This winter’s been a weird one. Up until this point, the weather has been scarily mild (not complaining AT ALL), but I still haven’t had much desire to go outside. And right now, even though I am fully dressed, I’m really cold.

Which is good because I will be GOOD and ready for Disney World and warm Florida temperatures. We leave at (as Seanan would say) Oh God WHY o’clock in the morning for the airport, flight takes off at 6am, and I’m hoping to be in Magic Kingdom no later than noon! This means I’ll be consuming lots of energy shots once we land in Orlando so I can be good and awake.

I am so in need of warm sun on my skin. Warm sun PERIOD. I still have loads of stuff to do before the trip, but that’s cool. It’s stuff to keep me busy until we’re there.

In yoga, we talk a lot about seeing the light in people. And I start to think about the light in people who do really bad things. Like the father who blew himself and his two sons up in his house. Or the teenager who killed her nine year old neighbor. And I wonder about their lights. Do they have a light? Has it dimmed? Am I being judgemental by even wondering about it?

This is why I avoid the news. I know that if something super important goes down, I will find out about it. But I tend to stay away from watching CNN, local news, all that stuff.

I know that’s part of why I love Disney World so much. I go there, and I’m pretty much cut off. I’m in this happy fantasy world, and life is awesome. There’s music and rides and happy people and Mickey Mouse and desserts. Oh yes, desserts. And bright colors and flowers and princesses and sunshine. Did I mention that I’m ready for sunshine?

I had a lot of stuff on my mind, but it’s all escaping me right now. I’ve been dealing with random stomach pains and my appetite’s not been so good. Trying to turn my sleeping schedule into a normal one is a 1/2 step forward, 99 steps back operation. I’m just naturally a night owl, and playing the Sims 3 from 9pm until 4am just encourages it.

I worry all the time. I worry about Aidan. I worry about my mom. I worry about money. I worry that I’m wasting my life/time/talents. I worry about death and dying. I worry that I’ll never succeed at anything (especially in Chicago, where competition is fierce and I’m really starting to question if I am cut out for it).

Am I weird?

Wait, don’t answer that. I know I’m weird.

I love this cat more than any other cat alive.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Helena and Crookshanks, but Fi is my favorite. Shhh, don’t tell any of them I said that.

I wish my blog had more readers. I mean, I write stuff, I want people to read it! I have some envy for the blogs that have 1000+ followers. I know, it’s silly. It shouldn’t be a popularity contest. I tell myself I’d rather have a smaller following of quality people who comment and interact with me, but I’d honestly like a large following of quality people who comment and interact with me. Hmm, but then again, a larger following = a bigger chance for trolls. I’ve had that. Don’t want that again.

These are just the thoughts flipping around in my brain these days.

Linking up with:

I am determined that February will be awesome. For one thing, it’s a red and pink month. I don’t have synesthesia, but months have always had colors for me. January is blue and grey. March is green. And February is red and pink. Probably has more to do with the seasonal decorations than anything special my brain is doing.

But ANYWAY. February is going to be made of awesome because I SAID SO. I’m already one book ahead on my 2012 Reading Challenge, and today, I got back on my exercise bike after not using the poor thing for months. I just don’t want to be one of those people whose exercise equipment becomes a coat hanger.

pre-workout myspace angle pic

I really do need to be committed to taking better care of myself. I got the bike because I know myself. Even if I paid $1,000/month for a gym membership, I’d never go. Part of the reason is that I had a bad experience with a gym. I am pretty sure the events are unrelated, but the last time I worked out really hard in a gym (January 2000), I caught a terrible round of the flu that night. I was sick for two weeks. IT SUCKED. Every time I think of a gym, I get scared that I’ll catch the flu if I go.

So, I figure it’s better for me to workout at home. For one thing, the bike is RIGHT THERE taunting me like “Dude. You’ve been on the couch for four hours. Get over here and get your workout on.”

Not only that, but I get FREE UNLIMITED YOGA at Moksha. It’s a seven minute walk from my apartment. I need to be going to a class at least three times every week. EVERY WEEK.

(I also have yoga DVDs here.)

There really is no excuse.

So today, February 1, 2012, I commit to being more physically active. No matter how much winter makes me want to hibernate. Otherwise, I’ll never be able to do this:

So, this has been the week of GETTING STUFF DONE. I used to rave about iProcrastinate, but Producteev is so much better. It has a reminder function. I can sync my tasks between the computer, the net, and my phone. It sends me emails when stuff is coming up due, and if I’ve forgotten something, it sends an email for that, too. And I can mark things as “done” in the email, send it on, and it’ll update everywhere. It really keeps me organized. Cloud software RULES.

Disney World in less than two weeks! That is AWESOME, y’all. I was going through a friend’s Disney pix and working myself all up. It’s a short trip–four days/three nights–but we’ll make the best of it. I guess I’m kind of in denial. I never pack or anything until very late the night before. I don’t know why I have to act like that. I *am* excited. Can’t wait to see Mickey and the gang and eat good food and just be cut off from the world.

I have a lot of prep to do for Disney. Like making a packing list. Checking in to our hotel. Asking Adam if he wants to pre-order the Photopass CD. Making arrangements for the kitty cats. A bunch of other stuff that escapes me right now. I can’t believe how chill I am. I used to freak out, making spreadsheets and all sorts of things for trips. Now I’m just like “Whatever. It’ll be good.”

When I get back from Disney, I need to work on Making More Money. I don’t like pinching pennies. And pennies don’t like to be pinched. It hurts them.

But I’m not going to worry about that now.

I’m sure I had some other stuff to write about, but I can’t remember any of it. So I’ll go for now.

‘Til next time.