Just Writing.

/ aidan, books, friends, life, meme, mommyhood, sick

Just felt like writing. I slept on the couch last night because I was coughing so much I didn’t want to wake up Aidan. Tonight, I’m sleeping in the guest room so I can cough to my heart’s content. Except, I’m not really content when I’m coughing so much….

Aidan is so precious. It’s kind of weird to me how Chris can leave him alone and crying before he goes to sleep. I’m sure I derail whatever Chris is trying to teach him by doing that because if I hear Chris leave Aidan’s room and Aidan is screaming, I drop everything and go in there with him. I did that a bit ago. Aidan just wanted a soft cheek to touch as he fell off to sleep. It’s so amazing how this little hand is so gentle and special. So full of non-judgement and unconditional love. I don’t like for people to touch my face, but Aidan has full reign. 🙂

I’m slowly starting to feel better. The coughing fits seem to be getting milder, thank goodness. I can sit up for longer than an hour at a time. I don’t feel nearly as exhausted and stuffy as I did before. The first part of this week was pretty much a blur, especially Tuesday and Wednesday. A congested, stuffy-nosed, coughing-filled blur. I hate being sick so much. I lose out and I get so behind and I have no energy for anything. Finally am I starting to feel a bit more like myself.

It must be “Thursday.” I remember back in early 2000, I had a horrible case of the flu. I was throwing up, I could not sit up for more than ten minutes at a time. I had absolutely no appetite. I was sleeping all day. I was miserable and crying because I was so weak and tired and sick. Then Thursday came and I felt better. Chris gave me orange juice and I am convinced the o.j. helped me somewhat. I remember watching Ever After and feeling so happy that I could walk to the bathroom without feeling like I was going to collapse.

One of my books that I put on reserve is in at the library–Speak. Becky recommended it to me, so I’ll go and pick that up soon; they’re holding it ’til the 23rd. I’ll turn in Wicked while I’m at it. I put that third book in the Traveling Pants series on reserve, but last I checked, I was number 115! It’s going to be a while before I get to read that book, huh? Of course, I could just buy all three of them from amazon the next time I get paid. Actually, I may have gotten paid today…? I’m not exactly sure. Hmmm.

There is a cat in here purring. I think it may be Fi. 🙂 Yup, it’s Fi. Yay.

<3 Rob & Bizzy <3!!!
(and ho hos and macaroni and cheese!)

I am having a fit. A Megan (megnita) fit. (ya know, like a nicotene fit?) I haven’t seen her in ages. I must hang out with her soon.

Meep

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Shaking & Quaking

/ ronni

Why did no one ever tell me that chasing my dreams would be so scary?

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Upper Respiratory Infection

/ ronni, sick

I am officially sick again. I went to the doctor today and he said that I have an upper respiratory infection, and wrote me an excuse for today and tomorrow. So I’ll be staying home again. Aidan is going with his grandmother for 1/2 day so I can get some rest. Chris hinted that it was unfair for me to engage a “sitter” when I’m not going to work. It’s not like I’m sitting here and partying, though. I’m resting so I can feel better. Aidan and I will probably sleep all afternoon anyway. At least, I hope that’s the case.

I don’t have much of an appetite at all. From time to time I get a craving for something fast-food and fried, but I squash it. I have a headache that comes and goes. Coughing fits. I feel very weak and shaky. The doctor put me on lots and lots of antibiotics and special cough medicine pills–the same stuff I had in December. Aidan and I slept for four hours this evening. He’s still very sick too. But when we give him his Tylenol with codeine, he turns into normal Aidan for all of fifteen minutes before he is cranky and crying again. Poor little booba.

The soldier that lives behind us came home from Iraq over the weekend. He’s like a year early. I was going to Bible Study on Sunday when I noticed the flags on the street and the big welcome home sign for him.

american idol spoiler

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I Blend In Like A Good Weave

/ aidan, friends, life

I can’t fight it. I’ve got the urge to write again. Anything. Letters, poems, fiction. Something. I need to be writing.

So here I am, writing. Again.

It doesn’t matter that it’s after 1am and I’m dead tired from lack of good sleep. The boys got in at 1:10am Tuesday morning. I had to get them from the airport. Aidan was miserable. He held on to me for dear life. We got home around 2ish and we all went to bed shortly after. Aidan fell asleep in Chris’s arms. Since Aidan was with him, Chris did not put on his machine. His snoring kept me up so I moved to the other room. At about probably 5am, Aidan woke up and started crying for me. Chris gave him to me. Aidan stayed up crying til about 7. I was up with him, and finally we fell into a fitful 2.5 hour sleep.

Tuesday was rough. I was tired. We took Aidan back to the doctor because he had yet another fever. He’d been running them on and off for days and days. I found out what the problem most likely was, and it was my fault, and I feel so guilty. The doctor told me not to worry, it happens all the time. But I didn’t want it to happen to Aidan and now he’s sick and in pain and it’s all because of me. 🙁

Aidan is sick. I’m sick. I get these coughing fits that make me want to puke because I’m coughing so much. I nearly cry because I’m so frustrated at all the coughing with nothing to do about it. I’m out of control–just like I’m out of control of so much in my life.

I’ve seen so many movies over the past few days. Tommy Boy (great reliving it), Undercover Brother (I blend in like a good weave), Hitch (GO SEE IT NOW) just to name a few.

I need to reiterate how much I love Rob and Bizzy. Seeing them at least three times a week has become a regular thing for me. I can’t imagine what I did witih all of my time before. Actually, I can, and it involves playing around on this here computer.

Uh oh. Aidan is crying now. Looks like another long night for me. Another day off if I don’t get enough rest, and another day my boss gets to be pissed off at me. I guess I can’t help it that my little one comes first and this winter has been a rough one for me.

Later…

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