Month: March 2005

A Potluck Entry

Lots of Randomness Ahead.

Ronni,
You are quite willing to apply all your energy toward making your life easier now, but it may seem as if there are no quick answers. Your unexpressed insecurities have more of a hold on you than you realize. There is, however, great potential in the current situation, but you’ll need to slow down and take the time to discover what is here for you. If you can avoid being such an optimist for a while and see things as they really are, you’ll learn an important lesson about creating intimacy.

I LOVE tarot.com. It’s like–they know everything. And I love how their horoscopes aren’t all “this is going to happen today.” It’s about how I’m feeling. I wonder if other people with my sign are dealing with similar issues?

It’s scary and amazing how a certain incident can trigger all sorts of things within oneself–things this person thought were buried or resolved. Sometimes the response is more emotional than one had anticipated–often to the point of shock and then self-revulsion. I know exactly what this part is referring to: Your unexpressed insecurities have more of a hold on you than you realize. Now that I’m aware, I have to keep being patient with myself as I work through it.

Worried about a few things; people mainly. You know who you are. I’m here if you need to talk.

I NEED to get an oil change this weekend. NEED. I’m like 6,000 miles past the limit. Tire rotation is due too. Can you believe I put over 20,000 miles on my car in a year? I drive a LOT. Let’s not talk about how much I spend in gas. Yeah, about that. I spend probably $60 a week in gas, and that’s a little Hyundai Accent. Approx. 8.5 gallon tank. Costs me close to $20 to fill it up because gas is getting so expensive. So… I guess we are to expect the prices to hover around $2.00/gallon now?

I’m going to need to do some freelance work to make up for that!

Now if I could just not be a chicken-shit and actually submit some freelance stuff….

I am so glad it’s Friday. The weather is finally warming up! Spring is this Sunday WHEEE! It’ll be summer before I know it! YEA! Cute clothes, flipflops, cool sunglasses-here I come!

I think we’re going to finally get A/C put in our house this year too. No more fans! Ha!

I hope to spend a lot of time connecting and reconnecting with my friends this summer. I love the summertime. I’m looking forward warm temps, NO SNOW, sunshine, parties, cookouts, game nights, campouts (yes, Rob??) and then some. I can’t wait for the winter to be over.

I forgot to write that I had dinner with my friend Tony a couple of Sundays ago. It was really nice. We ate at Max & Erma’s. He had just come from work and he has to dress up so he looked really hot. He doesn’t believe me when I say he’s hot, but it’s true. I’ll have to post a picture of him.

The dinner went very well. We talked and talked and talked. It was very good and extremely enjoyable.

OOooo, how happy am I at the prospect of sunlight wafting through the house?? Now I just have to clean it. AGAIN. Son of a….

I miss Rob. A LOT.

I’m thinking of getting a new car stereo. My CD player is busted. When I put CDs in, it makes this nasty tapping noise and my CDs start to skip. Chris says it needs to be cleaned. So I’m going to try that. If that doesn’t work, then I’m going to look into a new stereo. I’d love a CD Player/Cassette Desk combo. I really want to be able to play my iPod in the car without using an FM Transmitter. I have an iTrip and it’s rather annoying. Can’t say I wasn’t warned, though. ‘Cause I was.

The song “Roses” by Outkast is stuck in my head.

And now for a bit of soul-baring:

I get scared when I find myself in friendships that are deepening. When I really hit it off with someone, I embrace them, then I immediately want to push them away. I know it comes from being hurt so much in the past. From letting people in and trusting them only for them to betray me. Or dismiss me.

I think back to the cycles in my life. The times when I was incredibly social to the times I locked myself in my apartment and made videos of myself singing “This Kiss.” *blush* I flip-flop so much between dying for alone time and longing to be with my friends! It’s so confusing and weird.

I know that I’m trying to protect myself and my heart. But how much is too much? I’m in my social period now but I feel myself winding down. Craving more time alone, just with me. In my house. But I refuse to shut out the people I know now–I’ve been having too much fun with them and they mean way too much to me. I’ve grown up (somewhat, not really) and I just can’t shut people out anymore because I’m scared they’re going to hurt me. And I KNOW it’s fear.

I have to break through it.

Dammit. I have so much work to do. And then after all the efforts, I’ll end up dying in the end anyway. Funny, that.

I want to do something with people tonight, I think. Maybe go and grab a bite to eat. Or maybe rent/watch a movie. Anyone up for it?

I’ve got my script memorized (almost) for The Grove on Tuesday. Excitement abounds–My HCC acting debut! 🙂 I love acting. Did y’all know I was a theatre major my first year in college? I switched to psychology because I thought I’d have a better shot at landing a realistic job. I wish I’d switched to Communication. Trying to break into that field is HARD. 🙁 And it’s what I’m good at and what I love to do. I don’t even get interviews–so I have to maybe rework my cover letter so they can see the passion I have for that and then call me for interviews so I can WOW them. *sigh*

Anyway.

