RULES FOR WRITING * subject to change

1. I must write something every single day. It can be a journal entry, a poem, or a novel. Email doesn’t count.
2. I must read the blogs of authors, agents, and other writers who inspire me at least once a week.
3. I must write from my heart, bugger what the market is like.
4. I must try to stop revising as I write. JUST WRITE, DAMMIT!
5. I must remember and LIVE by this quote by James Thurber: Don’t get it right, get it written.
6. I must not tell anyone about the projects I am working on. (It seems the second I tell someone, I lose all inspiration to continue).
7. I must not get discouraged as rejection after rejection pours in.
8. BELIEVE in myself and my writing.
9. BELIEVE in my dreams.
10. Work hard to make those dreams come true.

2005-2006 WRITING GOALS

1. Find a critique partner. (Renee laverick or Ivy swankivy? Anyone?)
2. Finish a novel by April or May of 2006.
3. Network more.
4. Refine my writing.
5. Learn as much as I can about writing, publishing, the market, and all that jazz.
6. Get an agent or a publisher.
7. Be the best I can be, then keep striving for more.

That is all.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

Have you seen the cover for Sarah Dessen’s (writergrl) new book? It’s so pretty!!

I remember chatting on AIM with Lauren (laurenbarnholdt) months ago (has it been already that long?) and she and I were discussing book covers, what we wanted them to look like, what the market preferred, things of that sort. She actually has a concept/comp cover. My novel is still looking for an agent.

I can’t help but to get excited when I read the blogs of those authors. Sometimes I even get the crazy notion that one day I will be the one blogging about my cover. I will be able to say (so HAPPILY) “I am an author. Here is my book, go buy it! Support your local bookseller, go to Amazon, whatever. Just get it, read it, and love it. Then tell me how much you love it.”

So, I try to imagine what the cover will look like. If the editors will want to change the title. If I’ll EVER get an editor. But first, I need an agent. Will that ever happen?

Then a Voice whispers to me: “Wait. Be still and know that it will all be okay.”

The dream of being an author, seeing my work in print, selling books, and moving/impacting people with my writing seems totally far-fetched, but I just can’t give up on it. Not when I remember the feeling I get when I write something and write it with every fabric of my being, with every piece of my soul. Not when I read these blogs and think to myself “I can DO this too, I simply have to keep trying.” Not when there are characters in my mind kicking at the corners of my brain keeping me awake at night. Not when I read another YA novel (I have NO clue how many I’ve barrelled through this year alone!) and my heart starts beating again and I know, I know I have something to contribute to this market. Not when someone reads my work (whether it be a poem, a song, or a novel) and this person tells me she couldn’t put it down. (I got another compliment on my poem today. He told me it grabbed him and sucked him in. If any of you would like to read it, just let me know.)

So, I think I am going to redo my plan and attitude toward my writing. The novel I am shopping around now is long, especially for a YA novel. I am trying to get out of the mindset that every book I write needs to be that long. One would think this would make things a bit easier, right?

WRONG!!! But anyway…

I am revising the requirements. I don’t have to knock out 100,000 word novels every six months. Surely, I’d lose my mind, job, family…something, right?

It is important that I write everyday. Something, anything (OTHER THAN EMAILS!) Those of you who read this, feel free to kick me in the butt regarding my writing. Ultimately, I know it’s up to ME, but I’d love to have some accountability. We’ll see, I guess.

Off to do some photocopying now…

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)

I don’t update this journal nearly enough as I should–which could only mean one thing: that I am NOT working on my writing.

The problem is FEAR. I fear that I will lose the ideas rushing around in my head. Twice, I’ve dived into new projects only to have them fizzle after about 20-40 pages. And then I ask myself–how can I possibly be a writer?

Several weeks ago, an email went out at work asking people to submit writings for display for the employee art show or something of that sort. I submitted a poem and completely forgot about it until today, when the boss of my boss asked me if I’d submitted the poem that was downstairs. My memory quickly retrieved that bit of information and I told her yes. “I had no idea you were a poet,” she said, looking at me with … admiration? She told me the poem was really good. I often forget that I have a poetic nature–I mean, let’s face it, poetry is not *that* popular, and my poetry tends to be very personal–usually written when I am very sad and overwhelmed by it. I don’t share it a lot.

To hear someone who has worked in editing and publishing for probably several years compliment me on my poetry made me feel good. I AM a writer, dammit.

If only I would just WRITE.

I want to write. The desire keeps me awake at night. My heart races as I am driving and picking up things here and there–letting this character grow in my mind. But when it comes down to it, I stop myself. I worry that I’m going to lose my momentum and thus toss another great potential story to the wayside.

Then I read. I read and read and read and feel that inspiration bubbling up in me again. And I want to write. But I don’t. It’s a vicious circle–I love it so much so WHY do I hold myself back from doing it? Why can’t I shut that dang inner critic up who keeps telling me the story sucks, not to continue?

Does anyone else find it this hard?

And rejections. Am I the only aspiring author that kind of gets them and thinks (for the most part) “Oh well, next time.” It seems that a lot of aspiring authors get kind of broken up over them. Only one actually nearly reduced me to tears–the others really did not. Of course, I do feel a bit disappointed. But I keep hoping for some reason. It’s very strange. I know the novel I am shopping around will be a HARD sell. I NEED an agent. And so many authors say to keep plugging, not to give up. I am always tempted to give up for about 36 hours after I get a rejection–but of course, I simply cannot. I guess that means I kind of believe in my work, huh?

Well, I must go. The cats are desperate to get into my bedroom (for whatever reason) and I’m going to get a shower, then ATTEMPT to write something.

Night.

(Originally published at Anywhere Is…)