Went to the Rose Festival yesterday.

Here’s one of the roses I took a picture of:

Tried to settle down for the free concert at the gazebo, but I guess I’m just not into barbershop-quartet-sounding stuff. And I’m pretty sure the couple I was sitting next to on the lawn were my loud sexing neighbors.

Lately, I’ve been doing this thing where if I am in a big crowd of people, especially something like a concert, I try to find other black people. There were none at the concert, except for a couple of little kids who were with white adults. There were Asians there, though. I never really noticed before just HOW MUCH of a minority I am. Suddenly, I’m hyper aware of it. I also tried to see if there were other people sitting alone. Me and some older guy were pretty much it. Everyone else was with families or in couples.

I felt that I really stuck out (plus I didn’t care for the music!), so I left.

When I was in high school, people called me an “oreo.” While they all listened to whatever hip-hop act was the biggest, I was totally into New Kids on the Block, Martika, and pop crossover acts like Paula Abdul, Milli Vanilli (yeah, I said it), and Bobby Brown. The thing is, I just listened to what I liked, not what I thought everyone felt I should like. A lot of people hated that.

I remember hearing this every single time I dressed DECKED the hell out in NKOTB gear—buttons, tee-shirts, watch, etc.:

student: You like New Kids on the Block?
me: Yes.
student: I heard they was gay.
me (thinking): Oh God, here we go again.
student: I heard one of them had to get his stomach pumped because there was sperm in it.

I realize that 1989–1993 was a different time as far as GLBT rights and stuff, but seriously, what does it matter if they *were* gay??

And… and… I don’t know about you, but how many people do you know had to go to the HOSPITAL from swallowing????

But that wasn’t all, folks. Oh no. People called me albino, they would pull me aside and ask: what color is you?. Hello? Wasn’t it obvious that I was a golden-beige? If Cover Girl can make a perfect powder match for my skin tone, then it should be clear what “color” I is.

I was an anomaly. They couldn’t understand me, couldn’t place me or label me, so they all assumed I was trying to “pass” (they were right, except that those really WERE my interests—it’s not like I was faking or anything). Some people would have this whole vendetta of “bringing me down” because in their minds I thought, with my light skin and eyes, that I was better than the darker-skinned people. They had no idea that junior high school had already destroyed my self-confidence (being called “horse nose” and “ironing board chest” and also being told to your face “you IS ugly” does that to a person), that I was a social retard, and that I was barely hanging on day-by-day in that hellhole of a high school. They also had no idea that I worked in a place where no matter what tone my skin was, I may as well have been black as the night as far as they were concerned, because those certain white people hated me that much. The irony of it was that my skin was actually lighter than theirs.

High school wasn’t all bad, mind you. But college was so much better—at least before the depression hit late 1997–early 1998.

ANYWAY….
Back to the weekend. I spent a lot of time reading Harry Potter books (out of order, just because). Getting myself primed for the new movie and new book next month. Over the weekend, I read Chamber of Secrets and I’m halfway through Goblet of Fire. Not sure if I’ll tackle Prisoner of Azkabhan or Order of the Phoenix next.

Things I’ve realized over the weekend:

1. Olive oil is NOT cheap.
2. No matter how much I try to cut writing out of my life, it keeps trying to sneak in.
3. Aidan’s obsessed with the Powerpuff Girls movie.
4. Shrek 1 really is better than Shrek 2.
5. JK Rowling is an effing genious, piss on the haters.
6. Sauteeing spinach is EASY and it tastes so yummy, thus making the purchase of olive oil definitely worth it. Yes, I’m craving it at 10am.
7. I make almost $7K below the mean of salaries in the U.S. and quite frankly, with rising costs EVERYWHERE, it feels like I make a lot less.

I’m working on slowly switching over the foods in my place with more healthy things. Part of the reason is that Kelloggs has once again decided not to sell a snack of mine in a readily available place (I’m pretty sure Wal-mart threatened all the stores again), so now I have to find other things to snack on. I bought golden delicious apples, peanut-butter/chocolate-chip rice cakes, purple grapes (Aidan’s choice) and red grades (my choice), fresh spinach (see #6 above), strawberries, and some snow peas which I will make tomorrow. I also decided to go with brown rice for now. I plan to switch to wild rice soon. Ultrametabolism is way too extreme for me, but I can work on snacking better and eating better.

Right now, my weakness is still Kool-Aid, and I crave chocolate constantly. Light chocolate snacks, like Rice Krispie Treats which no longer exist unless I buy a stupid variety pack which is mostly those stupid ORIGINAL ones. I still enjoy bacon way too much. But I’m going to finish off the bacon I have and then try not to buy anymore. It’s too expensive anyway. Or expenfis, as Aidan would say.

I’m sad because I think I’m going to have to give up publishing when I move to Chicago, and go back to being an administrative assistant. 🙁 Finding freelance work is next to impossible for a newbie with no money trying to break in.

adamselzer dyed his hair red. He told me that I was allowed to try to talk him out of it, but I didn’t because:
1. He’s a grown-ass man.
2. It’s HIS hair.
3. It’ll wash out in six weeks.

Got a roast beef sammich on wheat with mustard for lunch. Yummy.

Later.