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Up & Down (Pictures)

A week after I quit that job, I am now starting to feel the depression of not having full-time work. I know I did the right thing in leaving, but right now, that “You’re worthless, no one wants you on their staff unless they’re going to mistreat/underpay you, why can’t you just suck it up and deal with working in miserable conditions just like everyone else” voice is beating heavily into me.

This week started off so great, too.

Adam’s family, Aidan, and I went down to Millennium Park and to Cloud Gate, which never gets old for me. It was Aidan’s first time there, and he LOVED it. He’d been talking about seeing “the big bean” for ages now.

Fun at Millennium Park!

Aidan lifting the “bean”.

Fun at Millennium Park!

I realized that there were no pictures of me without a camera in front of my face, like this one:

Fun at Millennium Park!

So I had Adam take one of me:

Fun at Millennium Park!

Aidan got wet in the giant fountains. I mean SOAKING!

Fun at Millennium Park!

Fun at Millennium Park!

Fun at Millennium Park!

But he didn’t care much for the train ride home. He was scared to death to go underground (he thought it would be very dark) and the train was very loud. He cried at first.

Yesterday was a good day.

Today started off nicely, too. It was a beautiful day. Perfect temps, sunny, blue skies and fluffy clouds. My most favorite kind of day. I got to meet Adam’s business partner Troy, and I took pictures of the Weird Chicago guys down on the lake shore. Cassidy treated me to a manicure (hadn’t had one since prom) and a pedicure (hadn’t had one since 2006) and my toes look adorable:

Pedicure!

We ate lunch at an adorable Italian place in Niles, IL. and acted silly when we were stuffed to the hilt.

Those Silly Kids

After popping into Target where I found out the gift card Ivy gave me was $40, not $25 like I’d thought, the Selzer’s dropped Aidan and me off and are now heading back toward Georgia.

I’m letting the little disappointments get to me. I got a little carsick today on the way to Target. Didn’t puke, thank God. The new pillow I got reeks and I have to return it. I feel like I’m letting everyone down for various reasons, and I honestly feel like crawling into a hole for a while. Everything’s eating away at my heart and soul and I know it’s a matter of time before I break down (again). But I have my little guy here and he loves me no matter what, so I’m going to hang on to that.

The job hunting blogs keep bleating the same thing. “YOU WILL NOT FIND A JOB SCOURING THE JOB BOARDS AND THE WANT ADS. THE ONLY WAY TO GET JOBS IS THROUGH CONTACTS AND NETWORKING.” Well, that’s nice and all, IF YOU FREAKIN’ HAVE CONTACTS. Guess who pretty much has ZERO contacts in Chicago. The agencies have been somewhat helpful. There is one here that I’ve had really great luck with, one that I’ve had OK luck with, and one that I’ve had a bit of luck with. But none of the full-time stuff I was up for panned out. That’s about as far as having contacts goes for me. It just seems like that “dream job” is always going to be out of reach. I want to do what I’m good at and what I love, and I want to be compensated well (or at least paid a living wage for goodness sakes) and treated with respect while I do so. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting away while someone gets rich off of me while I’m away from my adorable little boy. But that won’t happen as long as I seek work for others… but I’m too scared to try to do this on my own on the self-employment route. I feel trapped and stuck and scared. Like I’ve gone backwards instead of forward or even lateral, and that’s the way it’s always going to be for someone like me, whose talents are a dime a dozen in one of the most competitive fields out there.

And folks, that’s how I feel now. Sad and tired (haven’t had a lot of sleep the past several days) and like the world’s biggest failure except when it comes to Aidan. And sometimes, I have my doubts about that too. :(

Bye.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Pleasantly Tired (Multimedia)

Hey, folks. How’s it going? I’m OK, just tired. Aidan’s here with me for the summer and the kid asks a billion questions. It can be exhausting. Right now, he and Adam and assembling a complicated-looking Hot Wheels race track thing and it’s so cute to hear them interact!!!

Chris, Matty, and my mom brought Aidan up and spent the weekend in Chicago. They REALLY enjoyed the food, and my mom was thrilled to find her Philosophy stuff (and she bought some for me too)!

Mommy & Me
Mommy & Me on Michigan Ave. It was really windy!

