anywhere is…. – Page 23 – my scramblings & ramblings

(extra)ordinary time.

8 January 2014 / aidan, birthday, christmas, life, pictures

The Christmas decorations are down and put away. Chicago’s been in a deep freeze for days now. It’s a whopping 0F as I write this, which is somewhat of an improvement over the -14F we had on Tuesday. Although, when it’s this cold, it doesn’t even matter what the temperature is. It’s just effing cold, and I effing hate it. Truly, I have not been out of the house since December 30. I don’t get cabin fever like a lot of people I know, but even I’m ready for this to be over. Thankfully, temperatures are predicted to be normal by the weekend, so I can get start going to yoga again, and I can start acting classes. (I’m also out of some of my favorite foods, and I need parmesan cheese. We also need cat food.)

Freelance work is starting up again–I have a gig with VSA later this week. Aidan heads back to Columbus later this evening. (One good thing about this horrible weather? I got extra days with Aidan! Always a good thing. I will be sad when he’s gone.)

I realized that I didn’t really do any Christmas posts on my blog in 2013. Truthfully, I found it really hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I nearly didn’t decorate, but knowing that Aidan was going to be here motivated me. (He seemed to appreciate my efforts, but he had more fun twirling in the beads when I took the tree down.)

I had a nice Christmas, though. We rang in the holiday at Rich’s place (Rich is one of my favorite yoga teachers), where he and loads of other people were cooking all sorts of pancakes. There was also wine. Delicious wine. It was a really great way to bring in Christmas. Even Santa showed up. We sang Christmas carols and kirtan and talked and took pictures. It was a magical, beautiful time, and reminded me of how blessed I am to be a part of the Moksha community.

can you find me and aidan?
my friend jaylen took this photo.

After the party, we went to Hollywood Grill. That place is open 24/7, and we were still hungry. Good times.

Christmas Day was relaxing because we didn’t have to travel, nor were we hosting anyone. I liked all my gifts. I really enjoyed watching Aidan open his presents, and he was happy with everything (which was mostly LEGO and more LEGO).

see?

My birthday was low key as well. I spent most of the day with Aidan, and I got some cool presents: a Tiffany necklace from Adam, a Mickey Mouse watch from Chris and Aidan, a Mickey Mouse ring from Ivy, and $25 to amazon.com from Grandma Bel. I also bought myself a Ralph Lauren sweater. And a TARDIS blanket.

For Aidan’s birthday, we took him to a LEGO store and spoiled him some more, then we let him pick where to eat for dinner. (He wanted Harold’s, but we were in the suburbs and knew it would be a while till we made it back to the city, so we had Red Lobster instead.)

happy birthday, aidan!
i can’t believe i have an 11 year old.

All the big time partying has ended, and it’s time to trudge through another Chicago winter. This one is extra hard because it started so early. I get the feeling the North Face coat and new shell I got a couple of months ago was an excellent investment.

But I do have things to look forward to. I’m excited to start going to yoga again. Betty’s Vinyasa 1 class is the perfect amount of challenge for someone whose practice is so sporadic (like mine). I’m also excited to take acting classes. Right now, Living Social has a voucher for a 10-week workshop at Chicago Actor’s Studio. I felt like it was the Universe nudging me, so I went for it. Now I just need to go register and actually start taking classes. It’s going to be interesting to see what comes out of this. I love that I can learn for the sake of learning, and it’s affordable and accessible. The Universe opens so many possibilities when I can take advantage of those opportunities.

That’s all for now. Computer’s battery is like “meh” and I’m like “I should go to bed” and my domain is like “I’m not previewing this anymore dang it” and plus, I’m cold and want to get under my electric blanket. So, till next time……

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action. my word for 2014.

6 January 2014 / reflection, ronni

When I was in high school, it was hard for me to get engaged enough to care about homework and schoolwork. I hated my school, I didn’t care about most of the people I went to school with, and I didn’t fit in with them anyway. I had to write all over my assignments “JUST DO IT” so I’d actually get the work done.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the things I want to do, or thinking of things I feel that I should do, but then I don’t do them. I burrow deeper under the covers. I make up excuses. “It’s too cold out.” “I am too tired.” “I’ll do it tomorrow. Or Friday. Or next week.”

