Overwhelming…

For the first time in months, I logged into the Members Only page of Romance Writers of America. I am currently checking out the agent listings. There are so many to query and I know I need to get on the ball if I want to sell my novel.

Reading their guidelines and such really gets me excited. I work in a publishing company. I read YA/Teen Chicklit by the dozens. I’m immersed in this culture, but something keeps holding me back.

I have a lot of fear. I want this so badly, but I’m scared of it too. I’m scared that I won’t be able to write another decent novel. I’m scared that everyone will think this one sucks. I’m scared that my book will be on the 1.99 table at Barnes & Noble. Yikes.

I’m scared my novel will sell millions of copies and I’ll end up on that New York Times Bestselling list. My life will CHANGE. Am I ready?

(Am I just dreaming?)

In a few weeks, I will be Boy Free again. Chris is going to Arizona and such, and Aidan is going with my mom. I’ll have plenty of time to get to work on selling this thing. And make some progress in my currents WIPs (YES, it’s plural now)!

The ideas are flooding my brain, but I get stuffed and blocked and find it hard to sit down and let them flow. I’m always concerned about the audience. The reason ONLY YOURS was done so quickly is that I was so depressed that I didn’t care what anyone else thought. That was my escape, my emotions, my heart. I finished ONLY YOURS in approxiamately seven months. I want that again–that feeling of writing because I CANNOT stop. I need to push that block away.

I need to ignore all of these feelings of being overwhelmed, and let go. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Love it.

Oh Lord. I am babbling. I’m outta here.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

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…And It Was Amazing (Pictures)

A few weeks ago, I’d received an invitation to the Luchtenberg’s Golden Anniversary party. I immediately decided that anything that may have been planned that day was to be scrapped–there was no way I was missing this celebration.

The Luchtenbergs had been a part of my life since 1997. I was roommates with their son Dave, and I frequently ate dinner at his parent’s house. Patty’s Cooking. Best.Meals.Ever. She could totally trademark her food.

After he broke up with his girlfriend (who was also a roommate of mine), I kind of fell out of touch with Dave. You know, you drift away, live your lives, etc.

Well, God certainly had plans to reconnect me with them.

Years later, Chris and I started attending Heritage. I remember, during the Christmas program, a family came up to give a testimony. The girl had glasses and long blonde hair and said she was not happy about moving to Ohio. The following weeks, I’d see her, worshipping her heart out, and pray that she and I would become friends. God answered that prayer with a YES, and I later found out that this girl–Katie–was their granddaughter!

It doesn’t end there. We’d met up again with the Luchtenberg’s for some spiritual counseling in 2003. Chris showed me the card, and the name rang a bell with me. “I know them,” I’d said. “They’re Dave Luchtenberg’s parents. I used to go there for dinner.” Memories came rushing back to me as soon as we went to their house, and it was an amazing reunion. I’d begun to remember other family members; people I’d seen around church and thought they looked familiar but couldn’t exactly place them.

So now, there were at least three connections.

One night after church (we used to go to the Saturday service back then), Katie’s aunt Nancy came up to me and asked if the name Vera rang a bell. I had to think for a minute and the first thought was “spankin.net!!” Yes, that rang a bell. She and I had posted together on Dodo’s message board a long time ago, and we were sister domains at one point. Then I remembered that she’d emailed me a few months prior and mentioned that her boyfriend’s family went to my church and perhaps I knew them.

Guess who her boyfriend is related to?

Katie!

He’s her brother.

Oh yes, I knew her boyfriend’s family. Very much so. 🙂

So tonight was the party. The first incredible thing that happened was when Chris and I walked up to the driveway. I saw this gorgeous Asian girl and smiled at her. She smiled back and then said “Ronni?” I said “Yes,” and she said “I’m Vera!” HUGE hugs all around! Her boyfriend was gobsmacked the entire night about how Vera and I had met randomly on a message board then met in real life, unexpectedly, tonight. It was a very good surprise.

She said she’d recognized me from all the pictures I post on my website(s). I wonder if anyone else around town ever sees me and looks twice, wondering if I’m that girl from anywhere-is.net. That would be kind of neat, huh?

The second incredible thing was seeing how this family appreciated and loved their parents so much. Dick and Patty raised eight children and created a legacy that touches more people than they could ever realize. Their grandchildren are amazing musicians. Their family is wonderful. I felt like a part of them when I was there and was loathe to leave. The amount of LOVE there was overwhelming. It had been a long time since I’d felt that.

