family

Bittersweet

Friday night, I was at my brother-in-law Josh’s wedding rehearsal. He and his fiancee Kelly have been together for a long, long time. I remember when they were just friends, and he bought her a tennis bracelet for Christmas. It was obvious he was in love with her then. I remember how much fun I had with him when we went shopping for her engagement ring. That’s the last time I really got to hang out with Josh. I miss that. Growing up makes you so busy. It’s kind of sad.

So, they were going through all the vows and things. I kind of numbed myself to the whole thing. I think if I let my mind really dig deep, I would have gotten upset. So many people just gloss over those vows, never follow them, constantly break them. The person who is supposed to be the one who never hurts you ends up hurting you the worst ever. And you wonder if you made a huge mistake.

I was sitting there, watching them at the altar, and wondering if they really knew what those vows meant. If they had any idea what they were getting themselves into. If they were taking them seriously. If they knew how freakin’ hard marriage really is? Sometimes, I want to run after all these engaged couples screaming DON’T DO IT! Especially if one or both parties have the slightest misgiving.

But who am I to judge their situations? Heck, what do I know about successful marriages anyway?

It’s so hard for me to be happy for others in the midst of my own struggles, and that makes me feel like a rotten person. I’m letting my junk contaminate my ability to feel joy for them, and that’s unfair.

Seriously, anyone considering marriage or on their way down that aisle, stop and think. MEDITATE on the vows. Try to imagine how hard it can and probably will be. Realize that this is supposed to be FOREVER. You’re to be with this person forever. Look past the gloss and the heady feelings of love and passion. And think long and hard before saying yes. The wedding is the easy part. The real work begins once the honeymoon is over.

You know, this is probably really bad to say. But I’m going to say it anyway. I wonder if God doesn’t trick us into marriage. He says no sex outside of marriage, so you’re with this person, you’re on FIRE for this person–you end up getting married (partially) so you can DO IT. Then the passion passes away, and you’re left with this HUMAN. And you’re thinking “Now what do I do with him/her?” Then again, maybe marriage was perfect back in the day, before Eve ate the forbidden fruit. It’s all fun and games ’til you eat from the Tree of Knowledge! Heh.

I don’t know. I didn’t do it the ‘right way,’ so I’ll never know what could have been. I just know all that’s wrong. :(

I’m rambling too much, so I’m going to bed now. Sorry if my entry hurts or offends you–I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

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Sunday!

I had a very busy weekend. Friday night, I went to Starbucks to listen to Garth and Tim play. THEY SOUNDED AWESOME. I mean, I’m talking, star quality. Tim has the IT FACTOR. I think he could be famous. Afterwards, I stopped over at Josh, Garth and Brian’s to watch Return of the King. Honestly, I was just going for the fellowship. I didn’t give 2 bananas about the movie. (Now is the part where I duck!) I fell asleep on Fellowship, never saw Two Towers, so it really was pointless for me to go and watch ROTK, right? So, when Monica came and told me that my presence had been requested at Kelly’s surprise birthday party, I jumped at the chance. Now, THAT was cool. They had a projector and were showing movies on the back of the house on a sheet. Good times. Headed to Garth’s to hug him goodbye, then came home.

Saturday, we headed to Cleveland to see Mommy. :) It had been a while, so it was time. We all had a really good time. Treated us to yummy, yummy, YUMMY food! I never knew how delicious Ruby Tuesday’s steaks were. :) Then we went to Marc’s. Why is that place awesome? And CHEAP?

After Marc’s, we went back to Mommy’s and just relaxed. You know, she lives right down the street from Geauga Lake, and we passed it a couple of times. It’s really sad how dead that amusement park is. There were very few cars in the lot, and small crowds. On a nice Saturday. What is up with that?

During dinner, the cheese fiasco happened. While the burgers were grilling, Mommy mentioned that she had mozzerella cheese. I got a quick idea and asked if she had tomato sauce. She did. I asked for a pizza burger. So, Chris makes me this pizza burger. I take a bite and realize it’s awfully spicy. Now, no one else has spicy burgers. Then Greg, my stepfather, starts to say HIS sandwich is spicy. Chris SWEARS that he didn’t put pepper or anything on our burgers. But why were they spicy?

Turns out that Chris used PEPPERJACK cheese instead of mozzarella. HOLY banana, that stuff was hot. Once I got that cheese off, the burger was yummy. ;)

We drove back home Saturday night, and got in a bit after midnight. I played on the PC, bathed, and slept. Got up for Sunday school and church, which was awesome, of course. After Sunday school, we headed to BW3s for lunch. YUMMMM YUMM YUMMY! That food was so good. Then I hung out at Chad & Christy’s while Chris went to play Frisbee golf with his friends. Then we went to Heidi’s good-bye party. After that, we went to another party thrown by Corey. But Aidan got tired so we only stayed a bit over an hour.

I had a busy and fun day, filled with lots of great people. That always makes me smile. I also took lots of pictures. Will try to have them up by the end of the week.

Well, I have to go to bed now, and get ready for another week of craziness. Night!

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