Lotsa Stuff

Allergies. They’re SO not fun. I’m tired and sniffly. And sneezy too. Bah.

Well, I guess I have kind of a long update to give you. Bottom line is that I’d gone after what I thought would be a dream job–well, at least the closest to my dream job I can get at Nationwide, but certain factors trumped that. I felt betrayed and upset and plain old STUPID. So, Chris took my resume, revamped it, and I’m going to go from there. I’ll remain a secretary while working on my writing at night in the meantime, but I know now that nothing I do will please them. My skillset is NOT for the administrative assistant position. I used to say “I’m better than this.” That’s the wrong attitude to have. Now, I say “My skills are better suited for something else.” It’s up to me to find that something else.

Naturally, I turned to retail therapy to cheer myself up. Meep.

Friday, Kelly P and I went to Morone’s Italian Villa for dinner. I LOVE that place and I’d wanted to take her there for months now. No one else’s sauce can touch theirs. It was a very pleasant dinner and evening. Good food, good conversation, GREAT company. I <3 Kelly P. She’s one of those people who I can be around for hours and hours and never tire of her.

Saturday, Jennifer (dewdropdew aka lamplamp) came over and we hung out. We went to lunch with Chad and Christy to Nazareth’s, a Middle Eastern place. For the first time, I had good hummus. WOW, it was yummy, with the bread. Mmmm. I had chicken over rice. It had all the spices. Very interesting flavors, let me tell you. Once upon a time, I refused to try new foods. And Lord knows I get into my ruts with meals. But now, I relish trying new things, at least once.

Anyway, after lunch, Jennifer and I watched Justin Timberlake DVDs, then watched Chris play Tombraider – Angel of Darkness. After Jennifer left, we went to Chad and Christy’s. Chad had grilled steaks and prime rib (MMMMMM!) and we had corn on the cob. Christy made her cheesy cauliflower which I’m sure I would have enjoyed if I’d liked cauliflower. It looked yummy. That was a fun evening, but by then, my allergies were really starting to annoy me. As were cramps. I was happy to get home and get to bed.

Today, I skipped Sunday school again. I hate skipping because there is so much good stuff going on in there. But I really wasn’t feeling well and needed to get the extra rest. Church was awesome as usual. EMILY (yoimemily) WAS THERE!!! So was Bizzy (otaku_witch). They make me smile.

I owe Emily a party. And I have to invite Bizzy and Becky too. We’re going to watch Fargo and eat macaroni and cheese. It’s going to be quality.

During worship, I went into this meditation. I can’t remember the song. But I remember I had this vision of me running and leaving this huge cloud of JUNK behind. I was running towards a light and when I got there, Jesus was there with a huge smile and his arms open. I ran to Him he hugged me and comfort me. Like how when Aidan runs to me with his arms open, I scoop him up and cover him with a million kisses. I completely lost myself in this “daydream” and I felt so at peace and so filled with joy.

When I first started going to Heritage, one of the first teachings was on learning how to pray. I usually feel badly because I don’t always pray that way. Sometimes my prayers are just little whispers. Or meditations. I feel like I don’t do it right sometimes. But God gets the message from me no matter which way I do it. So, I guess I’m doing okay.

After church, I gave Tami her birthday present: A S’mores maker. She loved it. And I socialized for a bit. I have a couple of friends to keep in my mind and heart and prayers this week for sure.

When we got home, Aidan had fallen asleep in the car. Chris took him and they lay in the recliner and napped. Then I napped upstairs. Chris let me sleep for a LONG time. I felt so good that I cleaned the loft and cleaned out my desk drawer. Now, I have only 3984789457893 chores to do instead of 3984789457891. I want to get the house looking fairly good because Friday morning is when…


iVY will be here!!!

But before then, I have lots to do.

Monday – see Vicki
Tuesday – Life Group
Wednesday – shopping with Christy
Thursday – CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN
Friday – iVY!! πŸ™‚

Then, there are the chores:

– laundry (mine and Aidan’s)
– clean master bathroom/water closet
– wash bed clothes in guest room

And the other stuff:

– research Writer’s Market 2005 for potential agents/editors/publishers
– finish synopsis
– make mid-sized synopsis
– chiropractor Mon & Wed morning

I need to make more money. There is so much I want. DVDs galore. Clothes. Jewelry. Purses. WHY must I be so materialistic?? Not only that, but Aidan needs new clothes ASAP. See, his 12 and 18 month clothes finally fit him around the waist. For the most part. He’s so skinny–a lot of his clothes did nothing but fall off for a long time. Unfortuately, he’s pretty tall too. So, he looks like he’s wearing capri pants or something most of the time. NOT CUTE AT ALL. So, I need to head to Wally World and shop for him. Actually, I think that Gap Kids might be my place of choice. I’ve got Chris’s discount card. There is a certain outfit (3rd from the top, and the 4th one too) there that I want. But it’d be about $100 even with the discount. πŸ™ I’d look so cute, too. But I need more money, dang it.

