ronni

I Don’t Get It

Oh My Goddddddd

People have been posting things that they like that other people don’t, or things that they hate that everyone else seems to love. I’m going to post things that I just don’t understand. Because some things really and truly baffle me.

-one-
why people make such huge deals out of their own birthdays

OK, I might be am biased and/or even a bit resentful. My birthday is five days before Christmas, so I’ve gotten used to people not giving a crap about mine. In fact, if a big deal IS made out of my birthday, I resist it because it feels weird. Most of them time, my birthday’s been forgotten, no one showed up to my parties, and there was the one year I was told: “Oh, it’s your birthday? I forgot. Hmm. Well, grab something from under the tree and that can be your birthday present.” My 21st birthday? I was up late by myself at my parent’s apartment watching VH1 and drinking a Tahitian Treat spiked with Bacardi. I KNOW. (Does Tahitian Treat even exist anymore? Did I just totally date myself?) So, when people plan these huge blowout extravaganzas for themselves, or have these week- or month-long celebrations, especially for a birthday that’s not even a milestone, I get confused. I get even more confused when people actually show up to these big blowouts.

I got fed up when I was participating in these birthday celebrations for everyone else and never got any acknowledgement for my birthday. I got mad when a bunch of us planned a surprise party for a roommate who did nothing but sigh and look depressed when we said “surprise” and started loading her up with gifts. I got depressed when this continued year after year, with people saying “we’ll do something for you after Christmas,” but something never happened.

(To be fair, it’s not that way now and hasn’t been for a very long time. People tend to remember my birthday before I remember it these days. Honestly. I wake up like “why are there so many Facebook notifi-Oh.” But it’s not me making the big deal. It’s everyone else. I guess it’s making up for all those years in the past.)

And I’m kind of a hypocrite here. Because I did plan a huge blowout for my 30th birthday AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY SHOWED UP.

Cutting the Cake!
see? actual people in the background!

BUT, in my defense, it was a milestone birthday, my ex and I used to throw some pretty awesome parties, and it was my voyage into real adulthood. *gulp* I haven’t had any more big parties like that since–I just don’t want to plan a big thing and have no one show up. That would be heartbreaking.

-two-
why, in the name of all that is holy, would anything think they need to own a Hummer or another vehicle of similar size, in a gridlocked city like Chicago

When I was pregnant, I fell into the SUV trap. I wanted one because well, that’s what you DID when you had a baby. You got married, got pregnant, bought a house, then got an SUV or minivan and damned if I was going to be seen driving a minivan. So, Aidan’s dad and I got a cute silver Hyundai Santa Fe. (Once I got my license, though, I went with the Hyundai Accent that I still have to this day).

My First Car
santa fe in the back, accent in the front
this was my house in ohio

I’m small, so I like small cars. I’m comfortable in them, they fit into little parking spots, and can weasel around in traffic. I am also not a road bully, and I find that people who drive the big, black SUVs (including Hummers) are sometimes major road bullies. (Just yesterday, Adam was trying to get into one of the tinier parking lots to get to the bank–there was already a car in front of us, and that car was waiting on someone to get out of a parking space–when a big black SUV came around to the side–out of nowhere–and literally tried to cut in front of us to get into this parking lot. They would have rammed us if we hadn’t moved right away.) Not to mention the gas guzzling! Gas in Chicago costs between $4 and $5 a gallon. WHY would you want to drive something that’s going to set you back more than $100 with every fill up? Not to mention the environmental impact. I don’t get it. But you know, it’s not my money, so to each his/her own I suppose.

-three-
why people love going to bars so much

Even when I was young and wild (BAHAHAHAHABAHAHAHA), I didn’t care for going to bars. I liked going to clubs, but not bars. I mean, at a club, I could dance my butt off. Mecca on Thursday, Mecca on Friday, and The Red Zone on Saturday. I danced for hours, and it was awesome. I didn’t need to get drunk, and I was there to dance, not socialize, so I didn’t care that the music was loud. In fact, the louder the better.

I realized my true distaste for bars a few years ago when Adam had to attend a bunch of events that took place in bars and I was tagging along. I was thankful that the no smoking rule was in effect, but instead of cigarette smoke, there was the yeasty smell of beer. (I hate beer.) People were screaming to be heard over not-so-good bands or too loud jukeboxes or TVs blaring whatever sports games were playing that night. I guess I don’t truly get the appeal of watching Southpark in a bar when I can be home watching it in my PJs and drinking a nice glass of cherry juice.

