church

Interesting Weekend

/ aidan, books, car, church, friends, life, shopping, weekend

Spent Friday night with my brother and Aidan. That was great. It’s always amazing to hang out with Rob. Took them to Max & Erma’s and then we went to Best Buy. I bought Popular The 2nd Season on DVD. Actually, Mommy did. I used the gift card she gave me. 🙂 After that, I went to Craig’s where a bunch of people were hanging out and watching the basketball games. Brackets, brackets, brackets. Lord help me.

Joshua A: Cats gone wild!

Most of the day Saturday was spent with a home improvement guy. We *almost* got what he was offering, but Chris got 2nd thoughts so we decided against it. Saturday evening, Chris and I took Becky out to dinner at House of Japan. We ate sushi! (I am so excited that Becky is into sushi now!) I ate other stuff too; too much food. The chef was hilarious. I took pictures. Will have them up soon, I hope.

After dinner, Chris and Aidan went to Craig’s and I came home. I was tired and not feeling well, so I cleaned my room and did my hair. Then I turned in around 1030ish. Early night for me!

Church was cool. I was disappointed that we were not allowed to sit on the floor in the back anymore. I rather liked it there. Todd A was back in town for the weekend; it was great to see him. Saw Garth too, who I’d missed a LOT. We had lunch at Cheeseburger In Paradise which was quite yummy. I brought a lot home, though. Katie gave me a mini-massage which was incredible. She’s so good! Spent most of the day with Bizzy which was a ton of fun, especially since we spent most of the time in Best Buy speaking in British accents. That was awesome. 🙂 Bible study did not happen–the leader Robbie was out sick, and the few of us that showed up kind of hung out for a bit before disbursing. It’s always good to see Monica, Megan S (megnita), and Katie M.

I got three books at Barnes & Noble. The next two in the Georgia Nicholson series, and a book by some lady whose last name is Sark. The title is too long for me to remember right now, but it looks like it’s going to be great. I can’t wait. And I found my yoga book, which I am totally stoked about. From Best Buy, I bought The Wiz. Only $5.99. And I didn’t actually buy it; I still had money on my gift card! I still do!

I love books.

So I definitely need a new car stereo. I was going to go tomorrow to buy it and get it installed (if the wait wasn’t too long), but I think I’ll just wait ’til the weekend. I’ll go early in the day so they can install it same day for sure. It will be sweet; I already know which one I’m getting. I’m getting the iPod mount too, so I can listen to my iPod in the car. It’ll charge it as I’m driving, so no more iPods dying on me like mine did on the way to church! And no more iTrip to deal with either. Woo.

About 5am Saturday morning, Aidan woke up crying. I can’t listen to my baby cry, so I brought him in here with me. He went back to sleep but was up at 8. This was BAD because I’d not been asleep very long. I had stayed up late downloading free MP3s from http://music.download.com Lots of great stuff there! Lots of amazing trance. I can’t wait to try it all. My iPod is very happy. 🙂 Saturday night, I was in bed when Chris got home from Craig’s, but Aidan was asking for me so he put him in here. Aidan cuddled up to me and said “MommEE MommEE” and kept patting my cheek. Let me tell you. That’s an amazing way to fall asleep. This precious little boy softly patting your cheek. Wow. So he and I cuddled and slept all night in here. He didn’t wake up til almost 10 and that’s because Chris’s alarm went off. He was a great little boy all day; well, what I saw of him anyway. Sundays tend to be pretty whirlwind for me because I’m so busy with church stuff. I don’t see Aidan a lot on Sundays. 🙁

Anyway…

Off to bed with me. I grabbed a short nap, then Becky called (and it’s always a pleasure to talk to her). But I’m going back to sleep now. Byeeeee!

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A Potluck Entry

/ car, church, friends, horoscope, life, ronni, survey, Uncategorized

Lots of Randomness Ahead.

Ronni,
You are quite willing to apply all your energy toward making your life easier now, but it may seem as if there are no quick answers. Your unexpressed insecurities have more of a hold on you than you realize. There is, however, great potential in the current situation, but you’ll need to slow down and take the time to discover what is here for you. If you can avoid being such an optimist for a while and see things as they really are, you’ll learn an important lesson about creating intimacy.

