So, what does one do during work when she has no computer for three full days?

Let me give you a list.

1. Organize the supply cabinet.
2. Make a list of supplies to order.
3. Hope and pray she doesn’t forget all of her passwords (she forgot the Office Depot one).
4. Clean off her desk.
5. Realize that the iPod can be played while plugged into the wall (yeah, I’m deducting cool points from myself for that six month bout of ditziness).
6. Take several pictures of herself.
7. Talk to co-workers.

Mm, yeah. I did all of that and more. It’s crazy how dependent I am on computers! But now my computer is back. Stripped bare with a brand new hard drive, but back. At least I’m functional and I have Office 2002 now! See, there is always a bright side or silver lining or something.

Saw “In Good Company” last night. It was a cute movie. Topher Grace is adorable and Scarlet Johansson…wow. There are no words for how breathtakingly beautiful she is.

Tina, come get some ham!

You know what frustrates me? Seeing bad grammar and having NO control over fixing it. I can suggest and prod all I want but ultimately, I can’t do a thing about it and I hate that!!!!!!

*many instances come to mind*

I’m kind of tired. I have two things I can do tonight. Small group at Ohio Dominican with Monica, or Denison to see Becky. But I’m so sleepy I might stay home and crash and maybe even watch American Idol. Oh, the HORROR! ๐Ÿ™‚

Wait, is tonight the Cleveland, Ohio auditions? Uh oh. Gotta represent. O-H-I-O! Whut whut!

But I really, really, really, really want to see Becky….

Decisions are the worst.

^ I’ll give $5 to whomever can tell me what movie the above quote is from.

(so far I have not had to pay out one dime because people never answer!)

Counseling was good today. She spent a great deal of the time reminding me that I’m not evil or bad, and illustrating to me how far I’ve become from when I first started seeing her in August of 2003. When I began counseling:

– I couldn’t/didn’t drive.
– I wasn’t looking for jobs.
– I had almost no friends.
– I’d barely started writing a book.
– I was very, very angry.
– I was very, very depressed.

And now:

– I drive and I have my own car.
– I’m looking to start a new career path.
– I have many friends.
– My book is finished.
– I’m very angry.
– I’m very depressed.

She said it’s important for me to acknowledge these changes and improvements and to reward myself for them, and to be proud that I’m doing them. ๐Ÿ™‚

Change is slow and change is hard. Change hurts and change heals. There is still so much in me. Once, the pastor at church said that God boils our hearts to get all the bad stuff to rise to the top so He can skim it off. Then what’s left is as pure as gold. Yes, I’ve been feeling boiled. But maybe, just maybe there is a good girl inside of all the rottenness.

Maybe I’ll learn to like myself yet.

I want to hug Aidan. And I want Rob to sing me a song.