Bittersweet (Pictures)

Today, I went to a new doctor. I needed one closer to home, and one that wasn’t so insanely busy. I like my old family doctor, but it just wasn’t working out for me anymore. So, this new guy. He is totally cool. Spent at least 30 minutes with me, explaining what was happening and why I felt so bad. He drew diagrams and everything. Told me what he was going to do for me now, and then next steps to take if these didn’t work out. Basically, I have a chronic sinus infection. Chronic because it’s been going on for more than six weeks. The pain is due to all the drainage, my throat apparently looks like a cobblestone road, and the stuff that needs to drain is too thick and it’s all bunching up in my ears. Now I’m on this medicine called Pseudovent 400 for the next month. It is not an antibiotic. It should thin out the stuff that’s too thick to leave me alone. It cost me more than $50, so it had better work! If that doesn’t work, I have an antibiotic in reserve called Levaquin. I’ll be on that for three weeks. If THAT doesn’t work, then I’ll have to go in for a CAT scan, to make sure there isn’t a cyst or something harboring bacteria. So, here’s hoping that I will get better, and SOON. For real this time. At any rate, this new doctor is very cool. Any one who allows hair band music to be played in the office can’t be bad.

* * * * *

The past week was incredible. Spending my birthday and Christmas with Adam was perfect. PERFECT. He spoiled me, too. I spend a great deal of time alone, I forget how nice it is to have someone bring me a cup of Earl Grey with four sugars (yes, I know, Rosa, my SYRUP) just the way I like it. And it’s nice to have someone to cuddle with. I also forgot how many more dishes 2 to 3 people can create. I shudder when I look at my kitchen. He made this grog stuff in the Crock-Pot that smelled amazing, but I’m scared at how hard it will be to clean up.

Adam got me the last Leven Thumps book, so now I have all three of them. Win!

Christmas and all was really amazing for me. Sunday night, Aidan and Adam (adamselzer) got to bond. Here they are being cute together:

Aidan & Adam

They listened to Alpha Butt by Kimya Dawson a lot, and we watched Christmas stuff, and Adam and Aidan got into their stockings. We also had dinner at Outback Steakhouse, which was quite the yum. On the way to dinner, it snowed a bit. Here’s Aidan trying to catch a flake:

Catching a Snowflake!

Aidan would NOT go to sleep Sunday night. I finally just left him in his room. He got up and turned the light on and made a hot mess, which he will need to clean sometime soon. I went to get his stuff out of the closet. There are bells on the closet. The bells jingled. I heard him gasp and go “Santa?” It was the CUTEST THING EVER. But my child is way too smart, he figured out it was me. I hadn’t even been trying to trick him or anything, it just happened. But to hear that little gasp and … “Santa?” Awww.

Monday morning, we all got up and opened gifts. Adam got me a very pretty sweater and this Rent hardcover: [link]. (He also took me out to eat 39385349 times). Aidan really had a great time opening things.

Aidan Opens Presents
Here he is, opening one of his presents from Rosa (meimeigui)

I got this awesome tea from Rosa. One is cookie-flavored. Mmm.

Monday morning, Adam, Aidan, and I to my mom’s. On the way there, we stopped at a Flying J so Adam could get my stepfather some lottery tickets. Adam bought ten for Greg, and one for himself. Adam won $1 on the ticket.

Mommy’s was a lot of fun. Andy (crimsonghost_oh) and Chris (zenosidal) was there, and Aidan was running around and it was chaotic and crazy.

Piggy Back!

Dinner was yummo. Once again, my mac & cheese was a hit. But my dressing was too dry. :(

newlifeinstpaul, this one’s for you:

Christmas Dinner

After dinner, there was a small exchange. Andy gave Aidan a Cleveland Browns fleece shirt, which Aidan LOVES, and he gave me a bag of Cheetohs. I’d been craving Cheetohs for quite some time now, so that made me happy. THEN he gave me a brand new HP Pavilion dv6000 Entertainment PC. Um… whoa? Of course, it’s an investment, which means I need to write a kick ass book. :):):) It’s so nice not to be chained to my desk anymore. I am now posting from my futon, and I should probably go ahead and move to my bed. w00t!

