aidan

does anyone even read this thing?

Once upon a time, someone said “the days are long but the years are short,” and as I grow older, that’s feeling more and more true. It’s been well over a year since I posted here, but it doesn’t feel that long. But it’s been many months, and time just keeps ticking.

(There are a lot of pictures in this post, and some of them are taking ages to load, so please bear with me and the servers. Sucks that I have to say this in the year of our Lord 2022, but what can you do?)

I’m still working, blessedly from home. I have a full-time job and various freelance gigs, and I’m still writing on top of that. I (re)started therapy in February 2021, and that’s still ongoing. My new game obsession is Disney Dreamlight Valley, which took the place of my Stardew Valley obsession from earlier this year. Playing cozy video games is definitely my self-care!

I redid my home office to match my aesthetic because pink is beautiful and it makes me happy! And because I spend so much time here, it only makes sense for my office to be a place I want to be. I have two setups and a total of three to four computers in my office. My MacBook Pro, my Razer Chroma gaming laptop, and two work laptops. Good times.

Good things and bad things happened in 2021, globally and personally. There’s been loss, but also birth. Sorrow and joy. Hope and despair. Such is the journey of life.

The Sad

My beloved Charlotte passed away in May of 2021 from cancer. She got sick super suddenly and deteriorated quickly, and my heart is still broken from missing her. She was only four years old. She should still be here.

collage of grey tabby kitty cat, from kitten to age 4


My bio father passed away in October of 2021. We were estranged. I hadn’t spoken to him in decades. And yet, the grief is still there a bit. It’s complicated. But it’s there.

The Joy

Aidan graduated high school, got accepted to every college he applied to, and chose to go to college in Chicago and move in with me and Adam! I was and am THRILLED to have my son with me full-time. He’s just a super amazing person.

I had a blast redoing his room, and my office as well. I ended up making almost everything in my office pink or white, which meant new desks, new shelving, and new chairs. I gave Aidan my old black desk and gaming chair. We installed shelving in his room so he could display all his collectibles and LEGO, and I put together an epic snack cart. That project was SO MUCH FUN. On both accounts. I have an epic snack cart, too.

In fall 2021, my baby started COLLEGE! It’s still hard for me to believe he’s a *man* now. But he’s the very best person I know.

It’s amazing to me that our little family raised this amazing boy. With co-parenting, friendship, and our love for Aidan, I think we did a pretty good job.


I sold another book! And I’m STILL WORKING ON THAT SAME BOOK. This Night is Ours is due to come out sometime in 2024 and I think we’re in the home stretch of edits. Here’s the book deal announcement. Back when I naively thought I’d be able to write a novel in 3 months. Ha. HAHAHAHAHA. So yeah, the date in the announcement is way off!

I’m excited for you all to read it.


Several months after the loss of Charlotte, we were finally ready to open our hearts to a new kitty. Enter Priya. Because it was 2021, we had to make an appointment to see kittens at PAWS. All of the kittens that day were not very socialized, and most of them were terrified of everything. Priya could be coaxed out of her hiding place with treats, and that’s how we decided on her. Initially, she only wanted Aidan to hold her. At home, she liked Miles right away, but he had to do the hissing thing. Establish his dominance. Now they’re best of friends. I’d never had a calico before, and I adore her so much. She’s finally trusting us (although a sudden movement or loud noise will still spook her, and she’s not a fan of strangers. She does like other cats, though), and she cuddles with me at some point every night. She’s not attached to my hip like Charlotte was, but that was special. I don’t know if any other cat will love me like Charlotte did. I’ll take what I can get from little Priya!


In late summer 2021, my bestie Rena had a baby, and I love that child like my own! Auntie Ronni will do anything for that sweet baby! Not posting pictures here to respect their privacy, but just know that every time I see that kid, my heart melts clear through the floor. Just celebrating all the lovely people in my life… that’s a blessing. Such a blessing.

The Adventure

In July 2021, I took my first trip on a plane since February 2020. I’d gotten vaccinated, and mask mandates were still a thing, so I felt fairly safe flying again. I visited Jennifer and her family, and it was just what the doctor ordered. Lovely summery weather, beautiful beaches, a spa day at The Ritz, and nighttime dinners on the boat. Such a great time.


