This winter’s been a weird one. Up until this point, the weather has been scarily mild (not complaining AT ALL), but I still haven’t had much desire to go outside. And right now, even though I am fully dressed, I’m really cold.
Which is good because I will be GOOD and ready for Disney World and warm Florida temperatures. We leave at (as Seanan would say) Oh God WHY o’clock in the morning for the airport, flight takes off at 6am, and I’m hoping to be in Magic Kingdom no later than noon! This means I’ll be consuming lots of energy shots once we land in Orlando so I can be good and awake.
I am so in need of warm sun on my skin. Warm sun PERIOD. I still have loads of stuff to do before the trip, but that’s cool. It’s stuff to keep me busy until we’re there.
In yoga, we talk a lot about seeing the light in people. And I start to think about the light in people who do really bad things. Like the father who blew himself and his two sons up in his house. Or the teenager who killed her nine year old neighbor. And I wonder about their lights. Do they have a light? Has it dimmed? Am I being judgemental by even wondering about it?
This is why I avoid the news. I know that if something super important goes down, I will find out about it. But I tend to stay away from watching CNN, local news, all that stuff.
I know that’s part of why I love Disney World so much. I go there, and I’m pretty much cut off. I’m in this happy fantasy world, and life is awesome. There’s music and rides and happy people and Mickey Mouse and desserts. Oh yes, desserts. And bright colors and flowers and princesses and sunshine. Did I mention that I’m ready for sunshine?
I had a lot of stuff on my mind, but it’s all escaping me right now. I’ve been dealing with random stomach pains and my appetite’s not been so good. Trying to turn my sleeping schedule into a normal one is a 1/2 step forward, 99 steps back operation. I’m just naturally a night owl, and playing the Sims 3 from 9pm until 4am just encourages it.
I worry all the time. I worry about Aidan. I worry about my mom. I worry about money. I worry that I’m wasting my life/time/talents. I worry about death and dying. I worry that I’ll never succeed at anything (especially in Chicago, where competition is fierce and I’m really starting to question if I am cut out for it).
Am I weird?
Wait, don’t answer that. I know I’m weird.
I love this cat more than any other cat alive.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Helena and Crookshanks, but Fi is my favorite. Shhh, don’t tell any of them I said that.
I wish my blog had more readers. I mean, I write stuff, I want people to read it! I have some envy for the blogs that have 1000+ followers. I know, it’s silly. It shouldn’t be a popularity contest. I tell myself I’d rather have a smaller following of quality people who comment and interact with me, but I’d honestly like a large following of quality people who comment and interact with me. Hmm, but then again, a larger following = a bigger chance for trolls. I’ve had that. Don’t want that again.
These are just the thoughts flipping around in my brain these days.
It's Tami…I think about death and dying a lot, too. Glad to see I'm not the only one. :-/
*hugs* I miss you, you know.
My recent post Our Love Story
You are not weird at all. Have a blast in Florida.
I tried to comment on this last night but I was reading in bed on my iPad … and for some reason the comment form kept crashing! Anyhoo…
I just wanted to say I can identify with so many of these thoughts, so you're not alone. And I agree… Disney is one of the most happy, carefree places in the world. It's like it gives you PERMISSION to be childlike again. I've only gone once (when I was 9, with my parents) and the thing that stands out most in my memory, more than any ride or character or anything, is seeing my parents let go and just BELIEVE in a little bit of magic. It wasn't like they were "playing along" that it was a guy inside that Goofy-suit; they believed it WAS Goofy just as much as they believed the sky is blue. It was so good for me to see my parents like that … and I'm sure it was very good for them too.
Hope you have fun on your trip!!
It was probably Intense Debate not playing nicely! Tsk tsk!!
That's why I love Disney. See, I'm a child at heart, and it's TOTALLY OK at Disney World. It's like I can be myself and no one looks at me like I'm weird for doing so!
And apparently, I entertain Adam with the way I react to the princesses. But but but they're so pretty! π
I'll post about my trip when I get back.
My recent post Our Love Story
LOL! I felt like I was racing in the Indy 500 reading through your random thoughts! No, you're not weird just candid and honest. Most of us would never dare to put the thoughts in our head in writing for fear that we would seem abnormal in others eyes. Believe me a lot of people have the same thoughts…I know I do. Have a great day♥
Heehee. My thoughts have been racing like that a lot lately. π I'm so glad to know I'm not alone though.
My recent post Our Love Story
Weird, my thoughts have been on the same lines lately. I don't think you're alone. Just thinking how strangely warm this winter has been and the lack of snow. Sometimes, I'll go without reading the news because it's scary and depressing. I know this stuff happens, I'm not trying to be oblivious, but sometimes I don't need it in front of my face. I've been thinking about being good enough. My head says one thing but sometimes I feel another thing. And I totally get the blog thing too. For me, it's not promoting a business or making me money, so I've decided to just do what I can with it and leave it at that for now. I like writing on it and that's enjoyable to me.
I hope your vacation brings lots of fun and relaxation. Maybe you'll come back renewed! And sunshine always helps!
Exactly! Not trying to be oblivious, but not needing all that negativity in your face all the time. It's just… I believe that the media sensationalizes and milks things, which makes it even worse. Thanks for your awesome comment, Dawn.
My recent post Our Love Story
Love that first picture of you. Do you ever link up with any writing prompt hops? I think that's a good way for people to read you and become fans. I have meet & greet buttons on my website – tomorrow is Favorite Things Thursday at Katherine's Corner. Link up a favorite post and see if you gain some fans/readers.
I link up with a couple writing prompts here and there (this entry is one) but not all the time. Thanks for the tips! π
My recent post Our Love Story
Mama your not the only one I think all us of us have gone through that. Step away from the games and try and get some shut eye. I don't watch the news I check the weather and traffic and that is it. Keep your chin up! Disney is just around the corner
I've been very good lately! I try to limit my Sims playing time to once every few weeks or so. Otherwise, it does turn into an hours-long event. It drives Adam crazy. π
My recent post Our Love Story
Hope you're having a great time at Disney! We all need a little sunshine and escapism every now and then π