Failure

The thing is… even though I might be doing okay in all other aspects of my life, the ones where I feel as if I failed are what moves to the forefront of my mind, blocks everything else good, and gnaws away at my stomach. *sigh*

There are just places in my life where I consistently screw up. One would think I’d learn my lesson at some point–but it doesn’t seem to be happening. So I keep failing, keep screwing up, and if I’m not careful, the depression sneaks in and grabs hold of me at that part, works its evil magic, and tries to take over.

I don’t want to go there again. Ever.

Ugh. I hate feeling like this. :(

Chit Chat

I had a busy, busy day yesterday. We left the house at about 8am and didn’t get back last night ’til nearly 11pm. We went and got Aidan, then stopped by Ty and Jolene’s place. They had never met Aidan, and we had never met little Ellie, and it turned out to be really great and way too short as usual. Ellie is the sweetest baby ever. She’s six months old and smiles, smiles, smiles. The only time she got upset was when she was hungry. She and Aidan took a real liking to each other. Ty and Jolene made us chili and they ate like 438957497 Zingers. I passed because I don’t like coconut–but Ty bought me cookie dough. :)

Jolene has this amazing camera: a Canon DSLR, and OMG. It’s sooooooo awesome. She let me take loads of pictures with it. Wow. *breathes* Of course, I took pictures with my camera as well.

After that, we headed back home. Chris drank two Red Bulls and two Starbucks Double Shots. We stopped at Best Buy where I used up the rest of my gift cards and my reward zone certificates and purchased a BOAT LOAD of DVDs:

The Wizard of Oz three-disc collector’s edition
A Different World season one (!!!)
Growing Pains season one
Clueless “whatever” edition
Titanic special collector’s edition (with 45 minutes of deleted scenes!!)
Hercules

I also got The Golden Girls season four for Chris, and he bought Aidan Danger Mouse seasons three and four. So yeah, if Chris doesn’t get a big enough bonus for us to go to Disneyworld this year, we have plenty of DVDs to keep us occupied, no? Cause he bought LOADS, I mean LOADS. It was insane, the amount of DVDs he got. Most of them I have no interest in watching.

After Best Buy, we stopped at McDonalds, then went to Chris’s mom’s house. Grandma Edna is all moved in, and she was smiling a lot. We put in the DVD of Grandpa Myron, and it was hard for me to watch. Chris’s mom started to cry. Aidan lightened the mood a LOT, though. Chris’s mom gave me a box of “75% less sugar” Trix. Walmart is the only place we can buy them around here and I refuse to go in that store.

I wish someone would release an entire DVD of Woody Woodpecker cartoons. I saw a couple of Classic Cartoon sets, and they each had ONE Woody Woodpecker episode on them. What’s up with that? I’ve been fiening for some Woody Woodpecker, but I’m not buying an entire set for ONE EPISODE that’s probably like seven minutes long. And why isn’t The Wonder Years on DVD yet???? I dunno about you, but DVD TV shows are the coolest thing EVER. Especially when the old shows are resurrected. I wish they’d put The All New Mickey Mouse Club on DVD. I’d buy them ALL in a HEARTBEAT.

Lady and the Tramp (along with loads of goodies) should be arriving for me any day now. Wheee! Chicken Little is also on my “to buy” list, because Aidan likes it a lot.

Chris and Aidan are at church now, so I’m taking the time to relax. Yesterday was long and tiring, although good. I can’t believe I managed to finish The DaVinci Code AND Elsewhere before I had to return them to the library. But good books have the ability to hold my attention, so it worked out well. But now, I have a copy of TTYL out, and I can’t find it. I’m going to renew it so I have more time to look for it. I didn’t enjoy that book, and I only read about five pages before I had to put it down. Maybe I’m getting old (NOOO) but an entire book written in IMs is a bit much.

Have I posted that before?

Anyway…

We hosted a Game Night at my house on Wednesday. Just the life group, nothing huge. We had pizza and played Apples to Apples and Scene It! Good times, good times. Chad and Ben got into yet another argument–Ben is Jewish (not sure if he is Messianic or not) and he wouldn’t eat the pizza because even though it was cheese, it was half cheese and half pepperoni. Chad was asking Ben why did he still keep kosher (especially since he’d eaten a Big Mac the other day), and round and round they went.

Ben: You give me the SAME SPIEL every time!
Chad: That’s because you ask the same six questions every time!

Good Lord.

The house is already crumbling. *sigh* Well, I had a clean house for quite a few days, so yeah.

I wasn’t planning on doing any writing yesterday. I did jot down a few ideas in my writing journal early this morning, but anything serious? I’d pretty much shelved the idea. But for some reason, I opened up Becoming Me and went to work on revising. I rewrote the ending, cut out entire chapters, and got rid of seventy-five pages of gobbledy-gook. Now it’s with my crit partner Mandy (mandywriter) and with Kelle Belle (itskels), my reader. In the meantime, I’m going to take a small break and then jump back into my WIP, all while jotting down ideas for future projects.

I love writing!

Why did it take me so long to discover the beauty of RSS Aggregators? I use Sharp Reader and I like it very much. I especially like getting all the news from the sites I visit in one spot, rather than going to loads of webpages. It’s great! :)

‘Til next time! :)

Whew!

The BECOMING ME revisions are DONE!!

I just shipped it off to crit partner. I’m sure I’ll have much work to do once she’s done with it.

I cut out so much, including entire chapters. I probably eliminated about 75 pages of unnecessary gobbledy-gook. Holy banana, I never thought I’d work on that one again. :)

Okay, I’m off to bed. The munchkin is back in town, and I need my energy to deal with him.

Now that I’m done with BM for the time being, I can get back to work on UNTITLED II and keep formulating ideas for other UNTITLEDs that keep popping into my head.

Good night/morning. :)

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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