I LOVE tarot.com. It’s like–they know everything. And I love how their horoscopes aren’t all “this is going to happen today.” It’s about how I’m feeling. I wonder if other people with my sign are dealing with similar issues?

It’s scary and amazing how a certain incident can trigger all sorts of things within oneself–things this person thought were buried or resolved. Sometimes the response is more emotional than one had anticipated–often to the point of shock and then self-revulsion. I know exactly what this part is referring to: Your unexpressed insecurities have more of a hold on you than you realize. Now that I’m aware, I have to keep being patient with myself as I work through it.

Worried about a few things; people mainly. You know who you are. I’m here if you need to talk.

I NEED to get an oil change this weekend. NEED. I’m like 6,000 miles past the limit. Tire rotation is due too. Can you believe I put over 20,000 miles on my car in a year? I drive a LOT. Let’s not talk about how much I spend in gas. Yeah, about that. I spend probably $60 a week in gas, and that’s a little Hyundai Accent. Approx. 8.5 gallon tank. Costs me close to $20 to fill it up because gas is getting so expensive. So… I guess we are to expect the prices to hover around $2.00/gallon now?

I’m going to need to do some freelance work to make up for that!

Now if I could just not be a chicken-shit and actually submit some freelance stuff….

I am so glad it’s Friday. The weather is finally warming up! Spring is this Sunday WHEEE! It’ll be summer before I know it! YEA! Cute clothes, flipflops, cool sunglasses-here I come!

I think we’re going to finally get A/C put in our house this year too. No more fans! Ha!

I hope to spend a lot of time connecting and reconnecting with my friends this summer. I love the summertime. I’m looking forward warm temps, NO SNOW, sunshine, parties, cookouts, game nights, campouts (yes, Rob??) and then some. I can’t wait for the winter to be over.

I forgot to write that I had dinner with my friend Tony a couple of Sundays ago. It was really nice. We ate at Max & Erma’s. He had just come from work and he has to dress up so he looked really hot. He doesn’t believe me when I say he’s hot, but it’s true. I’ll have to post a picture of him.

The dinner went very well. We talked and talked and talked. It was very good and extremely enjoyable.

OOooo, how happy am I at the prospect of sunlight wafting through the house?? Now I just have to clean it. AGAIN. Son of a….

I miss Rob. A LOT.

I’m thinking of getting a new car stereo. My CD player is busted. When I put CDs in, it makes this nasty tapping noise and my CDs start to skip. Chris says it needs to be cleaned. So I’m going to try that. If that doesn’t work, then I’m going to look into a new stereo. I’d love a CD Player/Cassette Desk combo. I really want to be able to play my iPod in the car without using an FM Transmitter. I have an iTrip and it’s rather annoying. Can’t say I wasn’t warned, though. ‘Cause I was.

The song “Roses” by Outkast is stuck in my head.

And now for a bit of soul-baring:

I get scared when I find myself in friendships that are deepening. When I really hit it off with someone, I embrace them, then I immediately want to push them away. I know it comes from being hurt so much in the past. From letting people in and trusting them only for them to betray me. Or dismiss me.

I think back to the cycles in my life. The times when I was incredibly social to the times I locked myself in my apartment and made videos of myself singing “This Kiss.” *blush* I flip-flop so much between dying for alone time and longing to be with my friends! It’s so confusing and weird.

I know that I’m trying to protect myself and my heart. But how much is too much? I’m in my social period now but I feel myself winding down. Craving more time alone, just with me. In my house. But I refuse to shut out the people I know now–I’ve been having too much fun with them and they mean way too much to me. I’ve grown up (somewhat, not really) and I just can’t shut people out anymore because I’m scared they’re going to hurt me. And I KNOW it’s fear.

I have to break through it.

Dammit. I have so much work to do. And then after all the efforts, I’ll end up dying in the end anyway. Funny, that.

I want to do something with people tonight, I think. Maybe go and grab a bite to eat. Or maybe rent/watch a movie. Anyone up for it?