I made it to Paris!

And I am absolutely enchanted by the place. It’s beautiful, and I cried when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time. The thing is awe-inspiring and enormous. And a bitch to climb. Make sure you go in on the elevator side if you want to go to the top. Because whew! I climbed up to the 2nd floor (see the middle band around the tower?). It was not fun. But I did it. Fortunately, an elevator was available to take me all the way to the top!

Then I got to visit the gorgeous Palace of Versailles (I always spell that wrong). I can’t even describe how amazingly gorgeous it is. And people lived there. What?

And of course, there was no way I was going to Paris without visiting Disneyland Paris!

Disneyland Paris has been a pipe dream for ages, and I never thought I’d get there. But … I put it on a vision board in 2017, and a lot of the things on there have come true! Maybe it’s time for me to make a new, updated vision board and fill it with more dreams, goals, wishes…

Anyway, Disneyland Paris was really cool and quirky. Some of the rides lasted longer than the rides at Disney World, and (Hyper)space Mountain was way more intense. I really loved feeling that Disney magic even in a new place.


I went down south and spent time with dear Jennifer and her (our) family. I took Aidan and my mom. We also visited Adam’s family. It was busy but rewarding and full of love. There were boat rides and Ulta trips and golf carts and Nerf wars and cookies and mac and cheese and beach walks and just so much goodness.

The Wind Down

I look back at my pictures and I’m just awed at the amazing people in my life. It’s easy to forget when anxiety and depression rear their heads and try to take over. It’s easy to forget when I isolate myself in my office (as pretty as it is) and take on too many freelance projects. And it’s easy to forget when I let social media define my self-worth, which happens way too often.

Speaking of freelance, the 2nd half of 2021 found me buried in work. The day job was super busy, freelance was out of control. It was like the world was waking up from 2020 and trying to make up for lost time. By the time Christmas rolled around, I was sick, exhausted, and overwhelmed, and making a point not to overwork myself like that in 2022!!!

But I am happy, overall with how 2021 turned out. I learned a lot, got to open my home, and see people again. I got to venture into the world again. I wish I could say it was a nicer world overall, but the jury is still out on that. I just have to hold on to the things close to me.

Eventually, I will update you on my 2022, but today’s not that day! It’s time for me to wind down and start getting ready for bed. YouTube and Gilmore Girls aren’t going to watch themselves, you know.

More soon!

2 Comments

as 2017 winds down.

autumn in norway

It’s been AGES, right? I say this so much. Then I secretly vow to be better at blogging…and then I fall off again. To be fair, I’ve been fairly busy, and I have so much to tell you!

Since my last post, well, if you followed me on instagram or twitter, you know that I was abroad for most of September. I got to travel with Jennifer, who is one of my very best friends and also my soul sister, and it was amazing. It’s been a month since I’ve been back and I still can’t form words. Not only did I get to eat great food, see beautiful sights, and meet amazing people, but I got to spend a month with Jennifer! Having long distance best friends is hard, so we pretty much crammed all of our girl time into those three and a half weeks.

Here are a few photo collages from the trip:

💕💕💕💕🐝🌼👯
(I stole this one from Jennifer)

Oh #copenhagen #denmark, I love you so so so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Well hello there Denmark! I certainly did not expect to love you so much!! ❤️ #Denmark #copenhagen #europe #travel

A wonderful day in #norway ☀️😍

I got back to Chicago and was immediately thrust back into full-time and freelance work. I worked some when I was abroad, but it was different, working in a hotel room in Italy or Denmark rather than my apartment in Chicago. There, I’d open the window and listen to the languages and the different sounds and it was so awesome. Here, Fi is still making stinky messes every 40 minutes or so. I don’t have much room to spread out like I want. They’re tearing down a building across the street and for a week straight, my entire building would shake while they were doing their work. Charlotte has grown a lot, and she is a very naughty kitten! I’m covered in scratches and bites. She’s not the little rag doll she was the first day she came home. She’s feisty and vocal and strong-minded. I’ve had to start using the squirt bottle on her. I hate doing it, but she’ll just keep being naughty otherwise. Sometimes it’s exhausting. But then she tires out and collapses on me, and holds on to me so tight, and all my exasperation with her evaporates.