I stole it from sylvehr! 🙂

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Ronni
Birthday: December 20
Birth place: Cleveland, OH
Current Location: Columbus, OH
Hair Color: (naturally) Golden
Righty or Lefty: Righty

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Good Lord, as if I know.
Shoes you wore today: My Chuck Taylor knock-offs. So frikkin comfy…
Your weakness: SHOPPING!!
Your perfect pizza: Ham. Mmmm.
Goal you’d like to achieve: I would like to be a successful, published author.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase: “What the banana…?” or “So…”
Your thoughts first waking up: “Already?”
Your best physical feature: Eyes and smile.
Your bedtime: I don’t really have one…
Your most missed memory: Huh?

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: Ick. Neither.
McDonald’s or Burger King: I love them both.
Adidas or Nike: neither. CONVERSE baby!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: *shrug* I’m not a huge tea drinker.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: No.
Cuss: Sometimes.
Single: No.
Have a crush: No.
Think you’ve been in love: Yes.
Believe in yourself: I’m learning to.
Get motion sickness: If I read or something for too long while in the car, yes.
Think you’re attractive: 90% of the time.
Think you’re a health freak: NO WAY.
Get along with your parents: Sure.
Like thunderstorms: I HATE THEM.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yes.
Gone on a date: No.
Gone to the mall: Heck yes!
Been on stage: No.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No. Hahaha.
Eaten sushi: I WISH! Dang it, I want some sushi.
Been dumped: No.
Gone skating: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Stolen anything: No.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: No.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Mmm yeah. About that…
Been called a tease: Not to my face.
Gotten beaten up: No.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: Already am.
Number of Children: I have one and that’s quite enough, thankyouverymuch.
How do you want to die: I don’t know!
What do you want to be when you grow up: A writer.
What country would you most like to visit: UK, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Scotland just to name a few.

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color?: Blue!
Best hair color?: Dark brown.
Short or long hair: However it looks nice.
Height: Tall.
Best first date location: Somewhere involving food.
First kiss location: *shrug*

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people you could trust with your life: Very few.
Number of CDs you own: not sure. Um… LOTS!
Number of piercings: Two.
Number of tattoos: Zero.
Number of times your name has appeared in the Newspaper?: At least three.
Number of scars on your body: A few.

Weird survey.

Byeee!

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Spill Your Secrets #2

I saw this on another journal: http://postsecret.blogspot.com

It’s amazing. It reminds me of the “post anononymously” meme I did several weeks ago. I kind of want to do it again. So here goes:

Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love – anything. Just be sure to post anonymously…

It’s good to clear one’s soul ever so often.

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More Pics and Awesomeness!

Lookeee!

Pictures from Tyler’s album!

Edit | 03.17.2005 – I love how the pictures with me in them have the most views!!

Enjoy! 🙂

AND… I got to talk to leavittbs & his lovely wife sylvehr today on webcam and chat. It was awesome! What a fun couple; I can’t wait to chat with them again. <3!!

Had spaghetti for dinner; may have overdone the garlic a bit though. *blush*

Drama club meeting went well tonight. I should have an easy time memorizing my script. Yay.

AND I got a text message from Star!! WOOHOO!

Bwah!!


You Are A Good Friend



You’re always willing to listen

Or lend a shoulder to cry on

You’re there through thick and thin

Many people consider you their “best friend”!

bold the states you’ve been to, underline the states you’ve lived in and italicize the state you’re in now…

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

Gonna try to get to bed early today. We’ll see how that goes. ‘Night!

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Protected: More To Come…?

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Chi-Town (Pictures)

I got to Rob’s about 6ish Friday night. It had started to snow really badly which SUCKED! But Rob and I had a few moments of quality time before Becky got there. Then Bizzy showed up. Rob and Bizzy rode to Tyler’s together and I drove myself and Becky there. We gathered Tyler, used the bathroom and we were on the road about 7ish.

The weather was iffy and traffic was a little slow. Becky, Bizzy, and I sat in the back with freezing feet until we took off our shoes. Funny how that made us warmer. The boys were cracking me up.

Tyler: I would like to respectfully request that no one opens their butt also.

Rob: If I say I have to puke Tyler will have this car on the side of the road so damned fast…
(it’s funnier if you have a mental picture of Tyler rushing to move the car over…bah, never mind!)

Tyler (talking about pooping twice in one day): The second one was mostly chili.

As we got into town, the weather had gotten really bad and the car windows were a mess and people in Chicago drive like MANIACS. Holy Aggressiveness!!! I’d never survive there!

The lights on the buildings were green. St. Patrick’s Day is a week-long event in Chicago. It’s kind of cool.

We got to Mark’s place about 12:30 CST, which was 1:30 EST. But the night was YOUNG! 🙂 Rob had called Mark and demanded pizza and that sweet guy delivered. I wasn’t hungry, but I hopped in the shower almost immediately. Tyler followed suit. Please read those sentences carefully so you don’t get the wrong idea.

We were all tired and kind of slaphappy and very excited to see Mark. And his roommate Nick, who was really cool as well. At some point, Rob and Mark went to Dominick’s (a store) and how many times did they forget to bring Bizzy and me Ho-hos? Hmm…I’m not even sure what they bought to be honest.