Then the days go by, and I look back like “Wow, I really haven’t a lot to show for that, have I?”

I spend a lot of time dreaming. A LOT. Many of them are fantastical things. Incredible daydreams that keep me up at night with their sheer ridiculousness. Some of them are actually within reach, if I would just act on them.

those ‘holy grail’ yoga poses?
I can totally do them someday, if I’d just get and stay regular in my practice.

a completed novel?
Keep writing every day. Revise. Find honest but gentle critique partners. Workshop workshop workshop.

travel?
OK, the trip to New Orleans is already booked. But what about booking those trips to NYC and the Land of Medicine Buddha for the Writing & Yoga retreat?

cleaning/organizing my room? (and maybe keeping it clean?)
Yeah… I jut need to DO IT. UFYH says to do it in 20-10 (twenty minutes of cleaning, ten minutes break), but I know myself. My ten minute break will turn into an hour break surfing tumblr. Nope. Nope. Nope. I have to marathon or else I won’t get it done.

spending less time on social media?
Close the computer. Engage in real life. I miss doing paper crafts. Taking a lot of photos.

getting in better shape?
Easy. I just have to do it. Put on the loud music and dance. Utilize the many workout DVDs I have (including an oldie but goodie I used to have on VHS and now on DVD: Paula Abdul’s Get Up and Dance!). Yoga. Use the exercise bike.

My word for 2014 is action. Instead of letting the days speed by, thinking “Wow, I should have gone to…” or “Wow, I should have done…”, I am going to act on all the things I want to do and can do within reason. And I’ll blog about it when I do. Maybe.

Linking up here.

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another day, another year.

1 January 2014 / reflection, ronni

source

Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot.
Seek the path that demands your whole being. — Rumi

Holy cow. That quote is speaking to me right now. Rumi, ladies and gentlemen.

You see, I spend most of my life not really present. It’s really weird those moments I am present because things are so bright and vivid. It’s overwhelming sometimes, which is why, after a lot of social interaction, I run and hide for a few days. I’m used to seeing everything through this haze that lives permanently in my brain. When I think of my past, I see it through that same haze, and I always wonder what was going through my mind for me to make the choices I did, good or bad.

This year, I am going to do something that will break things wide open for me. It will pull me out of that comfortable haze and force me to be present and push myself in ways I haven’t in years. I am scared and insecure and freaking out about it. But I’m going to go for it because if not now, when? I have the time. I have the money. I have the fear–but not the paralyzing kind. It’s the “I’m out of fucks to give so what the hell?” kind. I may as well… what have I got to lose? I have the support for it–a surprising amount–from friends and those closest to me. So… why not do this? I will always regret it if I don’t. I regret that I let people talk me out of it sooner. But then, I wouldn’t have Aidan. So there’s that.

(That’s one good thing about Adam. He’s remarkably supportive of all the harebrained ideas I come up with, knowing that there is a chance things might not pan out. I daresay HE’S more supportive of me than I am of myself in these endeavors. It’s like with the yoga teacher training–I still don’t know if I ever want to teach yoga full time, but I have absolutely no regrets for doing the training, and I would do it all over again.)

Truthfully, I’m writing this post while I am feeling a bit down. It’s been a hard few weeks for me, so I’m dealing with that. Having Aidan here is a huge help, though. He’s hilarious and kind and I hope he stays that way when the hormones start driving him crazy.

Even though I’m feeling kinda down for a bunch of reasons I’d rather not go into on here (thank you baby Jesus for a certain friend who gets it and is gentle with me because of it), I’m not going to let it keep me from having hopes and dreams for 2014. I always start the year like this even though I don’t officially make resolutions.

