I’m on my lunchbreak. I had leftover spaghetti from last night, and a snickerdoodle cookie from Cheryl & Co. I never used to care much for Cheryl & Co. cookies. There was something a little “off” about them. I think they were too soft. But their snickerdoodles. Oh God. They’re almost better than the A Blessed Cookie Co. ones I used to eat when I worked at Nationwide. Heavenly. Perfect. Soft, delicious. Oh God. Mmmm. Snickerdoodles.

I was thinking about how much I like organizations such as Toys for Tots or Operation Christmas Child. I wish I could open something like that, but make it year-round. Kids have birthdays. Kids need clothes all the time, not just in December. I would love to start an organization and have people donate clothing and toys, and then I’d ship them to shelters and churches all over the city. I’d love to adopt a family one year. Give things to an entire family, brighten their season. Toys for the kids. Clothes for the parents. Food for a Christmas dinner. Maybe one year I’ll be able to do that.

I missed most of the donation barrels and drives this year, which disappoints me. I just didn’t have the extra cash to give this year to get a great deal of stuff. The ironic thing is that my friends are giving to me–going above and beyond to make sure I’m taken care of–and learning to accept that when I want to give so much myself is a learning experience. Flat out asking for help is hard for me. Sometimes I’ll drop hints, and hope someone offers to help me, but it’s so hard for me to go to someone and say “hey, can I borrow $30 for groceries?” Or even worse, “Can I have $30? I probably won’t be able to pay you back.” I feel like–I’ve made certain choices in my life and that I should be able to deal with those consequences–bad or good–like an adult. And for me, like an adult means not having to borrow or take money from my friends, or ask my mom for help with groceries, or even whine about being broke on my LJ. I guess I’m not so good at this being an “adult” thing, huh?

It’s not hard for me to accept the help, but it’s hard to let go of the guilt that floods in with the relief.

I’ve listened to this Canon Christmas song over 30 times today. It’s been on repeat for hours. I don’t want to get sick of it, but it’s so pretty!! I should turn it off after this time. Heh.

There should be at least two packages waiting for me when I get home after work! 🙂 Hopefully one from swankivy as well. I love packages. LOVE them. And fun mail like cards andletters. I will take a picture of my card wall this weekend. Okay, actually, it’s card closet doors–the doors to the closet that holds what Aidan calls “the fiery furnace.”

Tonight, it’s off to Midas to get my brakes looked at. I really hope it’s just the brake pads. This noise didn’t really start until the past few days. But I remember that for a month or so, when I’d stop, it would sound like a space ship stopping. That “brooooom” sound. I can’t describe it–but you hear that sound a lot at Cedar Point near the Power Tower and the Top Thrill Dragster. I wonder if that wasn’t the brakes going weird on me. I’d thought it was because of the flat tire I got a few weeks ago, but who knows? Poor Little Ronica. I’m worried about her. She’s not even five yet! Anyway, I hope today’s trip to Midas is quick and painless, and that I don’t have to bumble up my holiday travel plans. I have a feeling my mom spoiled me, and I KNOW she spoiled Aidan!

Rumour has it that the newest HP title is…. …. wait for it … …

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Oooo. Sounds SCARY!!!! I think that’s all for now. I always have a list of things to write about, but then I get on here and my mind starts wandering and I lose track and yeah. Heh. Back to work for me. Errata and errata and errata, but Handwriting PDFs like WHOA will be hitting, probably starting today!

Oh my, I just checked my inbox. AJ put a card in, and on it, there is a mean-looking dog guarding the fireplace going GRRRR and Santa looks a bit perturbed. The inside says “Good thing Santa had an exit strategy,” and there is a picture of a bone wrapped in a bow. HAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAH. Okay, I’m easily amused. Or punch drunk. Or maybe just addled from listening to Christmas Canon too many times. Still, HAHA. What a great card! HAHA. Santa’s face. The dog, he looks so pissed. And there is a reindeer looking in the window like “oh shit.” HAHAHAHA. I just found out that AJ made the card himself! HAHA. Even better! 🙂

All right. The Mountain Dew must be kicking in. Back to Errata for me. ‘Til next time!