My body is tired. My eyes are heavy. When light hits my pupils, I immediately want to shut my lids and drift into oblivion.
But as soon as I lie down, my mind wakes up. Thoughts flood my brain, and my heart races. I toss and turn, trying to calm myself, trying to clear my mind so I can find solace in that elusive place called Slumberland.
My sleep patterns are completely out of wack. I’ve been napping during the day due to being sick, therefore, I’ve been finding it hard to fall asleep no earlier than 5am or so. My body has become so dependent on medicine to knock me out that it’s having a hard time doing it on its own. And there is the heartburn issue. Lots of heartburn for some reason. That may be because of all the medication I’m taking at the moment.
I have to go back to work (although it is EXTREMELY tempting to take another day off and rest, and I’ll see how I feel in the morning before I decide for sure), and I’m not really looking forward to it. I’m not looking forward to the grind, to the demands, to whatever “judgement” is waiting for me in my mailbox because I was out for so long.
Even now, my eyelids droop and the screen becomes unfocused. But now I’m afraid to place my head on the pillow, for what will cause my pulse to pound this time?