Sick = No Fun

I started to feel nauseated around 11pm. I thought it was the fried-food smell in my apartment–sometimes that scent throws me off. I burned a Nag Champa and went to bed. The Nag Champa did its job of covering the smell, and it also did its relaxing me trick. But the nausea was still there, just hiding under the Nag Champa magic. I was able to ignore it enough to fall asleep.

About 2am, I woke up, throwing the covers off of me, feeling REALLY bad. I knew something had to happen, just wasn’t sure what. Then I was all too sure. ๐Ÿ™ Doubley-sure, if you know what I mean.

I think Ramen noodles need to be excluded from my diet forever and ever and ever. ๐Ÿ™

I took the morning off from work to recover, and will be heading out into the freezing cold 19ยบF temps in a few minutes. Ack.

Still feeling tired. I don’t do it that often (thank goodness), but upchucking is really, really exhausting. Blah. Add that to the fact that there is no food in me (you’ll understand why I’m scared to put some in), I could totally sleep for another six to eight hours.

But now it’s off to work time. See ya.

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Sunday (Pictures)

Earlier, I was writing a LJ update on my laptop when it overheated and shut off. ๐Ÿ™ I can’t wait to get the notebook fan I ordered from HiPoints. I’ve been a member of Harris Poll online for years, and I’d accumulated over 13,000 points. I wasn’t impressed with anything in the 10,000 point folio, so I decided to get several little things. So here’s what I ordered:

1. programmable wireless optical mouse
2. notebook fan thingy
3. 1-year subscription to Glamour magazine
4. cordless Dirt Devil vac

I love shopping when I don’t have to spend any money. They even cover shipping!

That also means getting packages in the mail over the next several weeks, so yay for that.

Spent the weekend with little Aidan. He’s so cute. He gets so wound up over the smallest things sometimes. He totally got that from his dad. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Other than that, he’s hilarious. Some of the things he comes up with, I’m just amazed. And watching him fall asleep at night. It’s the most precious thing to see. I’m so lucky to have such a cuddly, beautiful little boy. ๐Ÿ™‚

My Little Model Puppy Aidan!

He left about 10:30 this morning, and I immediately went back to bed, and read. Then I took a nap, and read some more. Today, I read Peeps by Scott Westerfeld. I loved it. I immediately went to the library website and put the sequel on reserve. And I added Peeps to my Reading Pleasure Wish List.

Then I read Then Again, Maybe I Won’t by Judy Blume. Believe it or not, I missed a LOT of Judy Blume books as I was growing up, but I’m making up for it now. Thank GOD for public libraries!

Friday, I watched High School Musical and LOVED it. It’s so fun, and Aidan had me watch the “We’re All In This Together” video over and over. He enjoyed it, too. I return it to Netflix tomorrow, just in time to cancel my free 2-week trial, but I added it to my wishlist in case someone wants to randomly buy me a present. LOL.

It’s COLD out. Temps in the teens. That’s frightening. I hope this doesn’t continue for too long. Looking forward to Spring already.

Weekends go too quickly. Another LONG work week ahead. Oh well. Such is life.

See ya.

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Itโ€™s The Small Things

I’m learning to be proud of the small accomplishments. Okay, maybe I can’t do thousands of words in one day, but should I really be upset with myself if I just do 100 words? Or how about if I do no words at all, but instead, I sit around, watching movies, or reading book after book, trying to absorb what these authors and writers do, learning the craft, internalizing it, making it part of my blood?

At least once a week I tell myself I’m done. I’m giving up. The odds are too high, and I’m just not special enough.

But why do I keep wriitng down ideas? Why do I keep trying?

What does this mean?

False starts. “Crapters.” Thousands of words deleted–or actually, moved to the “Someday Maybe” folder. It’s so easy to beat myself up when I keep focusing on those things, instead of when the magic finally hits and a book is born. It’s easy, when in the throes of writing, to forget about all the false starts and throwaways.

But I’m learning now, to focus on the small things. I’m not going to be one of those people who can churn out masterpieces in two weeks. Therefore, I may never make a living selling books. But I have to stop comparing myself, forcing myself, hurting myself.

And I have to focus on those small victories. Else, I really WILL give up.

P.S. Everyone’s comments have been amazing! I didn’t realize people were still reading this journal until recently. Thank YOU for not giving up on me.

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