You all know how much I love yoga. I love the way it makes me feel, I love my community at Moksha, and I love everything I’m learning in teacher training. But I’m not perfect, and my mind isn’t always overwhelmingly positive. So, I give to you, my dear friends, my yoga confessions.
1. Sometimes, in the middle of class, I think to myself, “I hate this, why am I here? These standing poses are killing me. Oh please God NOT WARRIOR III dammit we’re doing Warrior III. I’m totally going to fall. I don’t feel like a warrior AT ALL in this pose. I feel like an idiot. Oooh, I hope we do headstand. Crap, it’s forearm balance AGAIN. I SUCKKKKK at forearm balance!! I want savasana NOW!”
2. Every once in a while, when I’m doing a pose that I know is good for me but I’m not loving, I dread knowing that I have to do it on the other side. (As an old yoga friend/teacher of mine once said: Yoga means Yeah, Oh God, Again!) People say that poses I struggle in or hate the most are the poses I should be working on. But really? Warrior III? Forearm balance? Do I have toooooo????
3. Sometimes, I just don’t want to take a vigorous class. Or any class. I KNOW. But yesterday, I went to the restorative candlelight class, and you know what? It was perfect!
I wish Moksha had more restorative classes.
4. I feel guilty when I skip class. Because if it wasn’t for a good reason (e.g. I was busy, working a gig, visiting family or friends, etc.) then it was most likely because I was just being tamasic (aka LAZY).
5. I’m really glad the yoga studio is a seven minute walk from my place. Cause there are so many times when I get the bug, about 20 minutes before a class starts, to head on over and practice. Usually that’s when I have the most awesome classes.
6. Level 2-3 classes still scare me a little bit, even though I’ve been to two and they obviously didn’t kill me.
7. I love yoga pants. Not just ANY yoga pants. The moisture-wicking capri leggings. 
You know why? Cause I have many pairs of non-moisture wicking yoga pants that are grey. And they show sweat in not so nice places. Yeah.
8. I always say I’ll never buy anything from lululemon for various reasons, but I’m totally lying! I am seriously coveting a few pairs of their awesome yoga crops and if I had a few Benjamins to drop on some, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And they have super cute tanks, like the No Limits tank. I’d totally wear the heck out of that tank.
9. I have a couple of tanks that I think know need to be retired. Every time I wear one of them, I’m afraid the “girls” are going to pop right the heck out during a forward fold or down dog.
10. I wear yoga clothes more than any other clothes these days. My laundry basket is almost all yoga clothes.
11. Ashtanga yoga and me? Not so much. I tried it once in April of 2010 and decided that I was done. Then I was in a class last week where the instructor was definitely Ashtanga-inspired, and I hated it. It’s just not for me. Mysore might be a different story–I haven’t brought myself to do it yet. Maybe this week will be the time. atha yoga anusasanam
12. For Christmas, I think I’m going to ask for a Jade Harmony yoga mat, some lululemon gift cards, and a bolster.
13. When I’m in a pose and it feels really good/easy, I worry that I’m not doing it right. Yoga is not supposed to hurt, that is true, but I should be feeling SOME sort of sensation, right? But as Daren (my teacher) says, there are always ways to go deeper into a pose so that I am feeling something. I just haven’t learned all of them yet.
14. I could do forward folds all day every day. I LOVE them.
15. I really want to do this, and I CAN, but I worry that my knees won’t allow me to do so for long. 🙁
Source: tumblr.com via Ronni on Pinterest
16. Watching Meghan Currie‘s practice videos is super inspiring. She moves so smoothly and beautifully.
I like this one because her cat gets in the way like Crookshanks gets in mine.
The teacher I am apprenticing with, Amber, has a beautiful practice like this, too.
Maybe someday I’ll feel confident enough to put a practice video of ME up on YouTube. But I doubt it.
17. On the first day of yoga teacher training, Daren asked us not to eat McDonalds or any fast food. I thought it would be hard, and it was at first. I LOVE(D) McDonald’s you guys, as terrible as it is for me… but the more I go without it, the easier it gets. And I feel all the better for it.
18. Getting an adjustment in savasana is the best.thing.ever.
19. I’m scared to do a handstand. I know I can do it. I have the strength to do it, and in class Thursday, the teacher spotted me and I floated right up. These are the things he said:
a.) I have good control when kicking up.
b.) I have the strength.
c.) He didn’t have to assist me almost at all when I went up.
So I know it’s a mental block. I’m scared I’m going to fall and hurt myself. I don’t trust that I *do* have the strength/balance to do it. The teacher gave me some neat exercises to try so that I get more confident in the strength I have.