However, I did learn a trick in December. I overcame my hatred of bars to meet a bunch of co-workers at a bar one evening. I realized that the drunker I got, the more fun I had!

Silent Night...Not So Much
i’m smiling because i’m drunk!
oh, and because i like all those people.

So maybe that’s the trick to enjoying oneself in bars? Or maybe that’s just me. All I know is that if I’m a bar in the future and having a craptastic time, that all I need are a couple amaretto sours, maybe a shot or two of tequila and Bailey’s, and a fuzzy navel to have a rockin’ good time. *big cheesy grin*

-four-
why everyone’s so obsessed with beer

Piggy backing off the last one, I don’t understand why everyone loves beer so much. Beer is NASTY. I’m talking screw-up-your-face-and-almost-ugly-cry nasty. Not to mention the aftertaste. Blech! I remember in college, trying to force down a can of Coors Light (which was actually better than any other I’d tried) and thinking “Oh God, why can’t they have WINE COOLERS or something?” I was told “It’s an acquired taste.”

Y’all. I am a lazy mofo. And if I have to “acquire a taste” to get drunk? I’m just going to skip getting drunk. (Also getting busted by the RA holding a can of beer I DIDN’T EVEN LIKE made it suck that much more.)

Then I was told, “Beer is cheap.”

OH. OK. Now it made sense. I was happy when I finally turned 21 and was able to purchase my own cheap bottles of Boone’s Farm or Arbor Mist. (They were right. Wine coolers were expensive.)

-five-
the new trend in parties

When I throw parties or have get togethers, I try to treat my guests well. If people are going to travel all the way out to hang with me and my family, then I’m going to make it worth their while. Reference the above photo of me cutting the cake at my 30th birthday party. That was just the crudite and cheese/cracker portion of the food we provided. There was also lunch meat, breads, chicken… all sorts of foods and beverages. Basically, if you leave any party I throw hungry, it’s your own dang fault. The past few New Year’s Eves, Adam and I had little get togethers. We had food out for people to enjoy at all of them.

It used to be that anytime someone threw a party, there was going to be something to eat there. Maybe they’d have asked us to bring sides or desserts, but they always provided something big, whether it be the biggest pizzas on this natural earth, or grilling the hot dogs, chicken, and hamburgers, or even providing all the booze, (not to mention offering their space and video game systems and fire pits and whatnot), but we could expect to be fed with no strings attached.

But NOW there’s this trend of people throwing parties and expecting their guests to provide ALL THE FOOD (except for a few things here and there). And I don’t get that. I’m inviting you to my home to celebrate something with me, so I want to make you happy that you came. I want your company and your smile and your hugs, I don’t want you stressing over what you need to bring. I’ve been getting invites to things that not only suggest guests BYOB, but that we also bring meat, sides, snacks, desserts, and even seating. OK, I get that the economy sucks and it’s hard to fund epic catered events–but I’d never ask my guests to bring food to something like a shower, and I’d certainly not ask them to bring what basically amounts to the entire meal!

Often, if we have a get together, people will ask what can they bring. I tell them to PLEASE not feel obligated, but if they want, dessert is always welcome! If they have their heart set on bringing something to share, I’m not going to turn it down. For our New Year’s celebration, Jen brought over a pot of Provencal soup she’d made. We didn’t ask her to bring it, though. She offered. I wouldn’t have thought less of her if she hadn’t brought a thing. I was just happy to have her here. (Note: It seems to be a custom to bring a bottle of wine or something when you come to someone’s home, and I admit that I’ve been woefully ignorant of that tradition until recently.)

I figure unless the guests have decided collectively that the event is going to be a potluck, it’s not cool to send someone an invite to a party with the stipulation that they provide so much. I mean, depending on the type of party, I’m OK with having people bring side dishes or beverages, but I’m still skeptical of asking people to do even that.

My take is that if you can’t afford or don’t want to buy food for a party, either don’t have one, or have it at a time that meals normally aren’t served so that guests won’t be expecting to eat. Cause I have skipped out on some parties because although I wanted to see the people there, I didn’t feel like cooking or trying to come up with something clever to take, or I didn’t have the money to buy something to take. It was easier for me to stay home.

