Day: March 23, 2005

Wow.

The Moon in Virgo today may express a more vulnerable side than usual as it reflects a powerful conjunction between aggressive Mars and wounded Chiron. When the directed energy of Mars runs into obstacles, it may remind us of earlier experiences that still hold unprocessed emotional pain. We might even feel as if we cannot complete what we’ve started because the world is working against us. Additionally, sweet Venus is confused by a tense aspect with visionary Neptune, indicating that some of the negativity could very well originate in fantasy.

Wow, only 8am and already this is accurate for me. Had lots of thoughts as I was driving to work this morning. Nothing I want to go into greatly, but wow. Definitely some unresolved issues going on in my life. I’ll probably never get closure on them because the other person did what he thought was right and as far as he is concerned, it’s water under the bridge. I wish I could be as unaffected by things as he appears to be. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t ask. It’s gonna stay that way.

Sooo tired. Got involved in a project and didn’t go to bed ’til one. Then Aidan woke up at 4:30am with another night terror. I feel so badly for him when he has those because there is nothing I can do but wait it out. Once it’s over, he’s back to being cute and all, but during them, it’s awful. He screams and everything scares him and he thrashes about, and he asks for stuff but not really. Last night he asked for juice, for Mickey Mouse. I finally turned on the light in the hall which seemed to calm him down and he finally settled down and made cute little noises before falling asleep. Poor little guy.

The Grove was nice last night.

WARNING: lots of names you won’t recognize coming up!

The Grove was nice last night. Busy for me but good.

I made the slides Monday night, and also photocopied more issues of The Bark to pass out. Last night, I got to the church at six and helped set up for the slide show. Unfortunately, I’d thought that someone would know how to hook my computer to the projector! Tyler is out of town and he usually handles it. Jed D came and hooked it up and showed me how to do it. It’ll be good to know even though we’re moving to the sanctuary next month (hopefully??) and won’t have to worry about setting up like that anymore.

So we got the computers hooked up and the slide show ready. Then Tony wanted to play a video and we couldn’t get the sound to work. So Aaron and some other guys ran out to Meijer to get a certain cable and they got it to work. Christie M had to go and get snacks because the guy in charge of that had a family emergency and couldn’t be there early. Things were getting hectic and just when I thought they couldn’t get any more crazy, Abbie tapped me on the shoulder. It was time to practice for the drama skit!! Yikes. I forgot my line once during the practice–fortunately we didn’t have to say exactly what was on the paper, so improvisation happened a LOT during the skit. I didn’t hear it done the same way twice by anyone, except maybe Christy J. So my actual performance went well. :) Aidan got very excited to see me, Chad, and Christy up front and kept yelling our names. The cheers were actually encouraging. But Chris had to take Aidan out in the hall because it was hard for people to hear. :(

Overall, the message was pretty good, the singing was good, but the best part is was seeing my friends and catching up with them. :)

My current “can’t get enough of these songs” playlist:

> Twista f. Lil Jon – Let’s Go
> Jem – Falling For You
> A Perfect Circle – Passive
> Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me
> Coldplay – Clocks

TIME!! Why is it running away from me???

There is so much I want to do for my friends but there is never any free time. And the time I do get–I go to sleep! I have three packages to assemble and send out, cards that I NEED to get out ASAP, letters to write, bills to pay, pictures to send, scrapbooks to make, online photo albums to make, a synopsis to edit, agents to query, new chapters to write, character sketches to complete, editing to do. This, on top of church stuff, taking care of Aidan, *trying* to stay on top of keeping the house clean (a mostly futile effort), and working full time. Usually by mid-day Thursdays I am absolutely tapped out. But thanks to Aidan’s night terrors, the tapped out is happening RIGHT NOW.

^^Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I made the choice to take all of this on and I accept it. One day all of this hard work and investing in my writing career and in people will pay off. It’s already paid off tremendously. I have some amazing, incredible, wonderful friends. Maybe someday I’ll have an amazing, incredible, wonderful writing career.

And dang it, I MISS ROB. I haven’t seen him since Friday, which is unusual. ::mental note – make time for Rob ASAP::

Two friends in particular have skyrocketed to the very top of my prayer list. Their stories are not mine to share, but those of you who pray, can you please ask for God to be with them?

My prayer list is so long–seems like I have very little time to do that anymore, even. :( I have to MAKE TIME for God, but HOW?? He needs to be a priority in my life, even if I’m pissed off at Him or something. If only I could shorten my workday (and still earn my same salary) and increase my free time. Then I’d be able to spend more time with my friends, spend more time with God, spend more time doing what I enjoy. And SLEEP!

Mmm, sleeeeep. Usually I would take a nap during my lunch, but today we’re having a good-bye lunch for someone on the team. BD’s Mongolian BBQ. I hope I make it good this time.

Then tonight is Steak and Shake with some special girls. That will be uplifting, I think. The last time we all ate there it was mind-blowingly awesome. I’m looking forward to that very much.

I’m going to TRY to be in bed by 10:30pm tonight. We’ll see how that goes.

Alright, ta ta for now! :D

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Crap.

Can’t sleep. Again.

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