Andy had to leave. We waited ’til Greg got home to exchange everything else. Aidan was really excited:

Aidan and Grandmommy's Tree

I would like to note the sweater he is wearing. All this time, I’d been trying to locate an argyle sweater for him. Come to find out, he already had one that my mom had bought him some time ago. I was right, he DOES look handsome in one!

I got sweaters, pajamas, and a $50 gift card to Barnes & Noble from my mom and Greg. Perfect. Chris gave Adam and me cute Longaberger Christmas accessories. Aidan made out like a little bandit, as usual. :) And you know what that little bugger insisted on playing with? This old parrot that repeats everything that he found in the garage. What the ever loving hell? Yes, he got tons of new toys and clothes (check out the two big bags by the tree. Both for Aidan, both full of toys), and he insisted on having that stupid parrot repeat everything he and everyone else said. Oh well. Kids. At least he was having fun. I should have gotten a picture of the parrot.

Greg scratched off the lottery tickets that Adam got him. Seven of the 10 were winners. Remember that Adam’s ticket had been a winner as well. Eight out of 11 lottery tickets bought at the Flying J were winners. What are the odds of that?

Later, Chris and Aidan (and all of the noisy toys, including the parrot) headed back to Columbus, and Adam and I crashed at my parents’. I slept horribly because I was in SO MUCH pain. My mom was warning me about taking so many ibuprofen pills, but I had to do something for relief. Christmas Day was kind of weird because it was the first year I didn’t have anything to open ON Christmas Day. It was still a nice day, sitting around and chatting and watching TV. The drive back was nice and clear. Adam and I got back to Columbus about 4:15 or so, and we spent the evening watching Arrested Development on DVD and drinking champagne. The champagne helped me get to sleep. The pain was still there, but I didn’t care as much.

Champagne

Yesterday, I got a package from Ivy (swankivy)! This girl knows me so well. It’s hard to believe that next summer, we’ll have known each other for ten years. Here was the funny thing. Adam was taking me out to breakfast, and on the way out, I saw the mail truck. Something told me to stop and go to the mailboxes in my building. Adam stayed in the car and made a phone call while I went in. The mail guy saw me and said “You’re Davis! I have a package here for you!” Woohoo! It was the package from Ivy, and it was full of cool stuff such as a Bananagrams game! OH MY GOD. I LOVE playing anagrams, and I love bananas. How freakin’ perfect, right? And… and… she got me this book that’s supposed to be p*rn for women. It’s actually pages of really good-looking men saying things like “The game’s on. That means there should be plenty of parking at the craft show, let’s go!” The best part is that many of the nice, sensitive things in there are things Adam already does for me. *feels spoiled* She also got me 100 sticks of Nag Champa. I haven’t even used all the Nag Champa that she and Andy got me last year, and I have more. This makes me VERY happy. There was a journal, a copy of Firestarter (the book) and some really cool stuff for Aidan. I can’t wait ’til he sees what she got him.

I started to get a bit sad because well, I knew that the next day, Adam would be going back to Chicago. I drank wine, and he drank this special Christmas ale that Andy got him, and watched more Arrested Development. I thought to myself that I could get used to this. I need to go and buy wine. There is this cheap citrus stuff at Marc’s. I can get a bottle for $3.49. Yum.

Today was bittersweet. I was excited about the new doctor, but really upset about Adam leaving. I was grateful for the week we got to spend together (which certainly wasn’t long enough), but angry that it had to come to an end. When will it be time for us to NOT have to say good-bye?