I took the S.H.A.P.E. ministry profile test last night. I got some interesting things as my spiritual gifts:
1. martyr
2. faith
3. pastor and hospitality

The one that threw me was pastor. ME, a pastor? I talked a little bit with Joshua about it today. He definitely agreed about the hospitality one. I agreed about the faith one. Martyr I can see, but not as number 1! I mentioned my doubts about the pastor one. He said he could see it. He could totally see it. ME??? Here is the definition of Pastor:

The gift of pastor is the special ability that God gives to certain members of the body of Christ to assume a long-term personal responsibility for the spiritual welfare of a group of believers.

Do you guys see that?

That’s a tall order to fill. But if it’s for God… BRING IT ON! πŸ™‚ Anything for Him.

Okay then. I’m way past my bedtime. Good night. Have a gorgeous week. πŸ™‚

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:)

I feel better now. Details later.

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So yeah…

I’m pretty damned depressed right now. Beating myself up. Telling myself how worthless I am. Feeling hopeless. Trapped. Stuck. Stupid. Frustrated.

I’m tired of having hopes that do nothing but get dashed because EVERYONE ELSE has the authority to manage my life and my dreams. Not me. Never has been me, never will be.

What’s the point of even going on?

Telling myself the platitudes isn’t helping this time, folks. I’m tired.

Pray for me. πŸ™

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Hmph

It’s after midnight. I’m hungry. For white rice and gravy. Figures

AND NO I’M NOT PREGNANT YOU NOSY [BLEEPS]!! πŸ˜‰

I also feel sicker and sicker. This cannot be good.

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My Day & The Grove

My day was interesting today. I got to work, and one of the guys I support had sent me an email, asking for editing. You’d better believe I jumped at the chance. I gave him suggestions and feedback, and this afternoon, he sent me an email with a smiley face saying that he really appreciated my work, that he used EVERY ONE of my suggestions except one that needed to stay as it was. ALL of them. Then he came by to personally thank me and said I just brought a lot of work on. I told him to bring it on. I LOVE editing, and if I can do more of that, my job will be much more bearable. I think I impressed him. πŸ™‚

I am hoping for more editing work to come my way. I do enjoy it and it would definitely strengthen my writing background.

Thanks to those of you who kept me in your thoughts and prayers today. I will be updating soon (but hopefully not too soon) as details unfold. πŸ™‚

I love my little boy. I just can’t say it enough!

I did end up going to the grove tonight. Aidan behaved very well for 45 minutes. He got antsy after that, and to be honest, I was getting antsy as well, so I didn’t mind taking him out of the room so he could unwind. It was a very nice service. It’s hard for me to get into it when Aidan is there, though. I’m always worried he’s going to freak out and make noise or something. And he constantly needs stimulation, while being quiet and sitting still. It’s a challenge. I don’t want to miss the services, though. I love being there with my friends. Speaking of, Tina looked so pretty tonight! I took a picture of her! πŸ™‚ I got a HUGE hug from Abe. Christy was by my side the whole night, helping out with Aidan. I think I would have been overwhelmed had I not had her with me. <3. I can't say enough about how AWESOME she is. And Kelly P too. Ack. I don't want to name names because I don't want to leave people out! Um... this is a bit very freaky (first 2 links). Note to self: upload robots.txt file to photo album as soon as possible. Oy. Now this link is cool because I’m on that page. πŸ™‚ Heehee.

Years ago, I put together a website for an awesome person named Rick Klaus: http://members.aol.com/mwpress I was going through it just now, and came across his Peace and Justice Quotes: http://members.aol.com/mwpress/quotes.html. Check ’em out. Good food for thought, I think.

(For some reason, LJ hates links to AOL member pages… Hmmm.)

Well, I need to go to bed. There is a NASTY bug going around at work, and people have been knocked out for days at a time. Our team is going down–actually, they ARE down and have been for days now. I don’t want to get it, so I’m going to get some rest and try to fight it before it starts. Unfortunately, a sore throat is already starting to form, and I feel tired and a bit weak. I DON’T WANT TO GET SICK!

Lastly, I’m very behind on emails. I’ll get to them soon, I promise.

G’night!

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