So, with that said…

Things that Need to Happen in 2014
– a trip to New Orleans (already planned)
– a trip to Jekyll Island (Thanksmas at the beach!)
– a trip to Disney World (trying to figure out the timing for this)
– acting classes (if at Second City, will sign up January 31, when the early bird registration for Spring session opens, if elsewhere, will sign up whenever that early bird registration for Spring session opens)
– more yoga (I need it. Truly.)
– more exercising (time to dust off the ole stationary bike)
– better financial decisions
– NO MORE SODA
– complete and revise novel for submission
– less time on social media (already failing at this)
– more time with my mommy
– more time with Aidan

Hopes for 2014
– more travel (New York City to see Wanda and T, California for the Candles in the Window and also to visit friends, Arkansas to visit friends and get into some serious nature, Sukhava Bodhe for at least two days….)
– more background acting work (Insurgent, please please please, and maybe not as Abnegation this time, but I’ll take what I can get and I will like it!)
– financial comfort (I really like being able to buy whatever I want–within reason, of course–and also spoiling Aidan and my mom)
– more fresh, whole foods and less meat in my diet
– better physical shape
– the guts to audition for real acting roles, small or large
– serious decluttering on a literal and a figurative level
– making new friends and appreciating the friends I already have even more
– have enough work-from-home projects so I am comfortable financially
– keep the place cleaner
– more self care (massages, positive self talk, spa days, etc.)

In My Dreams for 2014
– landing actual acting roles, small or large
– getting a publishing contract
– meeting a certain actor (if you don’t know by now then whose blog have you been reading all this time?)
– a trip to Paris (I want to sit on that lawn by the Eiffel Tower and stare at it while eating macarons from Laduree…oh and I guess visit some of the other sites and museums and things I mean I might as well while I’m there)

There are a bunch of new books coming out this year that I’m excited about, a certain movie that my face may or may not actually show up in, Betsy Tinney’s CD will be here sooooon, and I’m so looking forward to that. Of course, I’m looking forward to new music, new experiences, new everything. Here’s hoping that 2014 is filled with love, light, peace, happiness, good health, amazing opportunities, and positivity for all of us. No fear, go for your dreams, leap, and a net will appear. Be willing to let go of what does not serve you to make room for that which does. All that la di da stuff. Sending it to me and all of you.

Happy New Year!

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a look back at 2013.

31 December 2013 / pictures, reflection, ronni, year-in-review

Was 2013 a good year for you?
For the most part, yes! Especially the first nine months. I was busy, productive, learning, making friends and being with friends, doing new things. The last three months, I dropped the ball, though. I started hiding, and breaking down. Still trying to climb back up from that….

What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
– was a movie extra in a feature film
– camped out in a tent
– became a certified yoga teacher (CYT-200)
– got sick from a fair ride
– rang in Christmas with friends and chosen family at a pancake party
– visited the Bahai Temple
– many sites in NYC: Columbus Circle, certain parts of Central Park, Grand Central Station, and more
– went to Six Flags
– rode X-Flight and Superman while at Six Flags
– rode rides at Disney World that I’d never ridden before (Dinosaur, Primeval Whirl, Voyage of The Little Mermaid)
– ALA conference
– beat LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4 and 5-7 multiple times. I cheated but still.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
I wouldn’t say anyone close to me gave birth, but a lot of people I adore did have babies and that’s always fun to see.

Did anyone close to you die?
Adam’s friend from middle school passed away. It was an eye opener because she was younger than me. She was a peer. I’m at the age where my peers are dying and it’s not necessarily because of a disease or an accident. It’s scary and sad.

What countries did you visit?
None. Dammit. I have GOT to fix this.

What date(s) from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t have particular dates in my head. Just lots of general memories.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
– I got my certification to teach yoga. I am a certified yoga teacher.
– I survived two long days on the set of Divergent, in uncomfortable conditions, and still decided I wanted to do more of that.
– I had a goal to read 75 new books. I read 96 new books.

What was your biggest failure?
– I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I had some colds and a pretty icky virus during the summer. Also had a trip to the ER in late July. Eventually I will need surgery. I’m trying to put that off as long as I can.

