positivity

I Am Happiest When…

/ happy, positivity, ronni

Intentional Happiness

Bad Mommy Moments !!! Momalom !!!

♥ I’m home with Aidan, Adam, and the cats, and we’re all simply relaxing and being together.
♥ Helena is lying on my legs and purring and purring.
♥ I’m at Disney World.
♥ I have a huge pile of books I can’t wait to read, and not being able to decide which one to start with first.
♥ I’m laughing my head off over the most ridiculous stuff.
♥ Aidan is cracking up at something on YouTube or something I said.
♥ It’s Saturday morning and I don’t have to get up early.
♥ It’s payday and rent’s not due.
♥ I’m getting a hug.
♥ I discover a song that gives me chills from the inside out because it’s so good. (Last song that did that for me was Run by Air.)
♥ I look through my Flickr photostream and remember how blessed and lucky I am to have all those memories, and the opportunities to make more.

Since most of the snow is gone, I no longer hyperventilate when I go outside. Friday, I wore pink to work, and I wore my hair in two braids. I’m starting to feel closer to myself, and I know that as the days keep getting longer and the Equinox approaches, I’ll only get better. Just… please Baby Jesus, don’t let us have another blizzard. Or any more days when the temperature drops below 25F. I’ll be able to (sorta) tolerate the rest of the winter if those two things are in place.

121 days until the Summer Solstice!

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Happy Things in List Form (Pictures)

/ happy, life, pictures, positivity

· Doctor Who was pretty darn sweet this week. Excited about next week’s episode! These two-parters are fun, but they’re also not. I’m so impatient. I’m also eager for the series five soundtrack to be available. I’ve been loving the music.

· Only 16 days til Aidan is here! I have a lot of prep to do. I can’t wait to have him here!!! 🙂

· I had a pretty good week, despite some bouts of random crankiness. I had a photo shoot, I got to hang out with Jen H., I went to a tequila dinner, and a kirtan. Yoga classes were great, and I got many, many hugs.

· Hugs are awesome. The other day, I asked Adam if he’d be able to believe that growing up, my family was not touchy-feeley. He was pretty surprised, because my mommy is huggy now. I don’t remember being hugged a lot. My mom kissed me before bed every night, but the only time I remember hugging anyone was when my mother forced me to hug my sister if we were fighting (kiss and make up!). I didn’t start getting hugged a BUNCH until I got much older, and really didn’t happen until I started going to college and going to church. Church people hug a lot. But they aren’t the only ones. Yogis and yoginis hug a lot, too. And I’m thinking that Chicagoans like to hug in general. Authors, too.

· Helena has been super affectionate. She’s not a lap kitty, but she sat on my lap for two hours the other night. Mostly, she’ll lie on my legs and purr, purr, purr. When I come out of the bedroom in the morning, she runs up to me to greet me! And I read in an email from Catster that when cats give you long blinks, it’s like they’re blowing kisses. Guess who gets loads of long blinks from Helena? Oh, and she says “what’s up” to me a lot, too. I could go on.

Beautiful Helena

· I’m helping a friend plan a Disney World trip. I can’t go this year, but I can live vicariously through her. She knows who she is. 🙂

· Hair Rules. Love this stuff. I’m finding a lot of products that work wonderfully with my hair. My curls are pretty tight (my hair is actually longer than it’s been in a while), but they’re defined. This product helps define the curls even more.

· Adam made a simple dinner the other night of spaghetti noodles, parmesan cheese, and snow peas. OMG SO YUMMY. There are a few vegetables I cannot stand, broccoli and cauliflower being among them. But y’all. I will eat the crap out of some snow peas, spinach, and bean sprouts. Can’t get enough of them.

· Adam and I had been getting turkey in the packages for a long time. The other day, we actually went to the deli. I’D FORGOTTEN HOW GOOD TURKEY FROM THE DELI IS. So much better than the pre-packaged stuff! If you thought I couldn’t get enough of turkey sandwiches before, it’s even worse now. Not as bad as my spaghetti thing, but it’s the one thing I crave when I am in triangle pose in yoga class.

· I got to spend time with lots of people this week.

· Weather is warm! Yay!

· No one believes it when I tell them I’m 35. They all think I’m in college or in my early 20s. This RULES, people.

