Why did no one ever tell me that chasing my dreams would be so scary?
Shaking & Quaking
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ronni
Upper Respiratory Infection
I am officially sick again. I went to the doctor today and he said that I have an upper respiratory infection, and wrote me an excuse for today and tomorrow. So I’ll be staying home again. Aidan is going with his grandmother for 1/2 day so I can get some rest. Chris hinted that it was unfair for me to engage a “sitter” when I’m not going to work. It’s not like I’m sitting here and partying, though. I’m resting so I can feel better. Aidan and I will probably sleep all afternoon anyway. At least, I hope that’s the case.
I don’t have much of an appetite at all. From time to time I get a craving for something fast-food and fried, but I squash it. I have a headache that comes and goes. Coughing fits. I feel very weak and shaky. The doctor put me on lots and lots of antibiotics and special cough medicine pills–the same stuff I had in December. Aidan and I slept for four hours this evening. He’s still very sick too. But when we give him his Tylenol with codeine, he turns into normal Aidan for all of fifteen minutes before he is cranky and crying again. Poor little booba.
The soldier that lives behind us came home from Iraq over the weekend. He’s like a year early. I was going to Bible Study on Sunday when I noticed the flags on the street and the big welcome home sign for him.
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Stuff and Contemplation
I can’t seem to dip below ten emails that need attention in my AOL mailbox. Everytime I clear one away, two or three more pop up in its place! So, I’m a little bit behind. Megan and Ashlee, forgive me! You’re flagged for follow-up.
I’m exhausted. Emotionally and physically. Anger is a pretty intense emotion. I’m not a fan of feeling it. I think I’m most comfortable somewhere between sad and really effing depressed, with a little anxiety/stress thrown in. And happiness. Ay yi yi. Feeling true happiness is so strange for me.
Counseling today was mostly EMDR. My thoughts go kind of crazy during EMDR. Emotions and thoughts are all over the place. It’s draining but was fun during the “think of things that make Ronni happy” part.
My throat is not happy. It’s kind of scratchy. I could go for a long sleep, but I have sort of a long evening ahead. I’m considering not even stopping at home; if I go there, I’m not leaving! And I have Grove stuff to do tonight.
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When I Was…
From: Random Acts of Journaling…
When I was five…
I loved…playtime
I hated…being quiet
I wanted…toys
I feared…nothing
When I was ten…
I loved…Barbie Dolls
I hated…salmon patties
I wanted…more Barbie Dolls
I feared…thunderstorms
When I was fifteen…
I loved…Joey McIntyre (New Kids on The Block)
I hated…not having a boyfriend
I wanted…my first kiss
I feared…being grounded
When I was twenty…
I loved…Mike
I hated…math
I wanted…the fun of college without the work
I feared…dying before I got baptised
When I was twenty-five…
I loved…Chris
I hated…certain people
I wanted…respect
I feared…being poor
When I was thirty…
I loved…Aidan
I hated…Christianity (not Jesus or God, but all the crap that surrounds the ‘religion’)
I wanted…no comment
I feared…my future
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The Night Owl In Me…
…says “NO, it’s NOT time to sleep!”
But the practical me says “You’re going to be tired as hell so GET TO BED NOW.”
And the fun-loving whimsical me says “Who cares? It was worth it and besides, that’s what they make Red Bull for.”
devil eyes…garden state…ding dongs…kool-aid…buddy the elf…loads of pictures…maniacal laughter (that may have only been me)
Let me just say that I’m in love with my friends. 😀 I’ll do anything for them.
And American Idol! Haha, some of those people. Dang.
Long day ahead. Work, Aidan, Craig’s for a bit, then drama club meeting. I’ll be out ’til 9pm at least. I think I’ll be turning in quite early. Like, once I get home early. Meep. I’m thinking a lunchtime conference room nap will be on the agenda for sure. I love those. 🙂
Looking forward to the weekend! 🙂
Yeah, sleepiness finally creeping in. I ate WAY too much today, remind me not to be so dang greedy in the future. I’m going to be up ten pounds in no time and that is never good.
(Not to mention the stomach ache. Ack.)
I want to take the day off of work. But I won’t. But man, it’s soooo tempting. I’m thinking one day off a month can’t hurt too badly, can it?
Good night!
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