I miss writing. I miss it so much that I’m considering seeking writing help. I mean, I blog and that’s a form of writing, and those who have emailed with me know that I can certainly go on and on in a message. But writing fiction? Making up stories? I miss that and want to do it again.

I started writing when I was in sixth grade. I was eleven years old. I’d gotten this Michael Jackson notebook. He was wearing the yellow vest and white pants. You remember that picture, right? (It’s one of my favorites of him.) If not, here is a refresher:

[via]

Anyway, I declared “I’m going to write a story!” And I did. I sat at the end table and wrote a story about some of my classmates and me getting trapped in a haunted house.

I wish it was that simple for me again.

I have friend who are New York Times best-selling authors who write stuff just for themselves on the side. For fun! These days, it’s hard enough for me to get motivated to work on any projects I have floating around in my brain (and I have a lot, believe me), let alone do something just for fun!

I keep telling myself that I don’t have to try to get published, or that I don’t have to be perfect on the first draft even if I WERE trying to write to get published. I came so close to my dream years ago, when I wrote a novel in six months that I LOVED (and still do love, to be honest!). I worked on it every single second I could. When I wasn’t working on it, I was thinking about it. It consumed me and it FELT SO GOOD. I knew that was the one and that it was finally time to start pursuing publication for real.

That novel got me representation by a very well-respected agent. It didn’t sell, though, so it never got published. My confidence took quite a blow and it hasn’t quite recovered. And that makes me wonder if seeking help would get me back on track. I have no discipline or structure, and I need that. I don’t think I’m going to do it on my own.

It’s definitely something to think about.

[This is a sponsored post. That means I have been compensated for writing it.
But rest assured. This story is true and heartfelt. I am determined to be a writer again.]