Also during October, Aidan went to homecoming (I KNOW), I got a massage, I got all my watches fixed, I cleaned out a lot of clothes and things to donate, and I cleaned out the bathroom and threw out four bags of old shampoo and body washes and things. I did a panel at Windy City RWA with my fellow ChiYA bloggers. I kept up (mostly) with my Personal Power University class (don’t ask me about the homework I still have to turn in!). And Aidan popped in for a long weekend. It was cool spending time with my awesome kid. Adam’s parents also popped in for a bit, and that was cool.

The Fam

I also spent weeks trying to catch up and I think I’m *finally* there. It felt like my To-Do lists were growing even though I was steadily doing things. I haven’t been back to yoga, or barre (haha in years for this one), I barely got any new writing done. I interviewed for a job but ultimately decided it wasn’t for me. That was a weird position to be in. So much is going on all the time…and the Day Job is busy. So it does seem like the list of things to do is never ending. So, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I came home after my massage Saturday and slept for hours and hours. Got up, maybe had a snack, and then slept all night.

But now, it’s two minutes to midnight at the time of this typing. That means November is not only looming, but it’s HERE, and it will definitely be here when this post goes live. Every weekend through the end of the year is booked except one and I just hope I can sleep in at least two of them. Soon there will be Thanksgiving and Christmas and expectations and family and oh God. I can’t even think about it now.

Instead, I’m going to bed. Till next time!

Just me

Comments Off on as 2017 winds down.

breather.

Airport selfie while wearing my fave hat and #colourpop ultra matte lip

You guys. YOU GUYS. I survived! I’m up for air. I made it.

This latest contract had me working many hours, reading hundreds of pages a day. And this was in addition to the DayJob™, sneaking in writing revisions, events, visits from family and friends, meet-ups, appointments, and errands.

I am POOPED.

I’m exhausted and sick; coming down with my first cold in maybe a year or so?

But also proud. Because I did that, they are very happy with my work, and my relationship with is client is awesome. I survived the madness and I am so excited. (I am also hopped up on cough medicine with codeine in it at the moment so if this entry seems a bit goofy, that’s why.)

So far, this month (and part of September as well—because that’s when all this stuff started), I:

01. Attended a #ChiYA meet-up. It’s a group of Chicago authors of YA, and we’re going to do all sorts of cool things. *sings* Just you wait….
02. Finished this massive contract—maybe thousands of pages. Sent the invoice yesterday, so now I wait. And then save/pay off credit card/Christmas shop/buy something special for me.
03. Started *two* new contracts! One with a new company called Envision—they seem really nice. I’m excited about the work I’ll be doing for them. And another project for Berlitz. This one’s scope is WAY less intense.
04. Had many important doctor’s appointments (including my very first mammogram!).
05. Been keeping up with my medicine and my therapy, including the homework assignments she assigns. I really like my therapist.
06. Attended Anderson’s YA Literature Conference and YA Fan Frenzy. Got to hang with lovely author friends and make new author friends, and came away feeling loved and inspired and exhausted.
07. Stayed on the fancy floor in the hotel during the conference. They brought us cookies every night. I could get used to this—it’s part of the reason I work so hard.
08. Got the CUTEST Kate Spade Minnie Mouse bag.
09. Voted.
10. Got to see Rena *twice*. She’s my bestie, I should be seeing her more often. We’re both so swamped with work. Thank God for Google Hangouts. We talk almost every day on there.
11. Hosted my friend Sun, who I’ve known online forEVER. It was so fun hanging with her, relaxing with her, and having her in my home. She brought a nice energy.
12. Spent time with Aidan, who was here from 10/12–10/17. Never enough time, but it was fun. We ate junk food, watched raunchy stand up comedy, and laughed a lot.
13. Shopped, donated, supported people I care about, and some strangers I barely know.
14. Attended the Sia concert. Loved her show very much. Lots of dancing and artsy stuff. Very enjoyable!
15. Started Christmas shopping! 😮🎄

Now I’m back to revisions. Goal is to have them done Halloween! I want to start a new project for #NaNoWriMo, so I have to have my current one in a very good place before then. I’m very excited for the possibilities for both. 🙂 I want to be really bold with this new project. Unapologetic, but still sweet. So eager to get started. We’ll see if I still feel the same once I’ve started, though.

