This might be TMI for you. Heh.
So, yesterday, Aidan had been getting sick all day. Out of both ends. He fell asleep around 8:10pm, and I’d thought he was out for the night. Not so much. Holly and Robert were over and we’d decided to play this game of “so-&-so or so-&-so,” using the names of people from our past–people we’d hung out with or seen when we used to all live together at Harrison House.
ANYWAY, we all got loud and laughing, and that woke poor Aidan. He came downstairs, a little bit cranky, but mellowed out and got super hyper for some reason. He played and jumped and I was sure he was feeling better, even though his fever hadn’t gone completely down yet. Holly and Robert left, and Aidan decided he wanted to cuddle with me. I held him and did some stuff on my laptop, when Aidan coughed and PUKED all over my computer. I put him down and yelled “OH MY GOD AIDAN JUST PUKED ON MY LAPTOP!” I ran to get some paper towels, Aidan ran for the bathroom so he could finish throwing up in the toilet. I cleaned the best I could. Luckily, there was no damage. My function keys are a little bit sticky, and the screen could use a better cleaning, but the other “sticky” keys are fine. WHEW.
Um… just randomly–cute vintage clothing here: http://www.sassypantsvintage.com
I know one of the models on that site–the one with the long, luscious hair. Some of the sweaters are super cute, and I WANT THEM.
Anyway. I just read a book called Hard Cash by Kate Cann, and I’m reading the sequel now, called Shacked Up. They’re from the POV of a British guy. Very interesting. There is a third one too, called Speeding, which I already have in waiting. I love books. In case you didn’t know. I was just thinking about how ridiculous my passion for books is. I have several bookshelves that are packed full. But there isn’t room for everything, and I have books all over the floor, stacks here and stacks there, some in the bathroom, some in the kitchen. All rooms need at least one book in them. It’s just how it has to be.
So, I’ve been thinking about relationships and friendships, and how if my dating record was like my friendship record, I’d be a slut like whoa. When I think of people I thought I’d be friends with forever having disappeared because of things I don’t think are worthy of cutting someone out of one’s life for, I get sad. And I realize that I don’t matter as much to those people as they did to me, or that maybe the time has just run out on those particular relationships. And deep down I know things are for the best for this point in my life, but I still get that stupid pang if I let myself think about it too much.
In the meantime, people are coming in and out of my life like crazy. And I’m learning that if any relationship feels forced, then it’s not right. It’s best to let go and move on. But those that feel so natural and so RIGHT–I’m learning to enjoy them! I’m learning to not get scared and push them away–I mean, just because I was hurt in the past doesn’t mean I am going to get hurt now, right?
Of course, there are people I wish I had more time to see. Like Monica (bluemo84). The girl is like a breath of fresh air, all the time, and being around her is just so refreshing. I get amazed at how months can go by and I not see people. Just getting caught up in the day-to-day. The fleeting thought comes “I should call/IM/email him or her” and it never happens. Why? That’s one reason I love [the grove] and life group. I like knowing that I’m going to see Abbie, Ben, Joe, Chad, Christy, Caty, Craig at least once a week. Holy cow, I have a lot of friends with names that begin with C.
Of course, Abbie and I work together, and she sits right next to me, so I see her a lot. I see a lot of Libby too, because she sits one row from me. I hate that it has to be kind of structured that way, but hey, I’ll take it.
I know I’ve written about this before. When I start to get close to new people, I get scared! I simultaneously want to eat them up and also push them away. It’s really stupid. But I am trying to be normal and sensible. I really am. And it’s wonderful.
I just hate when I focus on the relationships that have drifted away. The people who stopped calling me and started excluding me. And of course, I have too much sodding pride to ever call them again. And I am busy–I have friends who I enjoy hanging around with. People I feel truly relaxed around, people who have always been there–the first ones to be there when I was upset or whatevs, the ones who don’t judge harshly or compete with me or try to make me feel generally like crap.
I know I go on and on about this–I just have to remind myself of all the good relationships/friendships, rather than the ones that haven’t worked out or aren’t right at the moment for whatever reason. Right?
I really just need to let things go. Or rather… simple relax and let things happen as they will.
GUESS WHERE I’M GOING IN NOVEMBER! GUESS!!!!
Chris got another kick a$$ deal, and he booked it from November 10-18th. I cannot wait! DISNEY WORLD!!! YEA!!! So, can anyone tell me (ahem ROSA dwagonfry or Viv soopagrrl) if they have the Christmas stuff up yet? I hope so, but if not, who cares. IT’S DISNEY WORLD!
Aidan is super excited. You know, he remembers so much more than I thought. He remembers things from early last year, like Todd helping Chris put the ceiling fan up in our bedroom. That was ages ago. But he goes “Daddy and the guy put it up!” WHOA? So yeah, he remembers Disney from last year and he’s psyched to go this year. As am I. YES!!
So, here are the travel plans for 2006:
- April 28-30 – Chicago IL for a writer’s conference
- May 10-16 – Las Vegas, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Grand Canyon
- mid-June – Smoky Mountains (with Libby YAY!)
- November 10-18 – DISNEY WORLD!
Hopefully, Bizzy and I will get our butts out to California this year too. I need to see Amy (verytruly) and Star (selfstyled) again!
Well, the boys are home and I am hungry. So, ’til next time.