventually, I will update you on my 2022, but today’s not that day! It’s time for me to wind down and start getting ready for bed. YouTube and Gilmore Girls aren’t going to watch themselves, you know.

More soon!