Rob (talking about dying): My time may be sooner and that’s okay, because I’m at peace with the Lord.
Laughter from kitchen.
Bizzy: Yeah, right!

Mark (after Rob kicked the white trash can AGAIN): You kicked that for the fifth…second time!

I haven’t talked about Mark much because he lives in Chicago and I don’t get a lot of time to hang out with him. But I got to very quality spend time with him this weekend and he’s truly awesome. 🙂

Mark lives right by the El tracks—I mean, look out the window and they are there.



Me, by the tracks. I’m standing on Mark’s back porch!

The trains aren’t annoying, though. You get used to it quickly and it can be soothing. Becky, Bizzy, and I stayed up really late talking. Ah, I love girl talk. I know Rob could hear every word we were saying even when we were whispering. Tyler says he was sleeping but I truly doubt he was. Although he is an abnormally silent (and still) sleeper….

Saturday, we got up around—not sure, actually. I talked to Jen*Jen a bit on the phone. People got ready and we headed to a place called “Nookies, Too” for breakfast. Yummy! I had Belgian waffles with strawberries, and bacon. Apple juice to drink. I got flirted with by the waiter. I think Mark may have drawn his knife but I’m not sure… (just kidding!)



Mm, yummy food!


Tyler, me, and Becky.


Mark and Bizzy study the menu. Anyone notice anything weird about this photo?

After breakfast, a panhandler begged for change. I gave her fifty cents. She then went off on everyone else I was with because they didn’t give her any money and she and Rob got into an argument. It was kind of amusing.

We walked back to the apartment and warmed up a bit, then went to Dominick’s and got public transport passes. My first time on the El. Woo-hoo! It was cool. No joke, though. You have to get on and get off like NOW or else those doors will close and you’ll be out of luck. You get a few seconds to act. It’s wild.

We went downtown! Saw the green river, the Navy Pier, went to the Water Tower and ate. LOTS of walking. Especially from the river to the Pier. We were tired! I was so cold I was getting mad. Ack.



The river is GREEN! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!


Tyler, me, Mark, Rob, Becky (Bizzy is the photographer here!)

Went back to the apartment to get ready for Jinnie’s (Mark’s girlfriend) 21st birthday party. The train ride back was quite adventurous. Some girl bent down in front of us and we could totally see the top of her butt. She didn’t even have on thongs or a t-back. With jeans! Gross!

Random Guy on Train: HE EATS HIS OWN FARTS!

We girls looked HOT when all was said and done! Rob told me that I was going to get hit on by so many guys and he’d be ready to beat them down for me.



Becky, me, and Bizzy.

The party was okay. It’s always awkward when you know no one! Tyler hit it off very well with a certain girl, though. Some of the people in our group got a kick out of how he was “macking.” I hit it off with a girl, but not like that! She was really cool and I want her to move to Columbus! She has such a beautiful soul. I liked her a lot and I miss her already. Here we are:



Liz and me.

Aside from Liz, the party wasn’t much fun for me though. I got sick (possibly from dinner—could not have had anything to do with the two Amaretto Sours, the Fuzzy Navel, and the two Apple Jack shots I did, right?) and spent a lot of time in Jinnie’s room being the drama princess I am, and yes, I ADMIT that I’m a drama princess. Not a queen, but a princess. Or maybe a duchess. Whatever!

Went back to the apartment, wrote in my journal, and went to bed.

I got up early Saturday morning and did more journaling. Did a word find. Did some stretching while no one could see me. At least, I think no one was watching…and I read some Scripture. It’s rare that I do that on my own accord but I needed it that morning. God and I had some serious conversing to do. And when I say serious conversing I meant raging (on my part) but I am not going to go much further into that.

People woke up around eleven or so? Ack, I’m not sure what times to use! I’d been up and I was ready and was actually falling back to sleep about this time. But everyone got up. A couple of people got showers while Rob, much to most people’s chagrin, recharged his camera battery just enough to take millions more pictures. (I actually don’t mind the pictures). I checked my email on Mark’s computer. 🙂

We left Chicago about, oh poop, I’m not even going to try to figure it out. The ride home consisted of music wars, Becky and I playing games on paper, me getting pouty during that dang “green glass door” game because I couldn’t figure it out, and us eating McDonalds for dinner.

Rob: Did it seem like cars were blurring as we passed them?

OMG, that McDonalds—albeit cool-looking, had terrible service. They forgot to give me half of my order and I had to ask for the rest of my food, and man. It was BAD. I said that the sixteen-and-under crew must be working that night. No offense to the responsible teens who read this—but I know that I couldn’t have cared less about anything other than getting paid at my job when I was sixteen. That’s that attitude they had. Not good.

And the nuggets didn’t taste that great either.

Ronni (sing-song voice): I have an extra cherry pie for anyone who wants it.
Rob turns around with cute face.

Of course he got the pie. 🙂

Can I say that I love my girls? Bizzy and Becky are amazing. I’m so glad they were there with me!

So that’s my trip in a nutshell. Woo-hoo! I can’t wait to see Mark again!

More pictures coming soon in a photo album… just wanted to give you a taste, though. 🙂 Hope you enjoyed!

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