I’ve got my script memorized (almost) for The Grove on Tuesday. Excitement abounds–My HCC acting debut! 🙂 I love acting. Did y’all know I was a theatre major my first year in college? I switched to psychology because I thought I’d have a better shot at landing a realistic job. I wish I’d switched to Communication. Trying to break into that field is HARD. 🙁 And it’s what I’m good at and what I love to do. I don’t even get interviews–so I have to maybe rework my cover letter so they can see the passion I have for that and then call me for interviews so I can WOW them. *sigh*

Anyway.

I stole it from sylvehr! 🙂

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Ronni
Birthday: December 20
Birth place: Cleveland, OH
Current Location: Columbus, OH
Hair Color: (naturally) Golden
Righty or Lefty: Righty

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Good Lord, as if I know.
Shoes you wore today: My Chuck Taylor knock-offs. So frikkin comfy…
Your weakness: SHOPPING!!
Your perfect pizza: Ham. Mmmm.
Goal you’d like to achieve: I would like to be a successful, published author.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase: “What the banana…?” or “So…”
Your thoughts first waking up: “Already?”
Your best physical feature: Eyes and smile.
Your bedtime: I don’t really have one…
Your most missed memory: Huh?

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: Ick. Neither.
McDonald’s or Burger King: I love them both.
Adidas or Nike: neither. CONVERSE baby!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: *shrug* I’m not a huge tea drinker.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: No.
Cuss: Sometimes.
Single: No.
Have a crush: No.
Think you’ve been in love: Yes.
Believe in yourself: I’m learning to.
Get motion sickness: If I read or something for too long while in the car, yes.
Think you’re attractive: 90% of the time.
Think you’re a health freak: NO WAY.
Get along with your parents: Sure.
Like thunderstorms: I HATE THEM.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yes.
Gone on a date: No.
Gone to the mall: Heck yes!
Been on stage: No.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No. Hahaha.
Eaten sushi: I WISH! Dang it, I want some sushi.
Been dumped: No.
Gone skating: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Stolen anything: No.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: No.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Mmm yeah. About that…
Been called a tease: Not to my face.
Gotten beaten up: No.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: Already am.
Number of Children: I have one and that’s quite enough, thankyouverymuch.
How do you want to die: I don’t know!
What do you want to be when you grow up: A writer.
What country would you most like to visit: UK, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Scotland just to name a few.

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color?: Blue!
Best hair color?: Dark brown.
Short or long hair: However it looks nice.
Height: Tall.
Best first date location: Somewhere involving food.
First kiss location: *shrug*

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people you could trust with your life: Very few.
Number of CDs you own: not sure. Um… LOTS!
Number of piercings: Two.
Number of tattoos: Zero.
Number of times your name has appeared in the Newspaper?: At least three.
Number of scars on your body: A few.

Weird survey.

Byeee!

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A Little Bit of This, a Little Bit of That…

/ aidan, church, grrr!, life

Randomness. Just feel like letting things bubble out of me for now.

Dealing with residual bad feelings about certain things (read: people) but trying not to think of it too much. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. My stomach gets all icky inside and the bitterness I feel. It’s just… UGH.

This week has been crazy. Monday night–what the heck did I do? Ah. Went to play around with the copy machine and see how The Bark would come out. Got home around 830ish. Rob came over later, around 10. We hung out. Tuesday night was The Grove. Ah yes. The madness before the show. Powerpoint, The Bark, trying to get everything to come together. Somehow it did. And Jenny E and I got RAVE reviews on The Bark. 🙂 I’m so excited about it, and I had so much fun doing it.

After The Grove, a few of us hung around talking and talking. Then Rob called and he, Kim, Mr. Matt, Tina, Bizzy and I went to Steak and Shake. WOOHOO. I was so happy to see Rob at The Grove! 🙂

Tonight was the chiropractor. Didn’t get home until after 7! Chris ordered pizza, I gave Aidan a bath. I got some writing done which makes me very happy! Finished the 2nd installment in the Georgia Nicholson books, will pick up the 3rd sometime soon. I’m glad the books are fairly cheap. 🙂 Another reason to love YA novels.

Returned stuff to the library, and FINALLY returned Undercover Brother to the video store. I’m sure my fees are insane by now. Oops. That’s why I’m not that great with libraries and video rentals. I just don’t get around to returning them when I should. Oops. But the library stuff is in BEFORE the due date. So hahaha.

