aidan

Falling Forward

20 August 2012 / aidan, life, pictures, to do

Aidan is back in Ohio. He left early this afternoon. It was hard. It always is. The summer good-bye is always the hardest, though. Because he’s been with me for so long and I’ve gotten so used to him being here. It’s so quiet in the apartment now.

Yesterday, all three of us went to Naperville just to hang out–our last full day of hanging out in the summer of 2012.

He’s like a kid in a…oh.

We had a fun day. I miss that little booger. *sigh* But this year, I did something I’d never gotten the chance to do. I got to buy Aidan all his school supplies and some of his school clothes! Chris and Matt usually do that after Aidan’s in Ohio. Chris did buy most of Aidan’s school clothes, and Matt got him his backpack. But I got to buy all the supplies (I’ll take any excuse to buy office/school supplies) and his lunchbox and socks and stuff like that. Probably kinda silly to get excited over that, but I’m not going to apologize for it.

So, this evening I’ve been sort of relaxing but also trying to sort out all the stuff I need to start focusing on. It’s time for seasonal deep cleaning. The annoying thing about cleaning is that it doesn’t STAY that way after all that hard work. But a dear friend of mine pointed me toward the UFYH tumblr and it has some really great ideas about getting stuff done. Adam wants to reorganize our coat closet area in the front room, which I’m totally in agreement with. I have a LOT of coats and I’d love to see them all contained in a wardrobe that CLOSES. If we can find one big enough. I’d like it to have room to hold shoes and purses as well. I know.

I also need to go through all my clothes and get rid of stuff. Like for real. I have too many clothes and nowhere to put them. It’s time to go HAM on that stuff. The last time I did that was 2008. Basically, here is a rundown of all the work I want to do:

– Declutter my closets. All three of them. Getting rid of clothes, shoes, coats, anything I simply cannot fit or don’t/won’t wear anymore.
– Thorough cleaning of Aidan’s room. Boys are truly disgusting sometimes. I’m not sure WHAT Aidan did in there but man. Adam and I have our work cut out for us.
– Clean up the foyer. The motor oil stain on the carpet out there–we can’t do anything about (don’t even ask but it wasn’t our fault), but there are random boots and shovels and paint cans out there. I’d like to clean it up at least a little bit.
– Organize all my CDs. I have a buttload of CDs and I have to figure out how to get them somewhere easily accessible yet they need to be nicely organized.
-Redo the DVD shelves. They WERE organized, but Aidan and Adam have since ransacked the things looking for certain DVDs and/or video games.
– Unclutter my lotions, soaps, hair products, fragrances, makeup, etc. I have SO MUCH of that stuff and most of it just needs to GTFO.
– Clean out the refrigerator. It’s back to being a hot mess.
– Clean out carb city. Cause there are things there that have been there since 2008 or 2009 (unopened, of course), and y’all, that ain’t kosher.
– Get rid of old magazines and catalogs. I don’t know WHY I am holding on to some of my magazines… I get so many free subscriptions and honestly, the ONLY ONES I ever really read are Reader’s Digest and Yoga Journal (which are not free, go figure), so I need to let all the other subscriptions run out and just keep those two, right? I mean, I LIKE having my bathroom filled with Popular Science (come on, it’s SCIENCE!) and W and the Rachael Ray magazine (they were all free!), but Newsweek is usually outdated by the time I get around to reading it. I don’t even know what else I subscribe to. Oh wait, Fitness or Self or Shape something like that. I don’t need to renew those subscriptions. And catalogs. I keep Free People around for writing inspiration, but I need to just cut out the pictures I like and trash the rest. I don’t want to get rid of my American Girl catalogs but seeing as I have them come to two different addresses, I don’t need to have doubles of all of them, now do I?
– Do something about the HUGE number of books I have. Which will be painful, but is so necessary. We’re completely out of shelf space.
– Clean up my doll display. I still haven’t unboxed my Designer Jasmine and Tiana, and one of my Ellowyne Wilde dolls is hidden behind a baby Tiana doll. Poor Katniss is sitting here like “WTF. You bought me as soon as you could and now I’m just sitting here in the box.” I need to change my Julie out of her summer clothes and into an autumn outfit and maybe I should think about displaying another American Girl doll because I have 12 of them and most of them are in a bin in Aidan’s room.

Me and Julie, when I first got her in 2009.
She was an early birthday present. 🙂

The Katniss Barbie I just got last week.