20. As much as I love yoga, I worry that it’s inaccessible to a LOT of people. Going to a studio isn’t cheap, although I was able to play it so I was able to take three classes a week for $19. (This was before the days of my work study career there.) Not everyone can do that–their schedules may not permit it or the location just might be way too far or inconvenient. And yes, one can buy a DVD, or just practice from a book, but honestly, it’s nothing like having a teacher there to guide you. And the clothes. Of course, one doesn’t have to wear lululemon to practice yoga. Actually, a lot of my pants come from Old Navy or Target or TJ Maxx and they work fine. But it’s easy to get caught up in the “Am I good enough because I buy discount yoga clothes?”
Or maybe that’s just me. Yeah, it’s probably just me.
Still, even with those crazy thoughts bouncing around in my head, I love yoga and feel gratitude every time I get to practice. I am grateful that my editing and marketing skills are skills that Moksha finds valuable enough to offer me free yoga in exchange for my services. I’m grateful that I was given an extraordinary opportunity with the teacher training, so I get the chance to stretch my practice and my life in ways I never thought imaginable.
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The LuluLemon yoga pic is pretty awesome – sorry they have the best work out stuff ever. I am going there today to pick up some more dang pants today for my cardio work outs. Sounds like you are doing awesome. Step away from the McD’s girl that is the worst worst crap ever. I do not eat fast food but my friend was like addicted to McD’s after she stopped eating the toxic waste she felt better, could breath better {go figure} and her skin pretty much took a turn of the better. Have a great day!
Man, I wish the skin stuff was true for me! I’ve been breaking out like a teenager and it’s been months since I’ve had McD’s! I should just get a facial. I have a gift certificate for a spa….
If I had the $$ for lululemon stuff, I’d buy it. I hear a lot of good things. Thankfully, Target has nice Champion brand pants that do the job for me. And no more embarrassing sweat stains!
I also know of some people who just wear plain leggings to class, so I can go that route as well. 🙂
Leggins are good! The lululemon stuff look nice but WAY TOOOO expensive. Geez.
Everyone who has it says it worth it. But I dunno. Dropping a benjamin on one pair of pants? Back in the day, I’d have done it in a heartbeat. But not presently!
Hi Ronni. As always, I am amazed at all the fun stuff you get to do with yoga. I’m only reading and I feel… amazed. And a bit envious.
Like you said, it’s better to be in an actual class than learning yoga from a DVD. I like it when someone can correct me.
Anyway, would you know if there’s anything one can do when they have a bummed wrist? I really think I am looking at carpal tunnel syndrome on my right hand. The pain is such that it’s moving up to my elbow. It’s hard to do the downward dog or the chaturanga (sp?).
I’m amazed and I’M LIVING IT. I cannot believe how much I’m learning and experiencing. It’s been awesome so far and I still have like, a year to go.
I will ask around about the bum wrist and carpal tunnel. For now, my suggestion is to REALLY root down with your first finger and thumb on each hand. Just press down the root as much as you can (the root is the part right above your knuckle). It’s easier said than done, but that should help you take the pressure off of your wrists.
Also, contract your quadriceps so that you’re stronger in your leg and well, and press your chest toward your legs. All of that should help take pressure off of your wrist. At least in down dog. As for chatarunga, for now, I’d modify it by lowering knees, then chest/chin/belly. Rooting (as described above) might also help. Definitely get checked for carpal tunnel, though, because if you have that, it’s a contraindication for this pose and you shouldn’t even do it.
Inspired by seeing you post this the other day, I finally mustered up the courage to go check out the yoga studio that’s a 5 minute walk from me. I’ve been oogling their schedule for months but had made so many excuse not to go.
It was awesome. I want to do it all the time now.
I’m with you on your worries about the cost making it not so accessible. One of the biggest excuses I made for not trying it out despite the fact that I desperately wanted to was the cost. The studio by my apartment does a 4 for $40 deal for new students, but after that it’s $18 a class if you’re not buying a package deal…. and well… I’m in a financially precarious situation these days, and $18 a class is expensive and buying the package in bulk to get the price per class down is also hard.
Unless my money situation evens out, I’m likely either going to have to not take many classes or I’m going to have to studio hop and buy intro packages to other studios in the city… which is so less than convenient because I’d rather not leave my neighborhood.
Nikki, I am so excited that you tried and loved yoga! It really is awesome. And there are so many types. There is something for everyone.
One suggestion I have is to see if you can work out some sort of barter with your studio. I was able to get free unlimited yoga and a few other perks for doing 6 hours a week of work for them. Now the free classes are included in my TT tuition, but once that’s over, I’ll still have the work study.
If you can swing that, it works out great. Not only do you get the free yoga, but you really get to be part of the community. It couldn’t hurt to talk to someone.
I hope something works out for you. I really do feel like it’s out of reach, and the thing is that yoga teachers don’t even get paid that much! You have to do it because you love it.
Good luck!
That’s a really good idea. I’ll have to inquire and see if there’s anything I could do to help.
Good luck and let me know what happens. I hope they can work something out for you. <3