ronni

Oink Oink

/ ronni

Why can’t I stop eating??

(And NO I’m not pregnant, so don’t even think that!!)

Comments Off on Oink Oink

Frustration

/ ronni, sad

So, this whole diet thing? Yeah. Not going so well. I can’t seem to stop eating. I keep eating and eating and eating. I’m always so hungry, and I hate that. On top of that, something is plaguing me and WON’T GO AWAY no matter how much I pray about it. Aidan is being extra moody. And violent. I swear, he hates me half the time and loves me to death the other half. Is this normal?

Emotionally, it’s just a bootie day for me. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of spiritual and mental wrestling. Dear God, if only I could let go of certain things. I think I’d feel a lot better.

Comments Off on Frustration

God & Me

/ money, ronni, spirituality

I often wonder what God sees in me. Or why He bothers with me. For example. I just spent the last oh, say… 3 months shopping like there is no tomorrow. Racking up the debt quicker than I could say “charge it.” (I never actually did say such a thing, mind you.) This is not the first time I have done this. It’s obvious that I am foolish with money. Just downright stupid.

So, why did He allow me, once again, to have a consolidation loan? To bunch all these bloody bills into one lump payment, and get rid of the cards quicker than if I’d tried to pay my pathetic minimum payment(s) each month?

I DESERVE to have to struggle. I deserve to eat those diarrhea-inducing Ramen Noodles every day. I deserve not to have new clothes/books/CDs/etc. Because I spent frivolously, foolishly, and unabashedly. I had my reward before the payment. Now it’s time to give back, right?

So, now what? Well, the plan is this. To put the credit cards on LOCK DOWN. That’s right, folks. LOCK DOWN, okayyyy? And Chris and I will work to pay off this loan. (Not all the debt is mine, I am happy to say. Thanks to the accident and other things, he has his fair share in there as well). Perhaps I need some financial advising. Oh, who am I kidding? “Perhaps” needs to eliminated from that sentence entirely. Gosh. This is a bit embarrassing. But here goes:

I NEED FINANCIAL COUNSELING!

There, I said it. Whew. Do I feel relieved? Hmm. Not really. But admitting the problem is the first step, right?

Hi. My name is Ronni. And I’m a bit of a shopaholic. I use shopping, and the acquiring of new goods, to medicate pain/loneliness/sadness/stress, etc. I personally agree 100% with the term retail therapy. I need help.

Everyone: Hi, Ronni! =D (kool-aid smiles, Prada bags, Jimmy Choos, and Miu Miu skirts peek at me from every corner, threatening to do me in even before I begin).

Maybe… just maybe, I can finally learn to be more responsible with my money. Even more importantly, I must FOLLOW THROUGH with what I’ve learned. Stay responsible. Build up my savings. Live faithfully in spite of the American Way of materialism and consumerism. I can do it.

Dang it.

Comments Off on God & Me

GOALS

/ ronni, to do

GOALS

Here are my goals – to be reached by September 21, 2004:

  1. Weigh solid 105 pounds. No more fluctuating.
  2. Pay off one credit card.
  3. Have manuscript queried.
  4. Save $$.
  5. Memorize 3 Bible verses

All of these will require tremendous amounts of discipline.  So, I have to put some rules into place:

  1. No eating after 9pm (especially JUNK FOOD).
  2. Watch the food I eat–cut down on the junk food and sugar.
  3. No frivolous spending (this one’s going to hurt).
  4. NO MORE CHARGING FOR CLOTHES/BOOKS/CDs, etc.
  5. Make more time for God.

I have to really start taking better care of myself.  Getting to bed earlier, for one.  For some reason, I just wake up around 9pm, and I get all creative and hyper.  It kind of sucks.

But oh well.  I’m a night owl.  May as well accept it.

Comments Off on GOALS

From Katie (live4himalways)

/ meme, ronni, survey

Borrowed from:

ANSWER IT!!  🙂

(then copy it to your journals so I can answer yours)

– I ____ Ronni.
– Ronni is ____.
– I think Ronni should _____.
– Ronni needs ______.
– I want to ____________ Ronni.
– Ronni reminds me of _______.
– Without Ronni _______.
– My memories of Ronni are ________.
– Ronni can be __________.
– Worst thing about Ronni is _________.
– Best thing about Ronni is _________.
– I am ________ with Ronni.

Comments Off on From Katie (live4himalways)