Matt, Chris, Aidan
Matty, Chris, and Aidan

We had a good time. They really enjoyed the food, especially the sandwiches from Bari and the Chicago deep dish pizza:

Chris & Pizza
Chris and the big ole pizza.

Aidan LOVES playing the Wii, and he kicks all of our butts at bowling. Here is he playing the boxing. It’s hilarious:


This is me getting all dressed for a day of touristy stuff.

Hi!

My mom LOVED Navy Pier, even when Aidan was being a banana at times. I think he just got overstimulated, but he liked riding the train and eating cotton candy.

Good Times at Navy Pier

Aidan Looking Scholarly

Mommy & Aidan

Choo-Choo!

Crookshanks is happy to have Aidan here:

Aidan & Crookshanks

And he enjoyed my mom:

Crookshanks Loves Mommy

* * *

Chris brought a bunch of pictures of Aidan from the past couple of months. Here are some highlights:

Enjoying Himself

Paying His Respects

Aidan's Graduation

Aidan's Graduation

* * *

Randomly, in the middle of typing this post, the power went out for a short while. Adam, Aidan, and I took a walk around the block (thank God it’s warm enough to do that!) and then came in and ate dinner after the power came back on. Now Aidan’s watching Chicken Little. It’s gonna be an early night tonight. Because of the rain and a gutter leak RIGHT ABOVE MY BEDROOM WINDOW (that makes it sound like someone’s banging drumsticks on the pane), I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I also got up early, and I have some intense freelance work to start on tomorrow before Aidan wakes up. *yawn*

G’night, y’all.

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Sunday (Pictures)

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. *Gulp* Seems like, with all the changes I’ve been through in the past few years, I should be used to this, but I’m not. I haven’t worked full-time in months, so getting used to getting up early, having most of my day belong to someone else, and coming home late in the evening (on a crowded bus!) is… nervous-making (heehee, I just read EXTRAS by Scott Westerfeld). I have a Red Bull in the fridge that has my name on it for getting through tomorrow.

The hunt for work clothes is done for now. I went to Kohl’s last night, and found REALLY cute pants in the junior section…but the dang things are too long for me. I bought them anyway, because my friend Jonathon told me that I can get pants tailored at the cleaners. I never knew this. For someone who NEVER seems to fit the inexpensive nice dress pants, this is welcome news. Anyway, I got some really cute dressy clothes, and I’m excited to wear a new outfit tomorrow.

I *think* I’m starting to come to terms with Little Lucy… it’s nice not to have to worry about her anymore. I still get sad when I think about her, but I know that she’d have just gotten sicker and sicker.

Here are a couple of pictures from when I first got her in September of 2001:

She was so tiny and adorable. That first night, I took her home and gave her a bath, and we sat in the bathroom, her sitting on my chest, for hours. The next morning, she was done with the cuddling and wanted to get out and explore. She was a great little kitty. Not afraid at all of the two older cats who lived there. She often stole their food and started fights with them. But she was painfully shy, only coming out to meet people when she got a bit older. Otherwise, she was always hiding. Many guest never saw her in person. But as soon as the guest left, she’d be all over me. My very own little lap kitty.

She was a great little kitty, and she’ll always be in my heart.

Yesterday at Best Buy, I saw a cute little Sony digital camera. It’s pink, 7.3 megapixels, and great quality. See it here. It’s also just the right size to fit in my bag. I love my Canon, but it’s huge and heavy, and I’d like a smaller camera to carry with me ALL THE TIME. I’m going to be working in downtown Chicago, a mere few blocks from the lake. I would hate to miss something cool. So, I think I’ll get it when I get paid. I have obligations to take care of first.

Speaking of obligations, yesterday I took care of stuff. I opened a new bank account at the place where I’d been wanting since I moved here. Got a pair of noise-cancelling headphones in the process! 🙂 Then I went to State Farm to talk about getting my insurance switched over. Turns out it’ll be better if I wait until July to do so because then my rate goes down. YAY for that. I’m covered anyway so there really is no rush. Adam put a new battery in my car, so my car is running again. Just in time, the street cleaners are coming tomorrow. We have to do some big grocery shopping this week. gotta stock stuff that a five-year old would love to eat.