· I’ve been finding specially-made yoga clothing on the cheap. My studio has a $20 rack and the merch changes on it quite a bit. I take advantage, because those tops with the built in bras? And the moisture wicking stuff? A GODSEND for me. The stuff made by Zobha is so comfortable. I love it. But it’s typically very expensive. $58 for a tank, for example. Let the record show that I have never paid $58 for any piece of yoga clothing. I get it all on the cheap. Yoga pants at aeropostale have been on clearance for $12.99 for a while, and I’ve been stocking up.

· I’ve been finding great music! And and and… I won a $50 gift card to iTunes! Plus, emusic.com gave me ten free songs this month just because. That site is where I find some obscure and cool stuff. It’s great for new age and meditation stuff. Electronica, too. World fusion. Oh yes. Music. 🙂

· Lilacs are growing like crazy all over the neighborhood!! They smell so good. I love lilacs.

Lilacs

· More Pictures!

Me, Meiya, Shika
Me with my friends Meiya and Shika at the Tequila Dinner. Good drinks, better food. Lots of laughs and fun. It was a good night.

A Photo Shoot A Photo Shoot
A Photo Shoot A Photo Shoot
Photo Shoot!

There is a lot to be happy about, even when I just feel like being cranky. Heehee. Night!

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Staying Positive

/ positivity, reflection, ronni

I try to make it a point to stay positive. I went through a pretty bad few years where it seemed like one bad thing after another was happening to me. I kept a lot of it under wraps–only the closest people to me knew the details. It was hard to pull through, and I had to work SO HARD to try to stay positive, and I usually failed at it.

The other night, my anywhere-is site did a wonky thing and wouldn’t let me into the admin panel. I was able to access my sites, so I wasn’t too upset. I just moved everything to the main directory, which I’d been meaning to do for a while anyway. I was going through some old journal entries, and WOW. Just wow. I ended up deleting quite a few of them (from anywhere-is; they’re still on Live Journal) because they reminded me of those bad times, and many other bad times. It was like I was two people. There was the happy Ronni presented to the world, the f-locked entries that expressed rage, sadness, deep depression, and the private entries that were just…. very sad. I knew that if I read them or dwelled on them, I’d get sucked into that emotional mindset. I don’t want that.

I’m not a huge believer in The Secret, but I do think that if you put out good energy, you’ll generally get good energy back. And that if you put out bad energy, you’ll get bad energy back. Not to say that everything bad that happens is anyone’s fault. I just remembered how I worried and worried and worried, and the stuff I worried about was the stuff that kept happening over and over and over with extra random bad stuff tossed in. Almost like I imagined it into existence. So, now I work on imagining GOOD things into existence.

It’s not easy. It’s not in my nature to be as upbeat as I have been. It helps that I have an Adam and an Aidan and a Crookshanks and a Helena. It helps that I have friends who have been there forever and during those really bad times, and will keep being there. It helps that I’m making friends and discovering new stuff and getting inspired every day. It helps that I’m not worrying about surviving. It helps that I am comfortable and everlastingly grateful for all of it.

Sunday afternoon, Adam and I headed to my car to go out to do some errands and hit some vintage shops in Pilson. Upon getting to the car, I noticed that the back window was broken out AGAIN. This is the 3rd time since I’ve lived here that someone broke into my car. (If we count the time in Columbus, this is break-in number four.) First thought was “WTF? Didn’t they know it was unlocked?” Second thought was “Ha, there was nothing in there for them to get. BAHAHA. Oh crap, did they do something to the McDonald’s drink I left in there?” Third thought was “I hope this isn’t the start of a downward spiral.”

It’s that third thought that set off warning bells. If I fall into that way of thinking, it WILL become a downward spiral, and we do not want that at all. I LIKE feeling happy. It’s weird but it’s nice. I don’t want to be showered with bad things/emergencies/problems. I REFUSE to be showered with them. I’ve had enough of it, and it was only by the grace of God (and some good, true friends) that I made it through. I will keep an attitude of gratitude, and I will keep sending that out in the Universe, because I’ve learned that when I truly appreciate what I have, then even more goodness will come my way.

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Hibernation (Rambling, Long, Pictures, Survey)

/ christmas, life, pictures, positivity, ronni, survey, year-in-review

The holidays are winding down. Aidan will be going back to Ohio soon. :( And all that’s left is the cold winter months. Is it any wonder that I feel less inclined to go anywhere or do anything except curl up with a blanket, an electric heater, and a large stack of books and read and sleep? Ack.