But this weekend, aside from some tinkering with the novel, I SLEEP ALL THE SLEEPS. READ ALL THE BOOKS. And maybe call my mommy if my throat settles down.

Next week, I have to fix my car, get it tested, and then register it for another year. Just bought one of those portable battery chargers–hope that gets her running again. I’d love to have the freedom to drive so I can get a massage from Jan and also Christmas shop!

So, up next for the next 4–6 weeks:

01. Whatever deliverables for the two new contracts.
02. Plan Christmas shopping.
03. Get car squared away.
04. More doctor’s appointments.
05. #NaNoWriMo
06. Schedule and partake in a spa day.
07. Keep taking meds properly and going to therapy.
08. Prep for Thanksgiving! OMG.
09. More Christmas shopping.
10. Read read read. So behind on reading, my TBR pile is obscene.

I’m sure there is more, but I’m ready to relax now.

RELAX.

Wow. It feels very strange not having a big deadline looming over me. My next freelance deliverable isn’t due until EOD Monday, and it’s not a huge thing. Which means an entire weekend free. I’d forgotten what that felt like.

But I’m sure it’ll come back to me. Easily. 😂

Just Me. Feeling Kinda Pretty. :)

1 Comment

epic adventure: epcot

Epcot

Hi! I know it’s been a while. It takes a lot to put one of these posts together, and I’ve been super busy with work. But today my brain is scattered in 23849 different directions, so I thought, why not catch up. Or try to, anyway?

EPCOT_ECENTR1_7355443959

Aidan and I went to Epcot twice while on our trip. The first day, it was the two of us, and we had a good time. There was adventuring and characters and rides! There was one part that sucked, though. We were in line to meet Donald Duck when my phone started going crazy, showing me all these fraudulent charges using my Capital One. Then we were next and Donald had to go eat a taco (It was the Mexico Donald Duck.) I’d been trying to get a Donald all trip and argh. The card stuff eventually got sorted, so it all worked out. And that evening? We ate at Garden Grill and had an amazing time. Seriously, that restaurant blows me away EVERY SINGLE TIME I go, and this was my 11th time there.

Untitled

We got the HOOKUP for dessert, thanks to Sam, the amazing manager. Check this out:

Untitled

Can you even believe? I still can’t.

We watched the fireworks with my friend Joey and he dropped us off at the hotel after which was so nice of him.

The 2nd day we went, it was our last day in a Disney park for our trip. So those days are always bittersweet. Aidan wanted a hat, but not any hat. THIS HAT:

Untitled

I’d just gotten the official word that Humana wanted to hire me as a contractor, so I was happy to buy it for him from the China pavilion.

We did the Character Connection, which is always different every time we go!

Untitled

Eventually, Aidan and I met up with Joey and his daughters (Bella and Victoria) that afternoon and ate pizza at Via Napoli. That pizza tasted FREAKING DELICIOUS. We rode Test Track and Mission: Space with them as well. Aidan wanted to ride Orange: More Intense and so did Bella. Joey didn’t want Bella to ride it at first; I just think he didn’t want her to go alone. When I told him that I was letting Aidan go, he let her go too. I love that I can let Aidan do that. I was never going to tell him “no.”

Victoria and I played the games in the Mission Control part while we waited, and when that ended, I got her some astronaut ice cream, which she’d never even heard of, let alone tried!

At some point during the day, this bird somehow got ahold of a mayo packet. There was a cast member standing under the tree trying to get him to drop it but this bird was like LOL.

Untitled

That night, I had to pick up my rental car. Aidan and I were crashing out at Joey’s for a couple of nights before heading up the Florida coast. Joey made us dinner and let me do laundry, and we got to talk to Ricky Luna on video chat, and watch Wishes (the Magic Kingdom fireworks) from Joey’s window. Then we had to go to bed. It was LEGOland the next day!

Comments Off on epic adventure: epcot