Month: January 2008

Insomniac

I wonder if it’s the Psuedovent… but I am not the least bit sleepy, and it’s already after 10. I slept about 72 minutes last night, worked today, went to the library and the grocery store, and ate a heavy dinner. By all logic, I should be slumped over and drooling on the keyboard. Instead, I am wide awake and have no desire to go to bed.

*grumble*

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Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, I threw the proverbial pen to the ground, tore up all the paper, and threw the most unholy fit ever.

I QUIT!

I was fooling myself. I may not have been writing novels, or anything for publication, but I never stopped writing.

I am dipping my toes back into the writing world. Verla Kay’s boards don’t make me want to run and cry like they used to. A few friends of mine have finally sold, and instead of wanting to lock myself in a room and berate myself on not making that goal, I was able to be happy (albeit a bit envious) of them.

I can’t quit. It’s like telling myself not to breathe, for God’s sake.

It may have been journal entries. It may have been long, handwritten letters to friends. It may have been me completely rewriting sentences in a guide at work, just because I felt that I knew how to say it more clearly and better (and most of the time, the seniors on the project agreed with me).

I don’t know. But I never stopped writing.

I read my writer friends LJs and I am amazed at the joy they get out of writing. I remember what it was like. It was manic energy, living on ideas and characters who wouldn’t let me sleep. It was having a pounding heart because I KNEW it was coming together and meshing in a way that was pure magic. I remember working all day, tending to Aidan until his bedtime, then staying up all hours because I COULDN’T STAY AWAY. I need that back. I need writing to be fun for me again. To STAY fun for me. No more trying to impress or please or sell. Just writing for the sake of writing, because that’s when the most beautiful stories come out of me.

Energy. Passion. Strive. Creativity. Writing. Me.

I’ll try to update here more often. Thanks to you guys for not de-friending me. I update Semagic from the server regularly and nervously bite my lip, wondering who will have cut me. People rarely do.

Some of you followed me to my lilrongal journal which tickled, touched, and bewildered me. But thank you for doing so. Please keep checking there, as I will update there most often. If you haven’t friended me there, feel free to do so! :)

I think I’m finally back. For good this time.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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Friend Books

Today’s trip to the library was a good one for picking up novels by people I knew.

Today, I picked up:

I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder (lisa_schroeder)
Total Constant Order by Crissa-Jean Chappell (crissachappell)
The Opposite of Invisible by Liz Gallagher (lizgallagher)

I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about these books.

I also grabbed a couple books that came recommended from the Blue Boards:

Another Kind of Cowboy by Susan Juby
Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer (I LOVED her stuff when I was a kid!)
Evolution, Me, & Other Freaks of Nature by Robin Brande
Slam by Nick Hornby

I have NO IDEA which one to read first!!!!!

(X-Posted)

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Random Stream of Consciousness Kinda Sorta

Friday night, I craved Buffalo Wild Wings (aka b-dubs) so much that I went out, at 9:30pm, to get some.

I ordered the 12 mild wings and a side of buffalo chips. Friday night, I ate 6 wings and some of the chips. Yesterday I ate 4 wings and the rest of the chips, and marveled that I had 4 wings left. Apparently, I was given extra, which was fine because I had waited AGES for my food to be ready.

Today, about three hours ago, I ate the last four, along with some Crispy Crowns (insert registered trademark symbol here).

(On a random sidenote, did you know that Tater Tots is a registered trademark? I just found out about that late last year.)

I am craving more mild buffalo wings from b-dubs RIGHT NOW. It may be because the smell from heating up the earlier leftovers is lingering and tempting. Or it may be because I haven’t eaten a whole lot this weekend and they sound really good right now. Or, they’re just so freakin’ good that I can’t help craving them.

Do you know how hard it is not to head out RIGHT NOW?

Mmm, wings.

I didn’t go to the grocery store. I climbed into bed with a book instead. I plan to go tomorrow after work. MUST HAVE BACON.

I wonder if I should buy a bottle of the b-dubs mild sauce to have on hand. Then I can make my own dang wings.

I have to go to the library, too. I have a bunch of things due, and I have some reserves to pick up. Tomorrow is the last day for one of the reserves. So. grocery store, library. Right, then.

I post at the Wisebread forums quite a bit, especially recently, and someone suggested a Web site where one can get free meditation and relaxation music. Go here to check it out. Some of the music is really great. I love that New Age stuff.

The other night, just for shits & giggles, I went to eBay to see if they had the following things:
– a Holly Hobbie oven
– Dolly Pops

They had them both. When I saw the Holly Hobbie oven, I got choked up. You see, they had high demand toys in the 1970s too. And Holly Hobbie ovens were it. I wanted one so badly, but my mother could never find one for me. I think I’ll save the picture of it to my hard drive and look at it from time to time. Obviously, I don’t need a Holly Hobbie oven now, but to see one that I could actually own if I was willing to drop $65 or so is kind of nice.

They had the Dolly Pops fashion show toy I had when I was younger. Dolly Pops were like paper dolls, only plastic. I can’t even describe them except to say they kicked ass. I looked at the pictures of the “outfits” and giggled at the roller skating outfit; I totally had that.

Tonight, I see the Baby Skates doll I used to have. I had one of each–the black one and the white one. Yes, I was a spoiled little girl. The thing is, they weren’t put together well, and the leg always broke off. But she was still an awesome doll, and perfect for me, as I was really into roller skating back then (and I’d gotten roller skates that Christmas, too). I am also looking at some old Barbies. I have most of my old ones, but I lost my Tropical Miko, and there is the Barbie and the Rockers Diva doll I always wanted but never got. (I kind of have a thing for redhead dolls.)

Diva is expensive. I have a feeling she was hard to find then, and she is not that easy to find now.

Oh God. How tempting, to buy the toys I never had. Or toys I had but no longer do. But then that’d be more stuff to pack and move and then pack away in a box. OK, I would play with both of them, I know I would. But still. *trying to behave*

(I just got hit with an incredible urge to play Barbies.)

Speaking of nostalgia and vintage toys…. I want to see if anyone remembers this game. It was one of those games similar to Perfection or Superfection (which no one remembers! It was white, and you had to put pieces together before you could put them on the board!). You had to put a bunch of numbers in order before the thing popped and put them all over the place. The game board was black, the pegs with the numbers on them were green. I can see the game clearly in my mind, but I can’t remember the name of it. Anyone have any ideas?

And does anyone remember when Mr. Mouth had a big yellow face, not that green froggy face?

This is what I hear right now. The upstairs television BLARING. >.< People stomping around in the halls and uptairs. Doors slamming. ARGH. Annoying. Ah, TV just turned down. GOOD. But now there is a random baseline coming from somewhere, but I'm hoping it's quiet in my room. Sundays are so bittersweet. On the one hand, it's still a weekend day, but the evening m eans that Monday is here that much sooner. And twelve hours from now, I'm going to be cranky because it'll only be 9am but it will seem like I've been there for 7 hours. *sigh* C’est la vie.

Signing off, craving b-dubs more than ever now. Maybe I’ll get some for dinner tomorrow. Sike. Not after buying groceries!

Night.

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