I know that every day is a day closer to when we’ll be together. I know that he is in Chicago pounding those pavements and doing what he can to get me out there ASAP, and building up this new ilfe for us. And I’m here to spend time with Aidan and prepare for yet another HUGE life change that is coming up for me. But now, it’s hard. The good-byes hurt more every time. And my apartment feels so empty now. Sunday night, it felt so perfect.

The good thing is that I have a new computer to customize. And a book to write. It just recently hit me that I got to have a one-on-one consulation with an agent and she helped me plot out a book. That is beyond awesome. Those’ll keep me busy until I see him again… it’s harder when I have no idea when the next time will be, though. :(

Time to get off of here for now. The ole ear/throat pain is pounding, as usual, and work is NOT going to be easy tomorrow.

Ta ta for now.

Merry Christmas!!!

I am at my mom’s (she’s still upstairs) posting from my BRAND NEW LAPTOP! WIN WIN WIN!!!!! :):):):)

Andy is awesome. I’m mobile again!

It’s an investment, however, which means I need to start writing again. Having a laptop will make it so much easier. *grin*

Had a great Christmas Eve. Details soon. Adam’s right next to me on HIS computer. I might beat him with the posting here. :)

Still in a lot of pain, but having fun anyway. Pix soon. Bye for now.

2006 In Review, Looking to 2007 (Tiny Pictures)

Time for the obligatory. Heh. What a year 2006 has been. It’s really hard to believe I am where I am in my life right now. Makes me very curious about 2007.

01. Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes, I’ll have to say, for the most part, it was. It certainly was interesting.

02. Where were you, and who were you with, when 2006 began? And where will you be when it ends?
I was at Chad and Christy’s house, at a New Year’s Eve Party. Some of the people I was with included Kim, Ben, Caty, Christy, Abbie to name a few.

Ben is the Mack Daddy! Happy Girls Christy and Me

I will be here in my apartment, wearing my blue footie pajamas, and hanging with Aidan when it ends.

03. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
– Aidan, Aidan, Aidan, and Aidan;
– signing with a big time literary agent;
– making it through the year with no accidents or speeding tickets;
– taking huge leaps of faith in regards to my personal life;
– taking a chance with a new job;
– taking my first “road trip” all alone;
– reading more than 100 new books;

04. What was your biggest failure or regret?
– Not selling ONLY YOURS.
– CRUSH getting rejected.

05. What did you do that you’d never done before?
– saw Bob Dylan (twice!);
– saw Wicked;
– ate rattlesnake;
– visited The Grand Canyon;
– visited Philadelphia, PA;
– visited Phoenix, AZ;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– took a ghost tour (I ended up taking six!);
– cooked a Crock-Pot meal;
– attended a Writers’ Conference;
– started a debt management program;
– got a flu shot;
– friendship journal with verytruly and selfstyled.

06. What did you hope to do but didn’t manage to?
Save money. Visit . Sell Only Yours.

07. Are you going to try to do these things this coming year instead?
Yes.

08. Did you make any major decisions? If so, what were they?
a) I became separated.
b) I asked for a dissolution.
c) I changed jobs.
d) I decided to wean myself off of the Lexapro. I am down to 10mgs a day instead of 20mgs. So far, so good.

09. Did you explore any new ideas or concepts you had never considered before?
Yes.

10. What did you learn?
That there is a lot more to me than I ever imagined. And that I like it.

11. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My friends tell me that MY behaviour does, because I was strong and taking charge and blah blah blah, but I have to say THEIRS did, because they’ve gone above and beyond to make me feel supported, loved, taken care of. crimsonghost_oh, meimeigui, swankivy, selfstyled, adamselzer, verytruly, wlotus, helenatural, starrlyte, I love you all and I am very grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for everything.

12. Whose behaviour upset you?
No names, but the people who decided to stop talking to me because of decisions I made with regards to my personal life.

13. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveled more. Planned more. Written more.

14. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Holding back. Keeping secrets. Stressing out. Worrying.

15. What did you get really excited about?
a) Visiting Chicago all the times I did. :)
b) Seeing the Grand Canyon.
c) Bob Dylan concerts.

16. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I know of.

17. Did anyone close to you die?
Grandpa Davis. :(

18. Did you attend any weddings or funerals?
Grandpa Davis’s funeral in February.

19. Did you miss anybody?
Yes.

20. Which countries did you visit?
N/A. Dang it.

21. Which new places did you visit?
Ft. Wayne, IN., Philadelphia, PA.

22. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing unusual.

23. What was the best thing you bought?
All of my plane tickets to Chicago, and my digital SLR camera.

24. Where did most of your money go?
Bills.

25. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? the same
b) thinner or fatter? fatter
c) richer or poorer? poorer, most definitely poorer

26. What was your favourite film of the year?
Clerks II.

27. What was your favourite TV programme?
N/A.

28. What was the best book you read?
The Giver – Lois Lowry.

29. What did you want and get?
A DSLR camera, an agent.

30. What did you want and not get?
A publishing contract. Constant financial security.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. Bizzy came over and we ate spaghetti and watched The Boondock Saints.

32. What was your personal fashion concept of this year?
Jeans, sweaters or tee-shirts, my cheap Champion shoes. Or peasant skirts and camis.

33. Did you make any significant changes to your appearance?
I stopped wearing makeup, except for powder to tone down the shine. I began wearing my hair shorter, although that wasn’t really my choice. BUT, I did stop straightening it so much, and started letting it air dry.

Curly Sunday New Hairdo

34. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I didn’t really fancy anyone, but I did have a raging crush on Trent Ford for about ten minutes.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Execution.

36. What world event affected you more than any other?
Too many to get into right now.

37. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 29, 2006, for reasons I want to keep private for now.

38. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing outside of the ordinary.

39. What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
“My Love” by Justin Timberlake
“Sanctus” by Philip Riley and Jane Elleson
“What Goes Around…/…Comes Around” by Justin Timberlake
“Sorry” by Madonna
“Gotta Go, Gotta Leave (Tired) by Vivian Greene
“Believe In Me” by Pleasure Center

40. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I did. With Chicago. With pretty, dramatic sunrises over the Columbus skyline. With the American Heritage dictionary. With copyediting. With photography, using filters and lenses. With my little boy, as he grows and becomes the person he is meant to be–funny, charming, affectionate, smart, amazing. With much, much more, that I want to hold inside for now.

41. How many one-night stands?
Negative.

42. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think so.

43. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I enjoyed “discovering” Bob Dylan, Josh Groban, and Justin Timberlake (again). Oh, and Jennifer Berezan. The Returning CD is ace.

44. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Selling a book!

45. What kept you sane?
My friends. Sometimes, I just don’t understand how they put up with me!

46. Who was the best new person you met?
Adam Selzer. He’s awesome.

47. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“Getting your dreams, it’s strange, but it seems, a little well, complicated. There’s a kind of a sort of, loss, and a couple of things get lost. And there bridges to cross you didn’t know you crossed until you cross.”

48. What would you like to happen in the coming year, either personally or in a more global sense?
I want to get better with money, and MAKE MORE OF IT. I want to finally publish a book. I want to write and write and write. I want to travel more. Continue enjoying the copyediting. Pick up some freelance jobs. For adamselzer‘s prediction to come true that 2007 will be a good year.

49. What are some of your personal goals for the new year?
Get a promotion. Publish a book.

50. What would you like to avoid?
Drama. Living paycheck-to-paycheck.

51. And finally, where do you see yourself in a year’s time?
I have no idea.

* * *

Were you in school (any time this year)?
Nope.

How did you earn your keep?
McGraw-Hill for most of the year, then I moved to Zaner-Bloser starting in September. Still in the publishing world.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope.

Did you encounter the police?
Nope.

Where did you go on vacation?
In May, I went to Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon, and Phoenix. In June, July, August, and September, I went to Chicago. In November, I went to Philadelphia.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
My digital SLR camera.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Holly & Robert. I photographed the wedding.

