Lilacs

As I move along in my training, I’ve started giving thought to the kind of yoga teacher I want to be. For a while, I’d thought I wanted to teach children, but no. Then I thought about teaching hatha–for I enjoy hatha yoga the most. I’ve also thought about restorative yoga. See, I’m not an athletic person. I don’t like aerobics, unless it’s low impact. I like cardio, but I do not like running, jumping, that sort of thing. So what business would I have teaching it?

I like hatha yoga because it allows one to really get into the pose. You hold the poses longer than you would in vinyasa (which is more of a flow) or ashtanga (which is pretty aggressive), but you’re still working. BELIEVE ME, you are still working. I like that deep work in a pose, especially the heart openers or the hip openers or the forward folds. Like, when you’re right at your edge, and you think you can’t take it anymore, then something releases, and you relax into the pose. Love that.

I want to be the kind of teacher who helps her students *get that*. Who inspires them. I want students who love and respect me, and who generally enjoy coming to my class. But right now, I’m having a hard time taking myself seriously as a teacher, probably because I’m still SUCH a student. And it’s true–one is always a student of yoga–but I’m REALLY a student! One day I was practice teaching, and it just felt so weird to tell people to do things and watch them actually DO IT. I’m sure that’s something I’ll get over… but it’s still a bit odd.

I can’t ignore the fact that instead of singing in the shower, most of the time I’m making up yoga practices, or practicing my cueing. Is that weird? Sometimes I can’t sleep because I’m trying to put together the perfect practice in my mind. Yeah, it’s definitely weird.

Every week in teacher training, we practice teach, either with a partner or a small group. I’m learning that I am SILLY. I’m going to be one of those teachers, like Moksha’s Rich Logan, who’ll have the entire class cracking up while trying to hold a pose. And honestly? I would LOVE that. Yoga doesn’t have to be all serious and frowny face all the time. I love when I can laugh during a pose. A lot of people do. His class was packed today!

I know I have time to worry about it, and I have time to find my voice. First, I need to get the cueing down and keep learning as much as I can. Then everything else will fall into place, just as this entire journey keeps falling into place. I can’t believe how amazing it’s been.


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