Some of these need to be done immediately, others (like the CDs and DVDs) are pipe dream projects that will happen when I’m inspired, have time, and really just want to get it DONE. I also feel like some trips to Garden Ridge and/or The Container Store and/or Ikea need to happen for everything to take place like I want it. AND I need to have a plan when I go into those stores. We went to Ikea last week and my mind just goes like this about EVERYTHING whenever I’m there:

And then I get all overwhelmed and I’m just like:

So I really need to have some sort of plan before I hit those stores. It’s cute that Ikea sent me a huge catalog the other day, isn’t it, tho?

Basically, though, for my sanity and just because it’s better, I need to seriously tackle some projects around the house. Get some music on, bust it out, room by room, and be like:

Maybe I can post before/after pictures? Make it kind of a series here? What do you think? I wonder if I could even stick to it, but it would be great accountability….

In other words, I got my yoga teacher training midterm today. Twelve pages, 225 questions, 4.5 credit hours. I have until September 20 to get it done. Trying to coordinate meetings with my other classmates so we can work on it together. I’ve already filled out a few answers that I knew off the top of my head. We’ll see how it goes.

My 2013 Life Planner arrived on Saturday. I think it’s super pretty! 🙂

My 2012 Life Planner has been amazing. I take the thing just about everywhere and I love showing it off to people. It’s worth every dime I paid for it, and I’ve already started filling in my 2013 Life Planner. Lots of yoga teacher training things to populate.

And this guy finally got to come home with me:

Love Beast! 🙂

One thing I really want to do is cut back on my Internet time. I waste away many, many hours on tumblr and Facebook games when I have toys to be played with, books to read, hell, books to WRITE, yoga poses to practice, journals to write in, pictures to take, an exercise bike to use, and of course, there is that list^^ of all the cleaning I need to tackle. But it’s hard because as a freelancer, I am essentially ON CALL and need to be available, at least from 9am-5pm M-F. (Who am I kidding? Like I actually get up at 9am!) And I’m actually really happy with the amount of work I’ve been getting. It’s just the right balance. Enough to keep me quite busy, but it’s not taking over my entire life and stressing me out to the point of tears and wishing I would get sick so I could call off work.

But in the evenings? I really need to unplug. One thing I loved about the movie Juno was that the parents were never on their computers. They were always doing crafts or projects–engaging in hobbies that were not computer/tablet/smartphone related. And even though I suspect that Juno was set in a time when life wasn’t so computer-centered, it’s still nice to see.

OK, this entry is really long. Sorry about that. I guess I had a lot to say.

‘Til next time!

12 Comments

The Sucky Part of Being a Mom

19 July 2012 / aidan, mommyhood

Now I know what it meant when a parent (mine never said this, mind you) on TV says “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Because having to be strict and discipline your child, seeing him upset and crying, is NOT the thing. And I fought it. Boy did I fight it. I’m not a confrontational person, so it was really hard for me to do it and follow through.

BUT he did something that broke my trust, so all the fun stuff had to be taken away (in all fairness, I think he got off VERY easily considering), and I hated doing it. But I know that I have to. I’m not trying to be on Jerry Springer or something like that duking it out with my kid. No way.

Being a mom is hard. But not hard enough for me to EVER say, “This is hurting me more than it hurts you.” Heh.

4 Comments

Tired Girl

3 April 2012 / aidan, life, pictures, yoga teacher training

Wow. I’m really, really tired. By the time yoga teacher training would down today, I was like “Guh guh guh.” I don’t know if it’s the weather, my hormones (probably my hormones), or just a general feeling of “blah” creeping over the city of Chicago. All I know is that it’s icky.

I’m totally tempted to just go to bed now, but I have a long day tomorrow and I don’t want to nap now and end up wide awake in the middle of the night, then fall asleep at 545am only to be awakened too early because some IDIOT is hammering outside.

(There should be a law. No one should ever be allowed to hammer before 10am. It’s just rude!)

OK, now it’s many hours later. Aidan’s dad got an iPod touch, and Aidan’s figured out how to use Facetime to call me. He’s been calling me every night to Facetime and it’s been neat. He can show me things he’s talking about and vice versa. It’s also nice to see his face. Tonight, he called while I was writing this entry, therefore giving me something to do instead of going to bed way too early.