You know anybody who passed away?
Grandpa Davis.

Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
I talk to Andy all the time.

Did you move anywhere?
Yes, I moved out of the house on Bauer St., into my own place in Clintonville.

What sporting events did you go to?
None.

What concerts did you go to?
I saw Bob Dylan in Ft. Wayne, IN, and I saw him in Philadelphia, PA. In addition, I popped in on a Tony Lucca gig that was local.

Are you registered to vote?
Yes.

If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
It’s not a duty to me. It’s a priviledge and an honor. And yes, I did vote.

Where do you live now?
Columbus, OH (Clintonville neighborhood)

What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
See Wicked!!!

What is one thing you regretted this year?
Spending too much money. Bah.

What’s something you learned about yourself?
I guess I’m a lot braver than I thought.

Any new additions to your family?
No.

What was your best month?
June, and September.

What from pop culture will you remember 2006 by?
– Justin bringing SexyBack. Oh my.
– Actually LIKING the damn Paris Hilton song (Stars Are Blind).
– Britney’s crotch. Double oh my.
– TomKat madness. Oh help.

How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (lousy) to 10 (excellent)?
I’m going to have to say a 7.85.

* * *

IN 2006 HAVE I:

Hugged someone? Of course!!
Gotten into a fight? Yes.
Cried? Yes, far too much.
Smoked? A bit.
Drank alcohol? Yes.
Kissed someone on the cheek? Yes.
Reunited with an old friend? Yes.
Been suspended? No.
Let something go? Yes.
Been whipped? No. Unfortunately. ;)
Learned any important lessons? Yes.
Got a kiss on the cheek? Yes.
Kissed someone on the lips? Yes.
Considered suicide? Not seriously.
Cut/dyed your hair drastically? No.
Flirted? Sure.
Been backstabbed? Yes.
Missed someone? Yes.
Hit someone? Oh yeah. >:)
Broken something really important to you? Yes.
Cuddled with someone? Yes.
Broken somebody’s heart? Yes.
Done something you really regretted? Don’t even get me started.
Laughed so hard that it hurt? Yes.
Cried so hard that it hurt? Yes. Too often.
Got cheated on? I hope not.
Gone on a date? No.
Got dumped? Yes, by some “friends.”
Dumped someone? No. More like stepped back for a bit.
Made a new screen name? Yes.
Lost a friend? Yes.
Gotten any tattoos/piercing? No. Dammit.
Watched porn? Hell no.
Been in a love/hate relationship? Eh?
Loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes.
Been grounded? Nope, LOL.

FRIENDS:
Lost: I’m not going to list them because it doesn’t matter anymore.
Drifted: Can’t really say because friendships are so static.
Found: Adam, my writing friends. Friendships with others have grown deeper, like with Rosa, and Wanda.

Me & Adam Me & Mandy Group Shot

BODY:
Weight: Went up five to ten pounds. I’m now 115-120lbs. Eep.
Piercing/tattoos: N/A
Height: 5’2″ ish.
Hair: Short.

WORK:
– repeat

STUDIES:
N/A

BAD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– As if I’m going to admit them here. >:)

GOOD THINGS I HAVE DONE:
– Grand Canyon.
– Chicago, a lot.
– Bob Dylan.
– Raised Aidan.
– Debt management program (that means I can accumulate no more debt!)
– Taken a HUGE step.
– Got a new job.
– Traveled a lot.
– Let go.

NEW EXPERIENCES:
– repeat

THINGS I HOPE TO DO IN 2007:
– Sell my novel.
– Finish a new novel.
– Go back to a Disney park.