This is a big week for me. I start my new job tomorrow, and Thursday, Chris brings Aidan to stay with me for the summer. In addition, my mom is coming along, so it’ll be her first time in Chicago. Work is already aware of this, and I have Thursday and Friday off to prepare. Adam and I have to clean out the guestroom so it looks more like a bedroom and less like a storage area, and we have to do some normal cleaning because the parentals will be here. Adam’s parents will be passing through as well. It should be an interesting day, and I’m very excited to show my mom Chicago.

There are some times, usually when I am eating with good friends, and the weather is sunny and mild, that I feel OK here. It’s still taking some getting used to. Like Richard said, it’s going to be a while before I can call Chicago home.

Still, I am excited. It’s summer in Chicago, and the only thing better than that is Disney World with Aidan. Everything is going to be OK.

‘Til next time….

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Crazy Day! (Picture)

Banana Earrings! Today was a crazy day. I had set my alarm for 9:30am, because I don’t like lying in bed later than that. Okay, that’s not true. I LOVE lying around in bed until noon or one in the afternoon, but I feel like a terrible lazy banana when I do that (plus I need to get used to getting up at 6:45 again). Anyway, I was kind of wiggling around, because I always wake up right before my alarm is to go off, and then I heard my phone singing Love Potion#9. Adam brought me my phone, and when I answered it, it was the person I’ll be working with calling to offer me a job!

I will be working on newsletters and other communications for a concierge company in Chicago. I get to work in a very beautiful and old building, and best of all, it is accessible by public transportation, so no need to drive! It’s also across the street from a McDonald’s, which makes me very happy. And I think I’ll enjoy the job. I’ll be publishing, but not necessarily for a publishing company. A welcome change.

Because the place is professional dress, I need to get some dressier work clothes. My last two places were business casual and casual, so I wore khakis and polos, or jeans and tee-shirts to work. My professional clothing consisted of two interview suits, one skirt, and a couple of shirts, and one dress for which I really have no shoes that match. So, I headed out to the stores today to see what I could gather, because I start my new job on Monday.

Um…. have any of you seen the What Not To Wear with the lady who was crazily into the environment and she rode the pedicabs? She was TOTALLY freaking out in the stores. Just overwhelmed at all the choices and all the racks. Yeah, I felt like that today. I was having a mini-panic attack in the stores because there was so much. And then I’d FINALLY find something I liked only for it to not be in my side. Hours of shopping today resulted in two shirts, a suit, and some earrings. A pair of hoops, a pair of hanging, and …. a pair of banana earrings. Study the picture above closely. 🙂

That means I have to go back out tomorrow. And not freak out this time. I have other stuff to do tomorrow as well. Eeep!

I got to try Argo Tea today. I guess it’s like Starbucks, only you get fancy teas instead of fancy coffees. Mine was some sort of carbonated tea with peach. I think it’s called a Sparkle Tea. It was great. I also ate a lemon puff which was very yummy. I liked that place, but for sure it will only be a treat from time to time. I definitely won’t be spending $3 on tea every single day!

And on a sad note, some lowlife has stolen the Mickey Mouse antennae ball off of my car. (Fortunately, I have plenty in reserve, but I’m not going to put them out there for more lowlifes to steal. Grr.)

Another good thing is that one of my writer friends got some yummy news, but I’ll leave it for her to tell, and another one got approval to show her pretty cover. I feel sad that they’ve gone way forward and I’ve gone backward into nothing, but that goes to show who really wants and deserves this.

I had very yummy spaghetti for dinner. Mmm. I have a pretty good supply of Hunt’s tomato sauce now, thanks to Andy, a sale at Dominick’s, and the recent trip to the Meijer in Normal, IL.

And now, my darlings, I am off to have an ice cream bar. Adam brought me my favorite ones, the ALDI brand of the Nestle Crunch ones. Yummmy.

‘Til next time….

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Remembering…. (Picture)

Exhibit

Yesterday, Adam and I went to the National Vietnam Veterans Art Museum. They had free admission in honor of Memorial Day. This museum is wonderful; an outlet for those dealing with PTSD due to what they experienced in the war(s), as they have artwork, photographs, and sculptures not only from Vietnam, but from Afghanistan and even Iraq. The work there is powerful and moving, and informative. There is so much that most of us will never know. Those people pay and have paid a price that most of us cannot fathom.

The picture is of the dog tags in the museum. They hang above the main entrance, the clinking a haunting and constant reminder of the more than 58,000 men and women who served and died in the Vietnam War.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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