Got complimented by Boss #2. He told me I’m doing a good job and then pointed out the things I’m doing well. That’s important to me. 🙂 He’s so funny and cool.

Lots to do Thursday evening. Gotta get a dress, maybe shoes. I’d thought of going to the mall, but I’m too tired already, so Fashion Bug it is. Maybe, if I’m feeling brave and ambitious, I can pop over to Walmart and pick up a few things I’ll need this weekend. Yes, I’ll do that. Not too far from home, so I won’t be getting home too late.

THIS WEEKEND WILL ROCK! 😀

I’ve been BUSY, and it’s okay. As long as I get enough rest I can handle it. The resting is the hard part because my mind is racing a mile a minute all the time.

Aidan is soooo amazing. He’s talking more and more and more and now he knows colors! He knows yellow, blue, green, and purple!! He knows more letters, is making more little sentences and soaking up new words like a spong. He was so cute at the chiropractor! She adjusted him, and he hugged and kissed her. Then it was my turn. I got the super duper deluxe adjustment which I need. My upper back has been hurting a lot lately. 🙁 When she was done with me, he made me get back on the table, then he pretended to adjust me. It was the best thing ever. I love my little Aidan.

Ugh. I was listening to WNCI today and the DJ pissed me off so much I deleted the radio station from the programming in my car. UGH ACK ACK. What a jerk. He said that all children under the age of 7 should wear dog collars that are controlled by every human. And anytime said child did something annoying, people could push a button and administer progressively worse shocks. UGH, I was so furious I was shaking. Joking or not, that kind of crap is not funny. Even Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are better with kids than that! He had the nerve to say he was easy-going and laid back. Whatever.

My argument is this. If the kid’s being a brat, shock the parents for not paying attention or whatever. But that’s a stupid idea. Just as shocking a DOG is stupid and mean too. Ugh, what a JERK. I still have half a mind to tell this DJ “oh sure, we’ll get that implemented right away, but not until you have your first child. Cause you see, that will be the one we start with.” UGH. Brought back bad memories of another certain person saying that kind of crap who is lucky he wasn’t in my presence when it was said. I hate people who say cruel things about children. Some children are bad, I admit, but get the parents, not the kids, especially YOUNG ones. Kids will be kids and most under 7 act the way they do because they don’t know better. Get the parents for not teaching them better, I say.

DOUBLE GRRRR.

Okay enough of that, I’m getting all riled up and that stupid DJ (or anyone else who says junk like that) is sooo not worth it.

I am SOO full of things I want to write but I can’t because I have to be up for work in the morning. There are not enough hours, I swear. Well, there seem to be PLENTY for work all day. None for all the other things. *sigh* I have to get my writing career going. I’ve been waiting and holding back too long. It’s time to shift into serious mode.

My counselor told me I need a work area for my writing alone. So the desk idea I was thinking some entries back is coming back to mind now. I’ll think about it. She said a dedicated work area would make it more real and serious to me. So many people are pulling for me and this writing thing and I’m so scared. Of failing, of success, everything. Dear Lord give me some braverism and strength and patience.

I’m tired and my back feels like poop. I took a pain killer. No dice. Son of a…..

Later, gators.

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*sigh*

/ body and soul, church, sad

I’ve decided that I’m giving up McDonalds for Lent.

This means that I should stuff myself with McDonalds the next two days. Because as of Wednesday, no more of that for me until Easter! Will I survive? Will I, will I, will I?

(Of course I will, I’ve gone longer than 40 days before).

I forgot to write about Bible Study yesterday. I think it’s going to be really good. If I can commit to all thirteen weeks of it. I haven’t spent time with just GIRLS in that kind of a setting… ever. It’s a new experience for me. Although I talk so much I worry if I’m annoying people. So I’ll try not to speak up so much next time.

Wednesday is supposed to start this whole new spiritual thingy at my church. Journey to the Cross it’s called. I remember how excited I was about the 40 Days of Purpose thing they did. I started off and was all enthusiastic and motivated. Got to chapter two of Purpose Driven Life and it all fizzled. I haven’t opened the book since. I was excited for When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. I got halfway through the workbook and then stopped. I don’t even know where the book is! So, I hope that I can maybe stick to the Journey or the Search for Significance study. ‘Cause I lose interest/motivation in the middle of so many things. Sucks.

