I am Ronni
I wonder if I’ll be OK.
I hear music playing from my Spotify “writing” playlist
I see words on a screen. A black cat curled up on a TARDIS blanket. An open Gossip Girls book. My cellphone. Mickey Mouse. Lots of Mickey Mouse.
I want my trip with Aidan to get here!
I am impatient, dreaming, silly, tense, worrying.

I pretend I’m famous/important. At least I do in my head.
I feel unsettled today. But the medicine should be kicking in soon and that should stabilize me.
I touch Fi. He likes for me to pet his head.
I worry about my Mommy. About Fi. About money. About if Aidan will one day decide he hates me.
I cry when I’m feeling extra emotional and not strong enough to fight it.
I am in love with my grey Mickey Mouse hat.

I understand the way certain things are, and I hate that they’re that way.
I say nothing very important, these days. Just a lot of silliness really.
I dream about living in a bigger place in a warmer climate. Being a NYT-Bestseller. Never having to worry about money. Going on book tours, meeting other writers and readers. Having livery pick me up and take me places. Going on talk shows. Going to Disney World all the time. Having a flat tummy.
I try to write every day to realize at least some parts of that dream.
I hope at least two parts of that dream comes true!
I am strong.

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