They sang two songs that they’d written. One of them was about the day of the life of the Luchtenberg Family Tree. It was hilarious!! It totally reminded me of a Brady Bunch type thing. Then they sang one called Legacy which was awesome. The children all sang, and the grandchildren played. It was beautiful and made me cry (just a little bit!) Pastor Jim arrived late, so they did an encore just for him. 🙂

Aidan connected with a cute little girl named Alex. They even danced together! 🙂 It was adorable. Chris said “Hey, if they get married, we’ll be a part of their family after all!” 🙂

Oh yeah, I promised you pictures. Okay…here goes.


Me, waiting in the car for Chris to get the directions.


Me again, still waiting.


The guests of honour – Dick and Patty. 🙂


I thought her face was super adorable here!!


It’s me and Vera!!!


David and me. I wonder if I can dig up some pictures of us from the college days….
NOTICE how my hair is losing more curl in each picture? HAH!

Tonight was really, really good. 😀 God is good. 🙂 Amen.

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I’m An Aunt + Other Stuff! (Pictures)

I’m an aunt!!! I’ve never been an aunt before. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had their baby girl today. Jamie Elizabeth is the first girl born into the Davis family in decades! Much rejoicing is to be done!


Welcome, baby Jamie!!!

Had another good day at work. It’s WEIRD to actually enjoy my job. I know I’ve only worked there for two days, but to see people so passionate about something that I am passionate about–the synergy in the group… it’s amazing. I pray it only gets better.

There is SO MUCH that goes into making a text book. It’s overwhelming. I’m learning so much every day. It’s so nice to feel like part of a team, instead of just the “go to” person for all the grunt work. We have a break room with hot water, tea and cocoa, a fridge, and a neat little machine that makes water and ice. There is candy all over the place (which is BAD for me!). I drink a LOT of water these days. It’s so easy to go and refill it. And it’s really good for me, right?

Proofreading is a lot harder than it seems. But I enjoy it immensely. Isn’t that crazy? Looking for mistakes? How is that fun? But it is for me.

I just can’t believe I got this job! I pray it continues to be wonderful for me.

Here is the building where I work. It’s not the best angle, I’ll try to get a better one soon.


McGraw-Hill

The other day, I was outside. Chris had just watered the plants and I noticed some droplets clinging to one of the leaves of the lamb’s ear. I had to capture it:

I have lots of email to answer. I’ll have to make time to answer it soon, huh? I am also behind on phone calls. I need to start making lists again:

To Do:
– emails
– phone calls
– sort out boxes from NW
– clean out closet
– 10 pages
– critique Renee’s (laverick) pages
– memorize my lines for “Strange Love.”

Mmm. Chores. Gotta love it.

There is a cricket living in our garage! When I go out in the morning to go to work, I hear it chirping and echoing. So cute! 🙂

Ate Friendly’s tonight. It had been a while since I’d been there. YUMMY! I had a chocolate ice cream soda. Delicious. My stomach wasn’t too happy with me afterwards, but my MOUTH was!!!!

Okay then. I should head to bed soon.

Good night!

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My Adorable Aidan

Want to see the SUPREME CUTENESS that is my son??

Here is a video of him from last night. Just randomness, really.

Random Cutess: Click | 8.0 megabytes

Enjoy! 🙂

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First Day as a Non-Secretary

McGraw-Hill is already proving to be a different world from Nationwide. Firstly, the team is so much more laid-back and close-knit. We all had lunch together today! I guess this is a normal thing? Everyday at 11:30ish? So cool. I’m so used to eating lunch alone, and here, on my first day, I sat with a huge group of people.

The job seems okay so far. I didn’t do a lot today of course. There was orientation. We watched a video and went on a tour. The ID machine was broken, so I don’t have an ID yet. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow. My computer was already set up–email and everything ready to go. I started ATTEMPTING to make some tracking/logging sheets. It was a bit scary. I’ll try again tomorrow. 🙂

I have a chapter to practice proofing on and some books to read. Should be plenty to keep me busy tomorrow.

The drive in wasn’t too bad, except for the rain and my broken windshield wiper. I fixed it for the drive home, though. I was home a little bit after five, and that was even with getting Aidan from Johnstown today. Record time. Hooray for back roads that aren’t used a lot (yet).

Today was good. The best part was NOT being a secretary anymore. And meeting all the people, and seeing Abbie and NOT FREEZING TO DEATH AT MY DESK. Oh, and the chocolate all over the place. Twix and M&Ms and lots of other yummy things. Heehee.

I’m excited to go back tomorrow.

‘Til Later!

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