Day: February 28, 2006

Heartbroken

Today, Aidan asked to watch the Grandpa Myron video. One, two, three times.

He watches it with such joy. “There’s my friend Grandpa Myron!!!”

I began cracking silly jokes to keep from crying.

I miss him so much.

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Failure

The thing is… even though I might be doing okay in all other aspects of my life, the ones where I feel as if I failed are what moves to the forefront of my mind, blocks everything else good, and gnaws away at my stomach. *sigh*

There are just places in my life where I consistently screw up. One would think I’d learn my lesson at some point–but it doesn’t seem to be happening. So I keep failing, keep screwing up, and if I’m not careful, the depression sneaks in and grabs hold of me at that part, works its evil magic, and tries to take over.

I don’t want to go there again. Ever.

Ugh. I hate feeling like this. :(

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