This is not to say that those parties are WRONG. They seem very popular, in fact. It’s just different from what I am used to.

So, there you have it, folks. Things I just don’t understand. What makes you go WTF?

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Fifteen Things I Won’t Apologize For

Photo on 04-02-2012 at 8.14 p.m.>

I got the idea for this from Jennifer at Life in the Green House.

When I was younger, I had no problems changing my likes and personality to make people like me. Or to make them happy. As I grow older, I am now finding that crazy girl who buried her true self to please others.

I won’t apologize for…

My Disney World obsession. Going to those parks makes me happy, they’re a ton of fun, and I get to be a part of a world that’s magical and awesome.

Playing FarmVille. It’s fun and it relaxes me! πŸ™‚

Liking pop music. Well, maybe not most of the current pop music, but the pop music of the early 2000s and the 1990s. Yes, I am a Britney Spears fan, what! And my ringtone might or might not be Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana….

Having pink as my favorite color. Pink is pretty, it’s light, and it makes me happy. So there.

My doll collection. I enjoy looking at all my pretty dolls. I do need to do more with them, like take more photos and such. Thank goodness I have a bit more time to do those things now.

My voices. I use a lot of different voices to express how I feel or what I think. It irritates some people, but I can’t care about that anymore. It’s who I am and how I relate.

Reading YA novels. YA novels typically get to the point quicker. I know there are people who judge all YA based on Twilight, but they’re all not like that all. Seriously. Pick up Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, or Dreamland by Sarah Dessen and then try to tell me that YA is a bunch of dumbed down teenage fantasies. Because you’d be wrong. Just sayin’.

Enjoying my life. I have so much to be thankful for. My friends, family, yoga, the cats. So many blessings. There is no reason for me to not embrace and love it all.

My large number of coats. I’m very temperature sensitive, and every coat I have caters to specific types of weather. I get cold very easily, and it takes me a long time to warm up. I have to dress accordingly. Which can be hard in Chicago.

My large number of purses/bags. I have to have purses to match my coats! πŸ™‚

The fact that I eat a LOT of spaghetti. I’ve always loved spaghetti. Ever since I was a little girl. It’s such a simple, inexpensive, and delicious dish. It’s quick and easy and tasty, and I’ve spent many a happy evening watching The OC and eating spaghetti. Good times.

Treating myself. If I don’t treat myself well, then why should anyone else treat me well? That doesn’t mean being all selfish and indulgent at the cost of others, but why not have a massage or a $4 smoothie every once in a while? As long as I’ve taken care of the things that needed to be taken care of, there is no reason why I can’t have a little extra fun sometimes.

Phone marathons with my mom. I don’t talk to her every day, so when we do talk, we make up for lost time, so to speak. We go on and on about Aidan, foods, life. She updates me on Cleveland and the family, and I tell her what’s going on with me.

Being a kid at heart. Who wants to be stuffy and “mature” all the time, anyway? Where’s the fun in never smiling or laughing at Spongebob or something silly? Why not play with dolls or enjoy buying toys for my little boy? I’m having a blast and I’m not going to stop to please anyone.

Being me. I’m still figuring out who “me” is, but sometimes, I even kinda like her.

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YOGA: Yeah, Oh God, Again

Pink

You all know how much I love yoga. I love the way it makes me feel, I love my community at Moksha, and I love everything I’m learning in teacher training. But I’m not perfect, and my mind isn’t always overwhelmingly positive. So, I give to you, my dear friends, my yoga confessions.

1. Sometimes, in the middle of class, I think to myself, “I hate this, why am I here? These standing poses are killing me. Oh please God NOT WARRIOR III dammit we’re doing Warrior III. I’m totally going to fall. I don’t feel like a warrior AT ALL in this pose. I feel like an idiot. Oooh, I hope we do headstand. Crap, it’s forearm balance AGAIN. I SUCKKKKK at forearm balance!! I want savasana NOW!”

2. Every once in a while, when I’m doing a pose that I know is good for me but I’m not loving, I dread knowing that I have to do it on the other side. (As an old yoga friend/teacher of mine once said: Yoga means Yeah, Oh God, Again!) People say that poses I struggle in or hate the most are the poses I should be working on. But really? Warrior III? Forearm balance? Do I have toooooo????