Today is Aidan’s birthday. My little boy is seven. Last night he told me he wouldn’t stop cuddling with me until he turned ten. So I guess I have three years to soak up all the cuddles and cheek holds. Right now, that little guy who was just a tiny newborn is now sitting beside me playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii and loving it. He’s a night owl just like I am, and he is a funny eater like me. We both latch on to something we like and we can eat it over and over and over and over without getting tired of it. He’d prefer to wear pajamas and hang out all day than run all over the place. He reads like a maniac. He loves Disney. And spaghetti. He’s such an amazing, incredible child.

We had a wonderful Christmas! We spent the week leading up to it trekking to the UPS store to pick up many packages, and we got our ham from Honey Bear Hams. It was amazing and delicious! Holy cow it was good! I got two pounds, and I am freezing one pound while we plow through the rest. It’s expensive but SO WORTH IT. Guess what I’ll be getting for Easter! Yum. When we got to the store, the bear was out waving, and the place was so festive and bustling. The owner gave Aidan a free stuffed Honey Bear! They had samples out and snacks. It was a fun trip. Christmas Eve, I made chocolate-cherry truffle cake, sugar cookie cutouts, and chocolate chip cookies.

Christmas Cookies! Chocolate-Cherry Truffle Cake

I also made part of the Christmas dinner so Christmas day would be more about relaxing than rushing. AND IT WAS! We didn’t have to go anywhere! Adam was the first one up, then I got up about 830 or so. We had to get Aidan up at 930 because we were too excited! Aidan was so excited and happy with his presents!

Aidan on Christmas Morning
Still a bit sleepy, though.

We had a good Christmas. I got Planet Earth on Blu-ray Disc™ (oh yeah!), The Boondock Saints, and Sleeping Beauty as well. Wii Fit Plus, gift card to Barnes & Noble, shirts and sweaters, more Wii games, pots and pans, The Sims 3 World Adventures, Kit’s Desk (American Girl), The Game of Things, tea from Lupicia, the new Enya CD, a Proofreading Exercise book, so much stuff that I’m not even remembering! But the best was that my little boy was here with me!

The food was yummy and seems like making Christmas dinner was way less stressful than making Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe because I did some of it the night before. Hmmm.

Anyway, the rest of break has been relaxing. Reading a lot (for my birthday I scored $75 in bookstore giftcards!), hanging with Aidan, cat sitting, all that good stuff. The other day, we lost Helena! I’d thought she’d gone in Aidan’s room to sleep, but nope. Crookshanks was pacing and wailing like his cat world was ending. That’s when I realized she was missing. Snowball was out and about, which should have been my first clue that something was off. She’d been mostly hanging out in my room under the bed. We figured that Helena was hiding (there are a lot of hiding places here) from Snowball and that she’d come out when she was ready. Then I heard a big catfight from above and instantly knew that Helena had somehow gotten upstairs with Stinky and Stinky was unhappy about it. I found her hiding behind a counter and lured her out by banging a spoon on a can, picking her up and bringing her back downstairs where she ran back inside her true home. Silly kitty.

Little Helena

I don’t know when I’ll get time/inspiration to journal again, so I’m gonna do my 2009 Wrap Up stuff here:

Read the rest of this entry »

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Looking Forward

/ positivity

I am excited about 2009. Not sure what it is. Maybe because I’m with my husband, who is awesome in all ways. Maybe because my son is amazing and growing and so smart and wonderful that the thought of him makes me smile. Maybe it’s because I know that Aidan has four parents, six grandparents, many great grandparents, and loads of “aunts” and “uncles” who love him very much. Maybe it’s because I have great friends. Maybe it’s because I’m going to L.A. next week and I’ll get to see Amy and Eli and Melissa, and maybe Tasha and Dave and Angie and and and I’M GOING TO DISNEYLAND! :)

Adam says it’ll most likely be our last trip to a Disney park for a LONG time, but still. What a great way to start off the year, right? I’m very excited about the whole trip. YAY Disney! YAY friends. YAY traveling.

I feel optimistic about writing. And being provided for. And seeing Aidan more often. And growing my relationship with Adam.

I’m allowing myself to really dream big again, something I haven’t done in a long time. It feels good.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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