I’m dibble-dabbling in a few Grove ministries now, trying to find a place to fit, a place I can be creative, a place I can contribute and serve. A place I’m wanted. I’ve been to the drama meeting, the newsletter meeting, and I have another meeting this week. I don’t think I’ll be able to do everything I want, but if I can do a couple of things that aren’t too intensive, then I think I’ll be (kind of) happy and not overwhelmed.

I feel bummed right now. Not sure why. I’m not really that tired. Just… meh. Heavy-hearted is what I’m looking for, I think. Irritated at people and their expectations of me. Annoyed at the expectations I have of myself. Guilt for anything and everything. My “beautiful” smile is ruined for the next ten or so days. Lack of motivation is high. I think Aidan kept trying to touch my face last night and I kept pushing his little fingers away. I feel badly about that. Chris finally put him in his room at some point; I barely remember it though. Benadryl will do that to ya, I guess.

So yeah. I’m missing my poor sick little boy too.

And I’m feeling blah all over. 🙁

NO TIME TO GET SICK. I can’t take any days off without receiving some kind of punishment. I have to be strong here.

akdafadklfjalk I’m crashing again. Fun fun. Not so much. *eye roll*

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Tired & Stuff

/ aidan, church, family, friends, horoscope, life, shopping

Went to Aurora yesterday. It was fun. Got great things from Mommy and Greg–a Mickey Mouse anniversary clock, a bath basket set, a teeshirt, bath stuff, plaques, and the $100 gift card. Aidan was SPOILED. He got a bike! He loves it, too! 🙂 We went to the outlet stores at Aurora Farms and I got a few things at Gap–a new scarf, hat and glove set, and some nail polish. Oh and a cute new purse too. I used my $25 gift card and only had to pay $14 out of my account.

I woke up this morning intending to go to church. Then Aidan woke up and started crying. So Chris went and got him, and Aidan wanted to cuddle with me. So I did! 🙂 Then I changed his diaper and decided not to go to church. I’d even put my pajamas back on. So Aidan and I cuddled in the bed for a while. But then he turned back to normal Aidan and I was able to go. While I was getting ready, Bizzy otaku_witch called and said she’d meet me at church. WooHoo, I love hanging with her!!! 🙂 In short, I was pretty late to church, but got enough out of the message. Bizzy, Katie live4himalways, and I went to lunch at Burger King, then Bizzy and I shopped for a bit. I got 2 pairs of running pants, a shirt, 4 camis, and a bag. I LOVE shopping. 😀 And I LOVE Bizzy!!!

Went to Chad & Christy’s for dinner–we had a yummy spaghetti bake thingy. Chad’s parents were there. They’re sooo funny. Especially the story about “f*cky kitty.” Ha ha ha! I fell asleep there. I do that a lot, their couches are so comfortable. Aidan was sleeping on me, which was awesome. I love when he sleeps on me!! 🙂 Right now, he’s “playing” a computer game. It’s so cute. He’s loving it, and learning his letters in the process. OOo, now I want to buy him more games! 🙂 He’s so adorable, sitting at the computer and smiling! I <3 Aidan! 🙂 So, I wonder what I am going to spend my Best Buy cards on? I think I have about $125 dollars left. Hmmm. I was thinking DVDs or CDs or something. I don't know. We'll see. I have a slight headache and a backache too. I think I need to get a tremendous amount of rest. But I don't know when that will happen. I'm so busy and full of mental energy and dealing with something sort of stressful and very personal so all of that is kind of taking its toll on me and dang it, I need to take my medication. Tomorrow, I have to do laundry. Oh brother. SO MUCH LAUNDRY. Lord, help me. Also, Irena is coming over to eat spaghetti and hang out, and I'm looking forward to that! 🙂 I AM SO HAPPY I DON’T HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!

This was one of my horoscopes from yesterday:
Some are optimistic, but you feel only exhaustion. Your reach is still long, but your arms are tired. Maybe you don’t have to run such a big empire. Relax your grip and let some of it slide through your fingers.

HAHA, how true was that? I wonder if the horoscope writers read my livejournal? Heh. I doubt it, but it’s still pretty funny.

I have lots of pictures to upload again. Should be fun.

That’s it for now. Byeeee!

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