up and down and around and around.
Finally! It is the last day of February. Believe me, I am not sad to see this bitterly cold month go! Right now, even though the temp says it’s 30F, I’m buried under an electric blanket, trying to get warm. I am looking forward to summer more than ever. (I also don’t think that particular temp gauge is quite right–another one says 19F, which is what it feels more like.)
I haven’t posted in a while, so here’s what I’ve gotten myself in to the past few weeks:
I flew to Cleveland to surprise Aidan and my mom for Valentine’s Day. Oh, it was so genius. Chris and I came up with the idea sometime last month. He was taking Aidan to visit her for the long weekend. I booked a flight into Hopkins, and Chris picked me up from there. Aidan’s face when he saw me was priceless! Then… we drove out to Twinsburgh, where my mom was waiting outside the door for Aidan and Chris. She realized there was a third person with them, but didn’t notice it was me until I was up close, but she was so happy! It was a fun surprise.
It was a fun long weekend. I gorged myself on reality television, ate good food (mmm greens) and saw some friends. I hadn’t seen Charla in nearly 10 years, so it was so nice to catch up with her. And I got to hang out with my friend Amy, who I email with all the time. I saw some of my favorite cousins, and really had fun talking to them, eating good food, and just hanging out.
While I was there, a snowstorm came. My flight would have been delayed hours. So, I just switched my flight to the next day, and Aidan and I got an extra day with my mommy.
Acting class. I’m still at it somehow. I honestly want to quit all the time because it is so hard. So, so hard. I’ve spent so many years silencing my voice that it’s hard for me to stop hiding. But then I have a day like today, when I start to break through, and people tell me I did a good job, and I FEEL that I did a good job… that I love it. I can’t stop. I know if I quit, I will hate myself. I can’t stop, I won’t stop, no matter how many bad days I have. Because no one ever said this journey would be easy. I don’t even know what’s at the end of it. I just know I need to stay doing it. I need to keep pulling out what I used to bring so easily when I was younger. Who knows what will happen if I keep going?
I got a new scene assignment and partner a few weeks ago. This time, I’m working on a comedy: The Visitor from Forest Hills from Plaza Suite by Neil Simon. I always pictured myself as a drama girl, but I am loving working on this comedy. I’m having fun with it!
But now we’re starting with Shakespeare. I don’t know about you, but Shakespeare scares the hot poop out of me. It terrifies me. But I’m going to do it.
Even though I know this won’t help my career in acting–if I decide to pursue one–I still enjoy doing background roles. In the acting world, anyone serious about it won’t settle for background work. Really, an extra is nothing but a prop. But I enjoy being on set, meeting people, and learning what I can about filming. I make friends and we keep in touch and hopefully see each other on more sets.
This past Tuesday, I got the chance to do some background work for NBC’s Crisis, which premieres March 16. I It’s the first TV show I’ve done and I hope I get the chance to do more. Maybe one day I’ll be a special guest with an actual speaking role. No harm in dreaming, right?
– Still obsessed with Odesza.
– Still trying to reduce my meat intake.
– Still trying to fight the depression. Some days it’s a lot easier than others.
– Making new friends in my acting class? Awesome.
– NEED to get my car jumped and running again. It’s been in the same place since December. It’s dead. The weather killed it.
I’m looking forward to Spring. Even though it won’t FEEL like Spring here for a long time, at least the calendar will say it is soon. And maybe the weather will catch up sooner than later.
Now it’s off to do a workout DVD. Paula Abdul, NYC Ballet, or Rodney Yee yoga? I guess we’ll see.
Till next time!