wedding

Announcement!

/ adam, happy, life, pictures, ronni, wedding, yay

So Happy Together Those of you who read my Facebook and those of you who are also friends with adamselzer already know. But I thought I’d post here anyway, because not everyone here reads Facebook or Adam’s LJ.

Thursday morning started as any typical day. I knew it was payday, so I’d be getting groceries after work, possibly stopping by Borders (I had a 25% off coupon), and maybe the library. I also knew I had a weird day ahead, because I had two meetings scheduled, one which was supposed to be three hours.

I’m not a big fan of meetings. It’s just hard for me to sit still that long and focus. I am also not a big fan of the room the meetings are typically held in, as it’s usually balls-freezing cold in there! Honestly, I take my electric heater in there to blow on my feet because it’s that cold. (For the record, I also have the thing blowing on me all day at work because it’s so cold there. It can be 97 degrees outside and I’ll be inside shivering in front of the heater). Anyway, the meeting actually turned out to be interesting, and I got to leave after 90 minutes anyway. YAY.

I went back to my desk and checked email. Adam had written and talked about getting me out to Chicago again soon. I rememebered I had a free SW flight that I was planning on using when he got his wisdom teeth out, but he said he won’t be doing that for a while so to use it for a visit. I started looking for seats and flights, and imagine my surprise when I found one available THAT EVENING. I called him, got the green light, went home for lunch to pack, came back to work, finished out the work day and at quitting time, burst out of the office, got to the airport, and was on the 4:55pm plane to Chicago.

Oh WHAT!!!

So I’m here now. Total last-minute, unexpected trip. We ate dinner at Pie-Eyed, hung out with some friends at Ambrosia Cafe (I found raspberry M&Ms at the 7-11 on the same block. They taste like Christmas), and then Adam and I went to Margie’s Candies, which is an old-fashioned candy shop and ice cream parlor. I couldn’t understand why he was so keen on going there, but as I hadn’t been in over a year and had been kind of craving it (despite being stuffed from eating junk food all evening). We shared a chocolate phosphate, he told me a beautiful story about his great-grandparents which ended with “so this is the ring he gave her….”

I freaked out. In a good way, of course.

For the record, this is the ring his great-grandfather gave his great-grandmother in 1924(ish). The ring that Adam gave me Thursday night:

So, I woke up Thursday morning, expecting a pretty typical day. I went to bed Thursday evening in Chicago, and engaged.

OMG WOW.

A year ago, I was saying I’d never do the marriage thing again. Well, I guess it just goes to show that I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. Not to say that I don’t get scared sometimes, just because that’s my nature. When I’m not worrying about what other people will think, and not worried about my own foolishness and self-sabotage tendencies, I relax and I’m happy. I am happy. 😀

I was hesitant to post it here because I haven’t yet told my mother or told some other people who should probably not learn of this through LJ, but my mom doesn’t have Internet at the moment and the other people won’t have Internet until Monday. So I’ve got time. 🙂

Cheers!

P.S. Jen Hathy, the person who takes the best photos of Adam ever, is posting pix on her DeviantArt site. Get there from here: saintscribble, and here’s the link to her DeviantArt site: http://morethannothing.deviantart.com/

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Bittersweet

/ family, spirituality, wedding

Friday night, I was at my brother-in-law Josh’s wedding rehearsal. He and his fiancee Kelly have been together for a long, long time. I remember when they were just friends, and he bought her a tennis bracelet for Christmas. It was obvious he was in love with her then. I remember how much fun I had with him when we went shopping for her engagement ring. That’s the last time I really got to hang out with Josh. I miss that. Growing up makes you so busy. It’s kind of sad.

So, they were going through all the vows and things. I kind of numbed myself to the whole thing. I think if I let my mind really dig deep, I would have gotten upset. So many people just gloss over those vows, never follow them, constantly break them. The person who is supposed to be the one who never hurts you ends up hurting you the worst ever. And you wonder if you made a huge mistake.

I was sitting there, watching them at the altar, and wondering if they really knew what those vows meant. If they had any idea what they were getting themselves into. If they were taking them seriously. If they knew how freakin’ hard marriage really is? Sometimes, I want to run after all these engaged couples screaming DON’T DO IT! Especially if one or both parties have the slightest misgiving.

But who am I to judge their situations? Heck, what do I know about successful marriages anyway?

It’s so hard for me to be happy for others in the midst of my own struggles, and that makes me feel like a rotten person. I’m letting my junk contaminate my ability to feel joy for them, and that’s unfair.

Seriously, anyone considering marriage or on their way down that aisle, stop and think. MEDITATE on the vows. Try to imagine how hard it can and probably will be. Realize that this is supposed to be FOREVER. You’re to be with this person forever. Look past the gloss and the heady feelings of love and passion. And think long and hard before saying yes. The wedding is the easy part. The real work begins once the honeymoon is over.

You know, this is probably really bad to say. But I’m going to say it anyway. I wonder if God doesn’t trick us into marriage. He says no sex outside of marriage, so you’re with this person, you’re on FIRE for this person–you end up getting married (partially) so you can DO IT. Then the passion passes away, and you’re left with this HUMAN. And you’re thinking “Now what do I do with him/her?” Then again, maybe marriage was perfect back in the day, before Eve ate the forbidden fruit. It’s all fun and games ’til you eat from the Tree of Knowledge! Heh.

I don’t know. I didn’t do it the ‘right way,’ so I’ll never know what could have been. I just know all that’s wrong. 🙁

I’m rambling too much, so I’m going to bed now. Sorry if my entry hurts or offends you–I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

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