3. Sometimes, I just don’t want to take a vigorous class. Or any class. I KNOW. But yesterday, I went to the restorative candlelight class, and you know what? It was perfect!

I wish Moksha had more restorative classes.

4. I feel guilty when I skip class. Because if it wasn’t for a good reason (e.g. I was busy, working a gig, visiting family or friends, etc.) then it was most likely because I was just being tamasic (aka LAZY).

5. I’m really glad the yoga studio is a seven minute walk from my place. Cause there are so many times when I get the bug, about 20 minutes before a class starts, to head on over and practice. Usually that’s when I have the most awesome classes.

6. Level 2-3 classes still scare me a little bit, even though I’ve been to two and they obviously didn’t kill me.

7. I love yoga pants. Not just ANY yoga pants. The moisture-wicking capri leggings. You know why? Cause I have many pairs of non-moisture wicking yoga pants that are grey. And they show sweat in not so nice places. Yeah.

8. I always say I’ll never buy anything from lululemon for various reasons, but I’m totally lying! I am seriously coveting a few pairs of their awesome yoga crops and if I had a few Benjamins to drop on some, I’d do it in a heartbeat. And they have super cute tanks, like the No Limits tank. I’d totally wear the heck out of that tank.

9. I have a couple of tanks that I think know need to be retired. Every time I wear one of them, I’m afraid the “girls” are going to pop right the heck out during a forward fold or down dog.

10. I wear yoga clothes more than any other clothes these days. My laundry basket is almost all yoga clothes.

11. Ashtanga yoga and me? Not so much. I tried it once in April of 2010 and decided that I was done. Then I was in a class last week where the instructor was definitely Ashtanga-inspired, and I hated it. It’s just not for me. Mysore might be a different story–I haven’t brought myself to do it yet. Maybe this week will be the time. atha yoga anusasanam

12. For Christmas, I think I’m going to ask for a Jade Harmony yoga mat, some lululemon gift cards, and a bolster.

13. When I’m in a pose and it feels really good/easy, I worry that I’m not doing it right. Yoga is not supposed to hurt, that is true, but I should be feeling SOME sort of sensation, right? But as Daren (my teacher) says, there are always ways to go deeper into a pose so that I am feeling something. I just haven’t learned all of them yet.

14. I could do forward folds all day every day. I LOVE them.

15. I really want to do this, and I CAN, but I worry that my knees won’t allow me to do so for long. πŸ™


Source: tumblr.com via Ronni on Pinterest

16. Watching Meghan Currie‘s practice videos is super inspiring. She moves so smoothly and beautifully.


I like this one because her cat gets in the way like Crookshanks gets in mine.

The teacher I am apprenticing with, Amber, has a beautiful practice like this, too.

Maybe someday I’ll feel confident enough to put a practice video of ME up on YouTube. But I doubt it.

17. On the first day of yoga teacher training, Daren asked us not to eat McDonalds or any fast food. I thought it would be hard, and it was at first. I LOVE(D) McDonald’s you guys, as terrible as it is for me… but the more I go without it, the easier it gets. And I feel all the better for it.

18. Getting an adjustment in savasana is the best.thing.ever.

19. I’m scared to do a handstand. I know I can do it. I have the strength to do it, and in class Thursday, the teacher spotted me and I floated right up. These are the things he said:
a.) I have good control when kicking up.
b.) I have the strength.
c.) He didn’t have to assist me almost at all when I went up.

So I know it’s a mental block. I’m scared I’m going to fall and hurt myself. I don’t trust that I *do* have the strength/balance to do it. The teacher gave me some neat exercises to try so that I get more confident in the strength I have.

20. As much as I love yoga, I worry that it’s inaccessible to a LOT of people. Going to a studio isn’t cheap, although I was able to play it so I was able to take three classes a week for $19. (This was before the days of my work study career there.) Not everyone can do that–their schedules may not permit it or the location just might be way too far or inconvenient. And yes, one can buy a DVD, or just practice from a book, but honestly, it’s nothing like having a teacher there to guide you. And the clothes. Of course, one doesn’t have to wear lululemon to practice yoga. Actually, a lot of my pants come from Old Navy or Target or TJ Maxx and they work fine. But it’s easy to get caught up in the “Am I good enough because I buy discount yoga clothes?”