Here’s something really cool. Aidan is on Honor Roll, and he just got his best report card EVER. He’s getting awards left and right. He said he loves school and apparently he is thriving there. I’m excited for him and I hope he continues to love school and learning as much as he does now. Unfortunately, I peaked in third grade and things went downhill from there. I hope that’s not the case with Aidan. At any rate, now I have a bonafied excuse to give him surprises and to do something special for him! 🙂

Teacher training was hard for me today. I was already moody (although getting an entire train car from Chicago to Division was pretty neat). I got to the stuido later than usual and ended up way in the back when I usually sit in the front. I don’t like sitting in the back. It makes me tired and I feel less connected. I feel like I’m lost in the shuffle. I had different teaching partners which was nice, but I did miss Christine. I was fatigued and I just could NOT get on track with the teaching practice! I know I’m new and I can’t expect to be perfect (heck, even teachers with many years of experience mess up sometimes!), but today I felt like it was especially awkward.

I know what was weird for me. Today, I actually taught a small group (OK, two people) instead of just one. I got all discombobulated because:

1.) I was teaching some poses I’d never taught before. (Although that never tripped me up quite as much as it did today.)
2.) It was WEIRD telling people to do moves and having them silently do them. I got all insecure like “Oh my God, I hope they don’t think I’m dumb. Oh God, what comes next? I can’t remember! Where are my notes? AH HELP! Oh boy, I am doing terribly at this!”

How in the world do I get over that feeling? I guess I have 12 months to figure it out.

And then there is the food. We talk a LOT about food every week, and part of the curriculum is to watch Supersize Me and Food, Inc. You know who’s thrilled about that? Adam. (Not really.) He already knows I have food issues, he already knows how hard it is to keep me fed. I’m pretty sure this journey is going to be a challenge when it comes to eating. It already is in some aspects. So the thought of dealing with *that* is making me tired.

And all the racism stuff. My head aches from everything that’s been going on. Like the Hunger Games. The number of people upset that some of the characters in the movie AND book were black is sad and disturbing (because hello, can’t they read?), but not necessarily shocking for me. Yeah, it bothers me, but honestly, I’m used to being part of a world where some people think I am less than and will do everything in their power to make sure I stay that way. The attitudes of some people, and their vehement denial about life in this country for minorities don’t surprise me, but their absolute unwillingness to open their minds just the tiniest amount so they can listen and learn instead of trying to point the finger and place blame on others really bugs me. I have a lot of things to say about it, but I think I’ll save it for another post. Not in the mood to get too deep tonight.

I know what I need. I need some sun combined with warmer temps, hugs from Aidan (coming Friday YAY!), and a massage. A good sleep (without wailing cats, loud sexing neighbors, an overactive bladder, and random people pounding with hammers to wake me up) would be nice, too (but that’s not going to happen).

At least tomorrow I will see family, eat sushi, and make some $$. Oh and it’s payday. Woohoo!

OK, bedtime.

‘Til next time.

6 Comments

Quiet Around These Parts

2 January 2012 / aidan, pictures

Aidan is back in Ohio now. He flew out this evening. Some goodbyes are a lot harder than others. For example, over the summer, he cried as he was getting on the plane. That made ME cry. But tonight? The pilot took him to the plane, which Aidan always loves. And we’d laughed our fool heads off during dinner, because he and I are silly and wacky like that and I know for sure that Adam often looks at us like “What the hell?”

aidan’s dinner.
a rather large slice of pizza.

Tonight’s goodbye was a little bit easier. There were no tears, just lots of hugs and cuddles. It’s always hard for me, though, not to have my little boy with me all the time. At the time when his dad asked for residency, I didn’t belive I was in shape to be a good mom, plus I didn’t want to screw up Aidan’s life and his routine any more than I already had. But now, I want him here with me…but I don’t want to uproot his life. He’s doing well there. He loves school (and he is KICKING BUTT at it if I do say so myself), he’s got his friends, he’s got a life there. And he gets to spend all his vacations in a cool city.

Still. Sometimes I miss kissing that little face so much it aches. I love hearing him laugh. (He’s got the cutest laugh.) And let’s not go there with the guilt.

So, for now, Adam and I will go back to our quiet little life here. And I’ll go back to counting the days until Aidan’s next visit.

8 Comments

Happy Birthday, Aidan!

30 December 2011 / aidan, birthday, friday favorite things, meme, pictures, yay

Happy Birthday, Aidan!

He’s 9 years old today!

And the BEST 9 year old in the world.
If I do say so myself.

We took him to Toys R Us
and where he picked out
loads of LEGOs.

He asked that we take him to
Burger King for lunch,
so we did that.

Now he’s happily playing
with his new toys, and eating his
birthday treats from
Dunkin’ Donuts.

Birthdays are my favorite.
Buying presents for Aidan is my favorite.
Watching him get so much joy out of his gifts is my favorite.
Even listening to him sing “Happy Birthday” to himself over and over….
That’s my favorite, too.

Linking up with:

8 Comments

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