Today’s AOL horoscope:

Sometimes the pressure on you Archers is that others expect you always to be aiming your arrow high into the sky. You believe that you need to be optimistic, looking upward into the heavens toward the greatest potential. But what if you don’t feel that way? This can create a conflict, for you don’t want to let others down. Today presents you with an opportunity to bring up some of your darker emotions. You might be pleasantly surprised at how others rally to your support.

I’m scared.

That horoscope sounds like the story of my life. I feel that I have to be perfect. I have to be pushing hard. That I have to be happy all the time. I have to be the perfect Mom, the perfect Christian, always smiling, never sad. I can barely relax at home unless Aidan falls asleep on me and forces me to sit/sleep/read/whatever. I wake up at about 6:40am, and I’m going going going until at least 1:00am the next morning. I feel like I always have to be doing something. Must always be productive. Cannot be lazy, sitting there, wasting time and space.

Darker emotions? I’m scared to reveal them. I really am. I know they’ll hurt a lot of people. So I will keep them to myself–except for my personal elite (Jen, Ivy, etc).

So anyway, it’s not even 11am, and I’ve been very productive already. I cleaned my desk, attended a meeting, did a bunch of stuff. I have lots to do tonight still, including going to the store. So, here’s my list:

[ ] Pop & drinks
[ ] Film
[ ] Cookies
[ ] Volleyball/Badminton set (?)

I have some chores to do tonight:

[ ] Put laundry away
[ ] Clean off half wall
[ ] Make bed

Think I can do it all in 2 hours? Let’s hope so!