Where did most of your money go?
Disney trips, clothes, books, and gifts.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2013?
Royals – Lorde
Grins – Charli XCX
Lies – Marina & The Diamonds
Send Me Down – HAIM
Crave You (Adventure Club Remix) – Flight Facilities
Perfume – Britney Spears
I See You – Luke Brian
Claire de Lune – Flight Facilities
anything by The Piano Guys or Lindsey Stirling

What do you wish you’d done more of?
– writing
– yoga
– riding my exercise bike
– moving my body in general
– learning
– traveling
– acting
– interpersonal interaction
– personal reflection
– journaling

What do you wish you’d done less of?
– being afraid
– hiding
– wasting time on social media (tumblr and facebook especially)
– messing around on the computer/ipad/iphone

What was your greatest musical discovery?
This kind of music that’s sometimes called “chill step.” It’s dub step, but not as intense or fast. I love it. Blackmill is a great example of really good chill step. I also fell in love with Charli XCX, Haim, Lorde, and more. I really like female vocalists, and if they’re a little different? Even better.

What did you want and get?
– macarons from Laduree
– a trip to New York City
– to take my mom to Disney World
– to be an extra in Divergent
– to meet Gaston at Disney World
– new jewelry from Tiffany

What did you want and not get?
– MORE AIDAN TIME (there is never enough)
– a flat stomach
– a trip out of the country
– to meet Theo James
– to see the Statue of Liberty, the Cloisters, and the High Line in NYC

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 39. (Seriously, how am I 39?) I hung out with Aidan. I got really cool gifts, and ate Harold’s chicken for dinner. It was a pretty good day.

What kept you sane?
– books, books, books
– yoga
– as much sleep as possible

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Theo James

What political issue stirred you the most?
The Affordable Care Act

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
– a feeling of terrified excitement in relation to a new experience usually means that whatever’s coming is going to be amazing and epic
– depression has a much stronger and scarier hold on me than I realized
– taking a job below my skill set and pay grade when I don’t have to will make me resentful and sad
– giving generously is very liberating
– having too much stuff is making me feel claustrophobic and weighed down. it’s time to seriously declutter.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
– Yoga clothes: leggings, capris, tanks, legwarmers. The brighter the better.
– Skinny jeans and boots.
– Denim jackets, yes please.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to spend more time on the Divergent set. Being able to do more acting in general.

In 2014, I am looking forward to traveling, taking photos, learning new things, amazing new experiences, visiting friends, meeting new people and making new friends, discovering new music, reading new books, and just living life. BRING IT! 🙂

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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currently.

19 December 2013 / ronni

eating.
The hot cocoa and marshmallow flavored 3 Musketeers. The teeny tiny mini ones cause tiny candy always tastes better than full-sized candy. I like them better than regular 3 Musketeers. Also I’ve been eating a lot of tater tots and crispy crowns. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

reading.
I’m doing a bunch of rereads–whatever I happen to pick up. Usually, I try to read A CHRISTMAS CAROL this time of year, but I can’t find my copy. I’m sure Adam has one around here somewhere, though, as Charles Dickens obsessed as he is.

listening to.
HAIM, Lorde, and the new Britney Spears album. Not a lot of Christmas music, which is weird, I know. (note: follow me on Spotify)

wearing.
When I’m home, it’s PJs. When I’m out, it’s my new North Face coat and gloves so I can keep warm. Also sweaters and boots.

watching.
Nothing for now, but once Aidan settles in, it’s going to Christmas specials galore. Or video games. Hmm. Most likely I’ll be watching Aidan play video games.

thinking about.
Christmas. Music. Writing. Stuff. Deadlines. Next year. My mind keeps me up all night and then I sleep until noon cause there is so much going in my brain. I’ve been walking around in a fog the past six weeks because of it. I haven’t felt truly present in a long time.

looking forward to.
Aidan getting here! He arrives tonight!! Yay!!! Excited to start really celebrating once he’s here. 🙂 We’re gonna bake cookies and watch cartoons and stuff like that. It’s going to be awesome! Yay!

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