Or maybe that’s just me. Yeah, it’s probably just me.

Still, even with those crazy thoughts bouncing around in my head, I love yoga and feel gratitude every time I get to practice. I am grateful that my editing and marketing skills are skills that Moksha finds valuable enough to offer me free yoga in exchange for my services. I’m grateful that I was given an extraordinary opportunity with the teacher training, so I get the chance to stretch my practice and my life in ways I never thought imaginable.

Yoga RULES!


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Teach

Lilacs

As I move along in my training, I’ve started giving thought to the kind of yoga teacher I want to be. For a while, I’d thought I wanted to teach children, but no. Then I thought about teaching hatha–for I enjoy hatha yoga the most. I’ve also thought about restorative yoga. See, I’m not an athletic person. I don’t like aerobics, unless it’s low impact. I like cardio, but I do not like running, jumping, that sort of thing. So what business would I have teaching it?

I like hatha yoga because it allows one to really get into the pose. You hold the poses longer than you would in vinyasa (which is more of a flow) or ashtanga (which is pretty aggressive), but you’re still working. BELIEVE ME, you are still working. I like that deep work in a pose, especially the heart openers or the hip openers or the forward folds. Like, when you’re right at your edge, and you think you can’t take it anymore, then something releases, and you relax into the pose. Love that.

I want to be the kind of teacher who helps her students *get that*. Who inspires them. I want students who love and respect me, and who generally enjoy coming to my class. But right now, I’m having a hard time taking myself seriously as a teacher, probably because I’m still SUCH a student. And it’s true–one is always a student of yoga–but I’m REALLY a student! One day I was practice teaching, and it just felt so weird to tell people to do things and watch them actually DO IT. I’m sure that’s something I’ll get over… but it’s still a bit odd.

I can’t ignore the fact that instead of singing in the shower, most of the time I’m making up yoga practices, or practicing my cueing. Is that weird? Sometimes I can’t sleep because I’m trying to put together the perfect practice in my mind. Yeah, it’s definitely weird.

Every week in teacher training, we practice teach, either with a partner or a small group. I’m learning that I am SILLY. I’m going to be one of those teachers, like Moksha’s Rich Logan, who’ll have the entire class cracking up while trying to hold a pose. And honestly? I would LOVE that. Yoga doesn’t have to be all serious and frowny face all the time. I love when I can laugh during a pose. A lot of people do. His class was packed today!

I know I have time to worry about it, and I have time to find my voice. First, I need to get the cueing down and keep learning as much as I can. Then everything else will fall into place, just as this entire journey keeps falling into place. I can’t believe how amazing it’s been.


linking up here:

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What I Wore: Wedding Edition

So, this is my first and probably last ever What I Wore link up post. You know how I am about fashion. As in, I have no sense of it whatsoever. But I couldn’t help but hop on this What I Wore: Wedding Edition one from Absolute Mommy because well, it’s easy! πŸ™‚

Adam and I got married July 27, 2008. It was a guerilla style wedding. We told a bunch of friends we were going to “elope” at Edgewater Beach at 10:30 am, and if they wanted to join us, they were more than welcome. We had a pretty good turnout, too! πŸ™‚

Adam and I…we just are not into huge, formal events. We wanted to spend most of our money on our Disneymoon. So, we kept it very simple.

I wore a simple sundress off the rack from Macy’s:

Ronni is Happy!

A string of pearls that I’m actually not sure where they came from. (Probably my mom.) I found them in my jewelry box and thought they were perfect.

Getting Ready

My shoes were a simple pair of white sandals from Payless. But mostly, I was barefoot.

The Bride

My bouquet was made by my ex-husband; that was his gift to me. Isn’t it pretty? I told him he needs to go into business.

My Bouquet

But here is the most important thing.

Getting Ready

Didn’t want to be funky on my wedding day, now did I? πŸ™‚

I remember feeling so excited that day. I got up and blasted that Andrews Sisters wedding day song. I ate a lemon donut.

Having Some Breakfast

And I was surrounded by so much love! The weather was perfect and there were dragonflies flying over the lake.

It was a good day.

Ronni & Adam

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