* * *

I’ve read well over 100 new books in 2006. These are the ones that made the most impact on me:

The Giver by Lois Lowry
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor
Freedom’s Children by Ellen Levine
To Be A Slave by Julius Lester

* * *

My 2007 Forecast from one of those astrology sites:

This is the year that you have been waiting for as your key planet, Jupiter, makes its once-every-twelve-years return to your sun sign, bestowing grace and opportunity onto your life. As the Archer, you aim your arrows of intent high; your targets are often far in the distance. Now you can see even further, and your power is even stronger. Jupiter’s influence works like a magnifying lens by making your life even bigger. But you like grandiosity, so this will feel quite comfortable, even familiar. There are other planetary influences this year, but jovial Jupiter in your sign — from Nov. 23, 2006, until Dec. 18, 2007 — will likely be the most obvious and should provide a fortunate underpinning for a very successful year. Jupiter was last in your sign in 1995, which may have been the beginning of the opportunity cycle that is currently coming to a close. You see good news now everywhere you turn, yet this will also require you to make a number of long-term decisions.

The Year Ahead

Although this may be a truly wonderful time, there are potential pitfalls that demand your attention. First, because Jupiter can make anything appear better, be careful about accepting an opportunity before you really check it out. Whether it’s a fantastic job offer or an exciting new romance, the joy of Jupiter will eventually pass, perhaps leaving you with less than what you imagined. Second, because Jupiter encourages you to overextend yourself, be cautious about making a commitment that you cannot keep. Third, because Jupiter widens your perspective, you can gloss over important details. Remember that sloppy work and hasty thinking will not be rewarded, so use extra diligence.

The slow wave of the Jupiter tide recedes from April 5 until Aug. 6. Shore up your plans and conserve your energy during this retrograde period. Jupiter dynamically squares erratic Uranus three times — on Jan. 22, May 10, and Oct. 9 — creating an exhilarating yet destabilizing sequence of interrelated events. With Uranus in your 4th House of Home and Family, unexpected changes, a physical move, or even the purchase of a new home is not out of the question. Meanwhile, serious Saturn harmoniously trines Jupiter on March 16 and May 5, balancing the melodramatic Uranus scenario with clear thinking and patience. Still, you may feel dissonance between the commitments you willingly make and the freedom you wish you didn’t have to sacrifice.

* * *

And finally, looking ahead:

In the year 2007…

Will you be looking for a new job?
Yes, a part-time second job.

Will you be looking for a new relationship?
No.

New house?
Maybe.

What will you do different in 2007?
So much.

New Years resolution(s)?
a. Take better care of my teeth.
b. Start doing Yoga, hopefully 2-3 times a week.
c. Write a new book.

What will you not be doing in 2007?
Eating out, shopping.

Any trips planned?
Chicago in February. That’s all for now. If people want to fund trips anywhere else, I am willing to go! :)

Wedding plans?
No.

What’s on your calendar?
Chicago in February.

What can’t you wait for?
Chicago!

What would you like to see happen differently?
I’d like more money, please.

What about yourself will you be changing?
– I hope to become more assertive, less likely to freak out.
– I’d like to completely be off of Lexapro.

What happened in 2006 that you didn’t think would ever happen?
– I signed with an agent.
– I moved out.
– I drove myself to Cleveland.

Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
Yes.

Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06?
No.

Will you start or quit drinking?
I don’t drink, nor do I plan to start.

Will you have better relationship with your family?
*shrug*

Will you do charity work?
I’d like to, but I don’t know if I’ll have time or money to do so.

Will you go to bars?
Doubt it.

Will you be nice to people you don’t know?
I usually am.

Do you expect 2007 to be a good year for you?
Not sure. I hope it will.

How much did you change from this time last year til now?
I changed very, very much.

Do you plan on having a child?
Just the one I already have.

Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I hope so.

Major lifestyle changes?
Oh yes.

Will you be moving?
Don’t know.

What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 2007 that happened in 2006?
I am not sure.

What are your New Years Eve plans?
I’d love to sleep, but we’ll see.

Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
I think Aidan. :)

Wish for 2007:
SELL A BOOK!!!

That was long, but fun. :) Happy New Year!

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